DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 48201--------------------------------------------------
Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: BeagleMommy Date: March 3, 2020, 2:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
BeagleDaddy and I meet my parents for either coffee or breakfast
almost every Sunday.
Last week we were in Panera. At a table behind us was a lady
about my mom's age (late 60s/early-mid 70s) and her tween
grandson.
My mom was telling us that we were going to be getting a Dave n'
Buster's franchise in our area. My dad asked what that was and,
before I could explain it was like a grown up arcade with food,
I found a cell phone in front of my face. The woman at the
table behind us pulled up the D&B website and started telling
all about how many time her grandson and other family had been
to one. She left half an hour later and on her way out
commented on another topic of conversation between me and my
family.
I understand that you sometimes can't avoid overhearing
conversations at nearby tables, but wouldn't it have been more
polite to say "excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing" instead
of shoving her phone at me and interrupting our conversation?
#Post#: 48206--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: sandisadie Date: March 3, 2020, 2:53 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I probably would have said to her "excuse me, but who are you?"
And followed that up with something like "I didn't realize that
you were part of our conversation". IMO when someone is so
horribly rude and out of bounds you just have to be a little
rude back!
#Post#: 48208--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: oogyda Date: March 3, 2020, 3:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Wow....just wow.
#Post#: 48215--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: jpcher Date: March 3, 2020, 4:19 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=1648.msg48201#msg48201
date=1583267350]
I understand that you sometimes can't avoid overhearing
conversations at nearby tables, but wouldn't it have been more
polite to say "excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing" instead
of shoving her phone at me and interrupting our conversation?
[/quote]
Oh, yes, that would have been so much more polite!
I've had a few occasions where seating is tight and someone at
another table butts into my conversation, but they've always
asked "excuse me" or "if you don't mind" and when given a go
ahead a "I have an answer to your question." Polite informative
conversation about the question in hand ensues and when the
question has been answered conversation (usually*) goes back to
our own tables.
Butting in on a different table's conversation without asking if
it's okay? Yes, that's rude.
*There was one time when I was out with a friend of mine and
this scenario happened. However, when the couple at the other
table started to pull their chairs over to my table I politely
said "Oh, we're here for girly chit-chat. You can keep your own
table." Friend and I spoke in much softer voices after that.
#Post#: 48237--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 4, 2020, 9:12 am
---------------------------------------------------------
The most polite thing to do is to pretend that you cannot hear
other people's conversations. If you must butt in (and I do
think that these occasions are very, very rare) then yes, you
should excuse yourself. And I cannot think of any occasion when
it's ok to shove your phone in someone's face. Saying something
like "I have their website up on my phone if you would like to
see" would be better.
#Post#: 48248--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: JeanFromBNA Date: March 4, 2020, 1:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Her grandson's probably completely mortified.
#Post#: 48254--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: Gellchom Date: March 4, 2020, 3:14 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=sandisadie link=topic=1648.msg48206#msg48206
date=1583268829]
I probably would have said to her "excuse me, but who are you?"
And followed that up with something like "I didn't realize that
you were part of our conversation". IMO when someone is so
horribly rude and out of bounds you just have to be a little
rude back!
[/quote]
I would be tempted, too, but I disagree that you "just have to"
be rude, even a little bit, in a situation like this. There are
polite and pleasant ways to respond and shut down the intrusion
without punishing and humiliating the offender. Whether or not
they deserve it!
I also disagree that this was "so horribly rude." It was
intrusive and impolite, and I agree she should have followed one
of the scripts suggested by others, but I can think of much
worse things she could have said or done!
In any case, I think we have generally agreed that retaliatory
rudeness is not okay. (I think that's one of the reasons we
love this forum -- we can indulge our snappy comeback fantasies
safely!)
#Post#: 48256--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: jpcher Date: March 4, 2020, 3:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=JeanFromBNA link=topic=1648.msg48248#msg48248
date=1583349861]
Her grandson's probably completely mortified.
[/quote]
Eh, I think I'm on the other side of the coin here. Grandson
probably does the same thing to Grandma (pushes the phone in
front of her face) "Look Gma!" So gma just might think it's
acceptable behavior nowadays.
Maybe it is amongst family and friends, but certainly not
strangers.
#Post#: 48262--------------------------------------------------
Re: Please Don't Shove Your Phone in My Face
By: lakey Date: March 4, 2020, 4:51 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I would find this intrusive. One way to deal with it is to
shorten the intrusion by politely saying, "Mm, hmm." Then turn
back to the other people at your table.
*****************************************************