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#Post#: 47634--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: Jem Date: February 20, 2020, 12:40 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=1636.msg47631#msg47631
date=1582222653]
[quote]
Just because you've never had the need, doesn't mean others
haven't had legitimate reasons to google a friends name. I
google my friends all the time to get their addresses.
[/quote]
I never said I haven't. The difference is I don't think about
telling someone "While I was googling you [for legit reasons or
snooping], guess what I found about a third person close to
you."
[/quote]
I think is what set off my "this is weird" warning also. If I
were looking for the name of the company Alex works for, I would
scroll right past a link to a child's or young woman's youtube
page. It could not possibly provide me with the information I am
looking for.....unless I was snooping or just kinda fishing. The
fact that the DH actually watched the video enough to know it's
content just seems a little off to me. I am not saying that the
DH did anything wrong, just pointing out that had the DH
"confronted" or told Alex "what he found" I don't think it would
make DH look good and could make him look really quite creepy,
even though he likely did not intent to be.
#Post#: 47642--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: Isisnin Date: February 20, 2020, 2:17 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jem link=topic=1636.msg47634#msg47634
date=1582224042]
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=1636.msg47631#msg47631
date=1582222653]
[quote]
Just because you've never had the need, doesn't mean others
haven't had legitimate reasons to google a friends name. I
google my friends all the time to get their addresses.
[/quote]
I never said I haven't. The difference is I don't think about
telling someone "While I was googling you [for legit reasons or
snooping], guess what I found about a third person close to
you."
[/quote]
I think is what set off my "this is weird" warning also. If I
were looking for the name of the company Alex works for, I would
scroll right past a link to a child's or young woman's youtube
page. It could not possibly provide me with the information I am
looking for.....unless I was snooping or just kinda fishing. The
fact that the DH actually watched the video enough to know it's
content just seems a little off to me. I am not saying that the
DH did anything wrong, just pointing out that had the DH
"confronted" or told Alex "what he found" I don't think it would
make DH look good and could make him look really quite creepy,
even though he likely did not intent to be.
[/quote]
Well, I'm one of the weird ones. I google people I know for a
whole slew of reasons. It's not like going thru someone's
private purse or desk. The 'net is public.
I have a relative whose married name I cannot spell. I can
google it reasonably close to get the true spelling. Recently my
brother needed her info for an event he is planning. Since my
brother and I were corresponding via email, it was easy for me
to google the incorrect spelling to get the correct spelling.
Saw a news link about relative's husband. Not my business but I
clicked it and read it.
Once got a suggestion for a Youtube clip of a son of a friend
(not sure how youtube thought I'd be interested). I clicked it
and watched.
Those examples happened to be positive topics. So I won't
hesitate at all to mention them to those families when I see
them again.
If they had happened to be negative topics, I might wonder
whether or not to mention them to the family in question.
Depends on variables.
If I wondered enough, I might not ask the opinions of friends or
family as they might know those involved, I'd ask for opinions
here since it is anonymous. Even if I had made up my mind, I
might post it here as it would an interesting conversation - and
it is.
#Post#: 47648--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: Hmmm Date: February 20, 2020, 3:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=1636.msg47631#msg47631
date=1582222653]
[quote]
Just because you've never had the need, doesn't mean others
haven't had legitimate reasons to google a friends name. I
google my friends all the time to get their addresses.
[/quote]
I never said I haven't. The difference is I don't think about
telling someone "While I was googling you [for legit reasons or
snooping], guess what I found about a third person close to
you."
[/quote]
No, you said the OP's husband was snooping. You have no idea
his intent but you've chosen to cast his action in a poor way by
using the term snooping.
There is a difference in "snooping" and just "huh, that's
interesting" if you happen to run across something you weren't
expecting. I have a friend who runs a blog but I can never
remember the name so I google him and his blog comes up. Once,
his wife's blog also appeared in the results and I followed the
link to her site because I was "interested" about what she
blogged about. In your world you'd consider my actions snooping.
edited because I hit post before I completed by mistake.
#Post#: 47649--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: chigger Date: February 20, 2020, 4:03 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=1636.msg47631#msg47631
date=1582222653]
[quote]
Just because you've never had the need, doesn't mean others
haven't had legitimate reasons to google a friends name. I
google my friends all the time to get their addresses.
[/quote]
I never said I haven't. The difference is I don't think about
telling someone "While I was googling you [for legit reasons or
snooping], guess what I found about a third person close to
you."
[/quote]
But OP had no intention of telling the father! She said so in
her post. She just wondered what other people would do. You are
being really focused on OP telling the Dad, when she very
clearly states she and her husband have no intention of telling
him.
You also accuse him of snooping, which you have no idea if he
did or not. You are lashing out at OP for a simple question.
Really not very nice.
#Post#: 47650--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: chigger Date: February 20, 2020, 4:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Jem link=topic=1636.msg47634#msg47634
date=1582224042]
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=1636.msg47631#msg47631
date=1582222653]
[quote]
Just because you've never had the need, doesn't mean others
haven't had legitimate reasons to google a friends name. I
google my friends all the time to get their addresses.
[/quote]
I never said I haven't. The difference is I don't think about
telling someone "While I was googling you [for legit reasons or
snooping], guess what I found about a third person close to
you."
[/quote]
I think is what set off my "this is weird" warning also. If I
were looking for the name of the company Alex works for, I would
scroll right past a link to a child's or young woman's youtube
page. It could not possibly provide me with the information I am
looking for.....unless I was snooping or just kinda fishing. The
fact that the DH actually watched the video enough to know it's
content just seems a little off to me. I am not saying that the
DH did anything wrong, just pointing out that had the DH
"confronted" or told Alex "what he found" I don't think it would
make DH look good and could make him look really quite creepy,
even though he likely did not intent to be.
[/quote]
But OP's husband had no intent to tell his friend what he saw! I
am assuming DH actually knew this woman as a child, and clicked
on her video because of this. Not creepy,in my book! I stumble
on things my friends kids have posted and yeah I check it out,
because I KNOW them. Just like OP's husband KNOWS the young
woman.
#Post#: 47656--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: Jem Date: February 20, 2020, 5:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=chigger link=topic=1636.msg47650#msg47650
date=1582237099]
[quote author=Jem link=topic=1636.msg47634#msg47634
date=1582224042]
[quote author=TeamBhakta link=topic=1636.msg47631#msg47631
date=1582222653]
[quote]
Just because you've never had the need, doesn't mean others
haven't had legitimate reasons to google a friends name. I
google my friends all the time to get their addresses.
[/quote]
I never said I haven't. The difference is I don't think about
telling someone "While I was googling you [for legit reasons or
snooping], guess what I found about a third person close to
you."
[/quote]
I think is what set off my "this is weird" warning also. If I
were looking for the name of the company Alex works for, I would
scroll right past a link to a child's or young woman's youtube
page. It could not possibly provide me with the information I am
looking for.....unless I was snooping or just kinda fishing. The
fact that the DH actually watched the video enough to know it's
content just seems a little off to me. I am not saying that the
DH did anything wrong, just pointing out that had the DH
"confronted" or told Alex "what he found" I don't think it would
make DH look good and could make him look really quite creepy,
even though he likely did not intent to be.
[/quote]
But OP's husband had no intent to tell his friend what he saw! I
am assuming DH actually knew this woman as a child, and clicked
on her video because of this. Not creepy,in my book! I stumble
on things my friends kids have posted and yeah I check it out,
because I KNOW them. Just like OP's husband KNOWS the young
woman.
[/quote]
Yes, I am confirming my belief that the OP and DH's instinct was
correct.
#Post#: 47787--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: SnappyLT Date: February 22, 2020, 9:43 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I agree with the other posters who say to not mention the video
to the young woman's father.
I just want to add that it struck me, when I read that the video
may have been made for mental health month, that the scenario on
the video may have "made up" for an educational purpose, to
promote discussion about the topic.
Note: I've never seen the video; it may indeed have been 100%
factual.
But it also could have been created to promote discussion.
I'm remembering a project I helped with, decades ago, before the
Internet became available to the public. I was working with a
group of college students who performed a series of skits about
consent and date rape. The students would act out the scenarios
they had written, then stop suddenly, turn to the audience and
get discussion going about the topic.
Maybe that sounds outdated nowadays, but back then, I remember,
it got some good discussions going.
It's possible the video you saw might have been part of a
similar sort of awareness project.
(All the more reason to stay out of it, in my own opinion.)
#Post#: 47797--------------------------------------------------
Re: Trigger warning sexual assault - Accidentally found info onl
ine
By: LifeOnPluto Date: February 23, 2020, 4:51 am
---------------------------------------------------------
In your shoes, I'd not say anything to Alex. Yeah, it's
technically a public video, but I'd feel like it wasn't my
information to share. Especially given that I don't know Alex
well, and don't know his daughter at all.
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