DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 46428--------------------------------------------------
The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 30, 2020, 7:50 am
---------------------------------------------------------
You are some of the most sensitive and caring people that I
know. So, I think that you might have some great advice on this
one. I have mentioned that I work with children in my second
job. As these kids (almost exclusively girls) enter adolescence,
body odors can begin appearing. Typically I give a general talk
about the importance of good hygiene pointing out that
deodorant, showering, and washing one's clothes is important. I
guess I have just been lucky as the problem just disappeared.
I currently have a gal (10 years old) who came a few months back
and I instantly knew the odor was coming from her. I decided to
nip it in the bud and gave my speech. She was actively listening
(smiling, nodding), so I was comfortable that she got the
message, even if she did not realize I was speaking because of
her, I was hopeful that things might improve. And it did for a
while. Then the odor returned. While I was pondering what to do,
the receptionist mentioned to me that this gal's dad came in and
had, what she described, as a wet dog smell. So to complicate
things, it sounds like her parents might not be noticing the
issue, because the family may have or not be bothered by strong
odors. And the description of dog made me question what it is
that I was smelling. I thought it might be a body odor, although
maybe it's pet smells. This kid is obviously more developed than
the others, so it certainly could be puberty related. Also, I
should mention that the kid appears to be clean. Her clothes are
not stained and her hair is well groomed.
Things were better for a few weeks, but last night was bad. I do
not have a strong nose and can handle many things, but I caught
myself gagging a few times last night. I think I need to take
further action. My concern is not my own comfort, but rather the
social consequences. None of the other kids have said or
reacted, but I fear that they will eventually. This kid is
bright, lovely, and talented... I would hate to see this be
something that keeps her away.
Any thoughts on how to handle this? I can escalate this to her
parents (probably mom over dad), but that would mean that I
likely need to bring this to my boss's attention. She has a
history of taking small issues like this and blowing them up
into huge things. (Although I do know that she knows of the
odor, because she commented to the receptionist who shared it
with me.) So, I am trying to come up with the most sensitive,
polite, caring way to help this kid out.
#Post#: 46436--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: Chez Miriam Date: January 30, 2020, 9:18 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I know of a friend's daughter who has some kind of medical
condition [can't remember for the life of me; we lost touch
years ago], and she had a fishy sort-of smell which was
something to do with the condition [couldn't break down a type
of food or vitamin?].
I'm only saying that because not all smells relate to poor
hygiene...
I live in a home that we are struggling with damp, so am aware
that sometimes clothes unworn for a while will have that
'mushroomy' smell of probably-invisible-mildew; I wash a lot of
unworn clothes. :'(
When you are living in damp conditions, you don't smell it [you
become "nose blind"], so is it possible that the 'wet dog' smell
could be damp/mildew?
If she and her clothes look clean [especially if you get a whiff
of detergent/shampoo/deodorant], it could be that she lives in
substandard housing, and the family are doing their best.
Sorry, I don't have any real answers about addressing this
issue, but hope you find a solution...
#Post#: 46439--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: AnnNottingham Date: January 30, 2020, 9:34 am
---------------------------------------------------------
If you have to go through your boss, is there a "grand-boss" you
can also bring into the meeting to keep Boss from mushrooming
this into a big deal? Or a co-worker you trust?
#Post#: 46441--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: Chez Miriam Date: January 30, 2020, 9:53 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=guihong link=topic=1612.msg46439#msg46439
date=1580398479]
If you have to go through your boss, is there a "grand-boss" you
can also bring into the meeting to keep Boss from mushrooming
this into a big deal? Or a co-worker you trust?
[/quote]
Or even Human Resources or a Guidance Counsellor - someone
trained on the minutiae that the rest of us know little about?
Edited because "us" has an s, not a w.
#Post#: 46448--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 30, 2020, 10:38 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I figured someone would mention the possibility of this being a
medical condition. Yes, that is totally possible; I really do
not know. This is all the more reason that I would like to
address it with great care.
My nose is not the greatest, but I do not smell damp. (I smell a
body odor; I might describe it as fishy.) However, like I
mentioned, my coworker said that dad had an animal smell, so
anything is possible. And it is totally possible that the family
is doing the best that they can. But I do feel some
responsibility in addressing this, as they are likely “nose
blind” and have no idea that others are smelling them.
This is a small business, so no grandboss, HR, or counselor to
seek help from (all thoughtful ideas, though.) I could pull the
receptionist into this, although I don’t think that she quite
has the tack that I am looking for. She has been my
soundingboard (as she mentioned the scent to me, which confirmed
that it wasn’t in my imagination), but she seems to take on the
stance that it is awful that anyone smells… not quite the tone
that I am wanting.
#Post#: 46450--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: bopper Date: January 30, 2020, 10:51 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Could you call the parents and talk to them?
"As you know, i work with a number of girls at <company> and
those girls often transition into puberty while they attend our
<business>. Because of that we often have the discussion of the
need to shower, wash hair, wash clothes, and use deodorant. I
have had that discussion with your daughter and all of her
cohort. I am calling today, however, because I am noticing a
body odor coming from her...I know this is super awkward to
discuss, but Janie is so lovely I don't want her to have social
ramifications with her peers because of smell. I understand
sometimes medical issues are a factor...but we just love having
Janie with us and want the best for her. Do you think you could
work with her on this?"
#Post#: 46451--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: Kimberami Date: January 30, 2020, 10:59 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I remember that when DD was about 10, we encountered some
serious BO issues. Her family may not notice it because she is
fresh & clean in the morning before school. By the time you see
her, she's had time to get sweaty from PE or recess.
This is my other thought (but it's a little gross): It might be
her period. If she either doesn't have the products or the
understanding to change her product often, then she'd definitely
have a smell about her. That would explain why it comes and
goes.
As for dad, I have a thought about that. To me, long unwashed
denim will get a smell that I would describe as wet dog. If he's
wearing a denim jumpsuit, coat, or jeans, then I would say that
that would be the problem. Yes, I think people do get nose-blind
to it.
#Post#: 46453--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: Kimberami Date: January 30, 2020, 11:07 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Chez Miriam link=topic=1612.msg46436#msg46436
date=1580397516]
I live in a home that we are struggling with damp, so am aware
that sometimes clothes unworn for a while will have that
'mushroomy' smell of probably-invisible-mildew; I wash a lot of
unworn clothes. :'(
[/quote]
Totally off topic, but have you ever tried these things?
HTML https://www.amazon.com/DampRid-Hanging-Fresh-16-Ounce-3-Pack/dp/B072LN492H
We had a similar problem, and hanging these in the closets
worked like a charm.
#Post#: 46456--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: Chez Miriam Date: January 30, 2020, 11:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Kimpossible link=topic=1612.msg46453#msg46453
date=1580404072]
[quote author=Chez Miriam link=topic=1612.msg46436#msg46436
date=1580397516]
I live in a home that we are struggling with damp, so am aware
that sometimes clothes unworn for a while will have that
'mushroomy' smell of probably-invisible-mildew; I wash a lot of
unworn clothes. :'(
[/quote]
Totally off topic, but have you ever tried these things?
HTML https://www.amazon.com/DampRid-Hanging-Fresh-16-Ounce-3-Pack/dp/B072LN492H
We had a similar problem, and hanging these in the closets
worked like a charm.
[/quote]
No, but now I feel like an idiot for not thinking about such a
thing!
Thank you for mentioning, I will add to the shopping list.
Another thought I had: dental hygiene - could it be she doesn't
know how to floss properly? A friend's husband smelt bad, and
it took me a while to realise it was halitosis. As I was pretty
good at avoiding him anyway*, it didn't bother me too badly.
She said [decades later] that he got an absolute rollicking from
the hygienist, and was much more fragrant after that.
* If you make a pass at someone, and they tell you "Heck NO!",
take the hint... Don't keep trying, and most certainly don't
get handsy! >:(
#Post#: 46477--------------------------------------------------
Re: The Super Lovely, But Rather Smelly Kid
By: katiekat2009 Date: January 30, 2020, 6:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Had this problem with my 11 year old granddaughter a few days
ago. She had just taken a shower but I could smell underarm odor
(thinking maybe she didn't wash well?). I just handed her a tube
off deoderant and said "use this". She said, "Do I smell?" I
said, "I smell something. It may be something you ate." She used
it and all was fine.
I wouldn't go to parent first. Pull girl aside and say,
"Remember the talk I gave about hygiene?" I smelled a little
underarm odor from you the other day, so use this and see if it
helps." (Hand her container of deoderant.) That's all. Don't
make a big deal and embarrass her.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page