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#Post#: 46596--------------------------------------------------
Movie theater rudeness
By: betty Date: February 3, 2020, 10:14 am
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My spouse and I went to the movies the other evening. Reserved
seating (love that).
The couple next to me arrived during the previews, and were
talking at regular (not whispers) during the previews. It was
previews, so I didn't do anything.
Before the movie started, the gentleman got up and left the
theater. He returned a few minutes after the movie started, and
asked his companion, in a slightly quieter but not whispered
voice, "What did I miss?" She turned and started to explain,
also in a not-very-quiet voice.
My lizard brain took over and I touched her arm to get her
attention (since she was turned away from me). When she turned
to me I said, "Please don't talk" and went back to watching the
movie. She said, loud enough for me to hear, "We can talk." They
did talk throughout the movie but not constantly and did lower
their voices. I could hear them and it was distracting, but not
bad enough that I left the theater.
I think I was a bit rude for touching her to get her attention.
What other options did I have? Thoughts on the whole situation?
Getting up to get an usher is not an option for me: It means
I'll distract my companion and miss a good part of the movie.
#Post#: 46598--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: Victoria Date: February 3, 2020, 10:48 am
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I think I would have said "Can you please keep your voices
down?" instead of making the statement "Please don't talk," but
other than that I would say your only option is getting an
usher.
Getting an usher one time is less distracting than hearing
people talk throughout an entire movie, and missing a couple of
minutes seems to be worth it if the level of distraction became
that bad.
#Post#: 46599--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: Hmmm Date: February 3, 2020, 10:54 am
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[quote author=Victoria link=topic=1615.msg46598#msg46598
date=1580748521]
I think I would have said "Can you please keep your voices
down?" instead of making the statement "Please don't talk," but
other than that I would say your only option is getting an
usher.
Getting an usher one time is less distracting than hearing
people talk throughout an entire movie, and missing a couple of
minutes seems to be worth it if the level of distraction became
that bad.
[/quote]
There are so few employees at our theaters, leaving to get an
usher or employee would require significant amount of time.
I think in your circumstances I would have leaned toward and and
whispered "could you lower your voice".
I do not expect complete silence in a theater, there will be
some interchanges between others, but I think any more than a
couple of sentences at a time is distracting.
#Post#: 46600--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: TootsNYC Date: February 3, 2020, 10:56 am
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I think touching was not the best form, so I agree with you
there. "Excuse me" would be my first choice.
I've also taken to not issuing a direction or even a request.
("please don't...")
I try to stick with statements of the effect (I can't hear; your
conversation is distracting). Let them make the cognitive next
step (I should stop talking; I should be quieter); it'll be more
likely for them to actually do it, because THEY thought of it,
and you aren't "bossing them around."
If I do ask, I try to make it sound like a true request. People
get defensive if they feel scolded, and then they won't comply
out of cussedness.
#Post#: 46605--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: lakey Date: February 3, 2020, 12:26 pm
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Yes, touching her was not a good idea. I disagree with some who
would have suggested that the woman should lower her voice. I
don't think you should be talking at all during a movie. Even
whispering is distracting. It's not so bad if they make one
comment, but when it is ongoing conversation, even if it is
whispering, it is more than a minor annoyance. Going to the
movie theater is fairly expensive, and I don't pay for a ticket
in order to have to listen to someone in the audience. The movie
theater that I go to runs announcements before the feature
starts, telling people to not talk. The announcement doesn't
tell them to whisper, but to not talk at all. This has pretty
much solved the problem. I go to the movies one or more times a
month and I can't remember the last time I was annoyed by
someone else's behavior. The theater I go to has done a great
job of communicating to people that they need to be considerate
of others.
Years ago the talking was more of a problem, and as others have
said, there are very few employees around. Asking strangers to
not talk can lead to defensive behavior and even arguments. What
I did in the past was to move to a seat far away from them. I
could do this because most of the times the theater was far from
full. I don't go at the busiest times. Now that there is
assigned seating, if there are still a lot of empty seats, I
don't think it would be that big a deal for you to move. If it
is more crowded, or people are still coming in, that would not
work.
#Post#: 46629--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: Violet Bandit Date: February 3, 2020, 5:48 pm
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This is one of the reasons I don’t care for reserved seating.
If you get stuck next to a talker you can’t easily get up and
move. Getting up and moving was always my preferred method of
dealing with noise or some other nearby annoyance in a movie
theater. If I’m in a reserved seat I will look directly at the
offending party and say, “would you please be quiet?” It
sometimes works.
#Post#: 46636--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: Winterlight Date: February 3, 2020, 7:36 pm
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I think they were rude to be talking in the movie at all,
especially him asking her to tell him what he'd missed.
#Post#: 46645--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: HenrysMom Date: February 4, 2020, 3:35 am
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Why not get theater staff to assist? That’s what they’re there
for.
I’ve had the good fortune to not have encountered people talking
during movies in the past several years. But, one time, I was
in a theater and two (I think) drunk guys started loudly
carrying-on during the movie. Several people asked them to be
quiet, they got belligerent, then my date started into it with
them (they were right behind us by a few rows. I left and got
the manager. He arrived with two biggish guys and the drunks
were told they could leave on their own power or not, but they
were leaving the theater. It was almost a better show than the
movie (I think it was Aliens).
#Post#: 46652--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: bopper Date: February 4, 2020, 10:03 am
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I will say something like "Excuse me, could you not talk during
the movie"
and if they keep it up, I will go get an Usher
#Post#: 46656--------------------------------------------------
Re: Movie theater rudeness
By: Rose Red Date: February 4, 2020, 10:20 am
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Why isn't getting an usher an option? Isn't it better to
distract your companion and miss a few minutes of the movie
better than listening to them talk through the entire movie? If
you don't want to get an usher and miss anything, that's fine
too but I don't think there's anything else you can do except
live with it after they got defensive about it. Doing more might
make the situation worse.
And I agree that next time, don't touch and give a "gentler"
request, rather than what they interpreted as a order.
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