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#Post#: 47395--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: LurkingGurl
Date: February 15, 2020, 4:17 pm
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--- Quote from: violinp link ---
>
> Also probably factoring into this is that I'm on the spectrum,
and I'm trying to figure out if I'm a bad person for feeling
weirded out and this is a rule that I just have to accept in
life that the guest and I are both giving social lubricant to a
conversation that's purely a business transaction, or they are
just being weird for expecting me to tell them how my day is
going and how I'm feeling. Given the overwhelming responses, I'm
going to assume it's the former.
>
--- End Quote ---
You're not a bad person. But, you should probably work on
de-emotionalizing on this. It is a normal part of social
interaction in business and in other casual social interactions.
By taking it personally when it's not meant to be, you,
unfortunately end up making it about yourself. Perhaps you could
find a friend with whom you can roll play some scripts so that
it becomes automatic and not something you stop to think about
or process emotionally that makes you feel icky.
#Post#: 47401--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: pierrotlunaire0
Date: February 15, 2020, 9:14 pm
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These people do not want to have a real conversation with you.
Just as you used in your header, they are offering pleasantries,
making a simple interaction seem less robotic. Just think of it
as putting some grease on a wheel: it makes the whole process go
smoother.
I used to work at the DMV, and I could be extremely pleasant in
my interactions (really! I was!). But I was also extremely
efficient, fast, and professional. Customers did not hang around
in front of my station to chit chat. I acknowledge the
"impersonal niceness" of the professional interaction. It really
keeps things pleasant, and just as importantly, kept me from
burning out.
#Post#: 47416--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: Copper Horsewoman
Date: February 16, 2020, 12:13 pm
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I am with the "it's innocuous" camp. I am a retailer, and also
deal with lots of people on the phone, both as caller and
called. A short "How are you today?" is not something I offer
when calling, and answer the question with, "very well thank
you, and you?" but I may acknowledge a holiday, especially if I
have to call for service on said holiday. I had a minor parking
lot fender-bender on Christmas Eve one year. In calling it in to
my insurance company, I acknowledged the person on the other
line by saying I am sorry she had to work on Christmas Eve, but
I was glad I could report this quickly. As she worked through
the various menus needed to fill out the report, we chatted on
the weather (it was in my area a contributing factor), I found
she worked in a part of the country that did not experience such
weather, but she had received several calls from my area on
issue very similar, so she made me feel better about it. It did
not prolong the call, nor did it interfere with the outcome.
Made an aggravation rather more bearable.
#Post#: 47425--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: Catananche
Date: February 16, 2020, 4:30 pm
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I worked on the phones for a telecom company. (soul sucking
work) There is a practical reason for asking how someone is
doing: getting used to the voice, checking if the volume of the
phone is at the right setting for this person (not too loud, not
too soft) and making sure everything is ready to handle the
call. We usually asked for their postcode + house number first
and while the information was loading in the screen you asked
how they were doing.
#Post#: 47436--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: SioCat
Date: February 16, 2020, 8:16 pm
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I find it very weird.
Where I work, it’s almost a guarantee that those types of people
are looking for a same day appointment. Usually on the weekend.
It all seems so fake to me.
#Post#: 47451--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: February 17, 2020, 8:10 am
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I think that these customers are providing you with clues as to
the tone that they want their business to proceed. They want a
warmer, more friendly personal interaction than others who get
right down to business. If your company allows for it, I would
make the call slightly more personal than I would normal calls.
I don't think it's a requirement, but I think the customer will
hang up feeling better about the business. They have given you
permission to smile and laugh a little. I wouldn't get crazy
with the banter and would re-steer the conversation back to
business rather quickly. But to me, I always try to adjust my
customer interactions to each individual customer.
However, I can understand how this might feel weird. If most
callers don't do the pleasantries, I could see where it might
catch you off guard.
#Post#: 47469--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: lowspark
Date: February 17, 2020, 11:44 am
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I'm going to go against the tide here and say that I completely
understand your discomfort. And I had a feeling that you were
going to say it was mainly men on the other end of the line.
The conversation you transcribed was fine until the caller asked
about offending you. Once he sensed your discomfort, he should
have just gotten on with his business. But that line just smacks
of the attitude men sometimes have toward women to "just smile"
and "take compliments" etc.
I think the "how are you" question is fine and inoffensive. And
notwithstanding what I said above, I'm confident that the vast
majority of these conversations are really just an attempt at
being friendly. I worked in retail years ago and discovered that
there are a lot of lonely people who just have no one to talk
to. Either consciously or not, they find that someone in a
customer service position sort of has to talk (or listen!) to
them for at least a bit.
But I have also experienced the discomfort of a having a man
venture onto the edge, even if it's the extreme edge, of what
might be considered inappropriate, and then not back off.
What can you do? Give one word answers and continue to steer it
back to business to the best of your ability.
Me: (Welcome spiel)
Male Guest: Hi, violinp! How are you today?
Me: Fine. What can I -
MG: Happy Valentine's Day!
Me: Thanks. What can I -
MG: Oh, did I offend you?
Me: What can I help you with today?
I agree with some who say that if it just feels like friendly
banter, to go along with it a bit. But I get the feeling that
the reason you are asking about it here is that it is not
feeling like innocuous friendly banter.
#Post#: 47479--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 17, 2020, 2:53 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: SioCat link ---
>
> I find it very weird.
>
> Where I work, it’s almost a guarantee that those types of
people are looking for a same day appointment. Usually on the
weekend. It all seems so fake to me.
>
--- End Quote ---
You think wanting to treat the other person on the phone as a
human and not a bot and exchange basic pleasantries means they
are fake or wanting special treatment. That is so cynical.
I think this would be a very nice exchange:
Me: Hi, this is Hmmm, thank you for calling theater. How may I
help you?
Customer: Hi, Hmmm, how are you today?
Me: I'm well and I hope you are to.
Customer: I am, Happy Valentine's Day!
Me: Thank you and you to. How may I be of assistance?
Customer: Thank you. I'm calling to check on seating
availability for this evening.
It's called pleasantries because it's supposed to be a pleasant
exchange between two individuals. How often do we hear or read
about irate customers calling or just rude people who treat the
customer service rep as just an automated voice box. Obviously
this theater wants to give a more inviting experience for their
clients or they'd invest in a cheap solution of "please press 1
for show times".
#Post#: 47480--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: NFPwife
Date: February 17, 2020, 3:17 pm
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--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> [quote author=SioCat link=topic=1634.msg47436#msg47436
date=1581905785]
> I find it very weird.
>
> Where I work, it’s almost a guarantee that those types of
people are looking for a same day appointment. Usually on the
weekend. It all seems so fake to me.
>
--- End Quote ---
You think wanting to treat the other person on the phone as a
human and not a bot and exchange basic pleasantries means they
are fake or wanting special treatment. That is so cynical.
I think this would be a very nice exchange:
Me: Hi, this is Hmmm, thank you for calling theater. How may I
help you?
Customer: Hi, Hmmm, how are you today?
Me: I'm well and I hope you are to.
Customer: I am, Happy Valentine's Day!
Me: Thank you and you to. How may I be of assistance?
Customer: Thank you. I'm calling to check on seating
availability for this evening.
It's called pleasantries because it's supposed to be a pleasant
exchange between two individuals. How often do we hear or read
about irate customers calling or just rude people who treat the
customer service rep as just an automated voice box. Obviously
this theater wants to give a more inviting experience for their
clients or they'd invest in a cheap solution of "please press 1
for show times".
[/quote]
Yes, it's clear that the theater wants someone to answer the
phone and that's presumably to have a human interaction.
Pleasantries and chit chat are part of human interaction.
Personally, if I'm calling for something, I think just going
straight to my request is a bit abrupt. I wouldn't have said,
"Happy Valentine's Day," but I would have said, "Hi (name given)
how are you?" Then, after a response, said, "I'm calling to see
if there are still seats available for X time."
I can see tlowspark's point that sometimes it's men venturing
into the edge of being inappropriate and I think that can be
addressed in the tone of the response.
OP, I'd be careful about confirmation bias and be sure that
you're not just counting the times when men are exchanging
pleasantries.
Also, you've said that you're on the spectrum. Social
pleasantries can be hard for people on the spectrum in general
and you might not have been expecting those in what you've
classified as a "business" interaction, but be assured that
these pleasantries are normal and typical for a business
interaction. I'll suggest that you think of them not as solely
"social" pleasantries but as "human" pleasantries. When humans
are talking, socially or professionally, these are reasonable
interactions.
#Post#: 47483--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is This Weird? - Pleasantries in Phone Calls at Work
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: February 17, 2020, 3:29 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: PVZFan link ---
>
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1634.msg47479#msg47479
date=1581972796]
> [quote author=SioCat link=topic=1634.msg47436#msg47436
date=1581905785]
> I find it very weird.
>
> Where I work, it’s almost a guarantee that those types of
people are looking for a same day appointment. Usually on the
weekend. It all seems so fake to me.
>
--- End Quote ---
You think wanting to treat the other person on the phone as a
human and not a bot and exchange basic pleasantries means they
are fake or wanting special treatment. That is so cynical.
I think this would be a very nice exchange:
Me: Hi, this is Hmmm, thank you for calling theater. How may I
help you?
Customer: Hi, Hmmm, how are you today?
Me: I'm well and I hope you are to.
Customer: I am, Happy Valentine's Day!
Me: Thank you and you to. How may I be of assistance?
Customer: Thank you. I'm calling to check on seating
availability for this evening.
It's called pleasantries because it's supposed to be a pleasant
exchange between two individuals. How often do we hear or read
about irate customers calling or just rude people who treat the
customer service rep as just an automated voice box. Obviously
this theater wants to give a more inviting experience for their
clients or they'd invest in a cheap solution of "please press 1
for show times".
[/quote]
Yes, it's clear that the theater wants someone to answer the
phone and that's presumably to have a human interaction.
Pleasantries and chit chat are part of human interaction.
Personally, if I'm calling for something, I think just going
straight to my request is a bit abrupt. I wouldn't have said,
"Happy Valentine's Day," but I would have said, "Hi (name given)
how are you?" Then, after a response, said, "I'm calling to see
if there are still seats available for X time."
I can see tlowspark's point that sometimes it's men venturing
into the edge of being inappropriate and I think that can be
addressed in the tone of the response.
OP, I'd be careful about confirmation bias and be sure that
you're not just counting the times when men are exchanging
pleasantries.
Also, you've said that you're on the spectrum. Social
pleasantries can be hard for people on the spectrum in general
and you might not have been expecting those in what you've
classified as a "business" interaction, but be assured that
these pleasantries are normal and typical for a business
interaction. I'll suggest that you think of them not as solely
"social" pleasantries but as "human" pleasantries. When humans
are talking, socially or professionally, these are reasonable
interactions.
[/quote]
I really like that distinction! For me, these exchanges are on
the same level as saying Please and Thank you when working in a
professional environment. They are not intrusive or overly
familiar.
Didn't we have a discussion recently about a sales clerk asking
about weekend plans and a few thought that was overly familiar?
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