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#Post#: 46017--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: oogyda Date: January 22, 2020, 5:44 pm
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That has always been my thinking as well.
Now, there are reasons that might come along that I would send
someone into my bedroom* or where I might be sent into someone
else's bedroom, but it is never considered open territory.
*When my whole family; DDs and their family's, mom, sis, etc.
are here, I instruct everyone to feel free to use our ensuite
bathroom. Even then, the grandkids always ask first.
#Post#: 46022--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: Winterlight Date: January 22, 2020, 6:03 pm
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I don't go into anyone's bedroom unless I'm invited or there's a
very good reason to be in there- for example, I dogsit, and was
looking for a toilet plunger recently. I had to go through their
bedroom to their bathroom to find one. Outside of situations
like that, I stay out.
#Post#: 46073--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: Igoreete Date: January 23, 2020, 7:34 pm
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I've felt uncomfortable going into the bedrooms of an occupied
house I was inspecting prior to buying or renting, especially
the closets. It felt like such an invasion of their privacy.
#Post#: 46074--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: Mara Jade Date: January 23, 2020, 7:49 pm
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I also wouldn't go into a bedroom without express permission. I
had to declare my entire upstairs private to my mother in law
after she
1. Opened the closed door to my bedroom while I was getting
changed, while we had guests in the house (My husband was
hosting, I was getting the kids a bath and ready for bed)
2. Told me the reason my daughter wouldn't clean her room was
because I was so messy.
3. Then my daughter (5 at the time? 6?) told me the same thing.
She still came upstairs a couple of times while we were hosting
and I was getting the kids ready for bed, but she stays
downstairs now. I get wanting to see the kids, but I'll send
them down to her if I can.
So yeah, no upstairs for Grandma, and I wouldn't go into other
peoples' bedrooms (or any room with a closed door) without
permission first.
#Post#: 46369--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 29, 2020, 1:08 pm
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If a host has not introduced me to a room, then I would not go
in there. So I would consider a den, library, family room, ect.
that the host did not offer for my hospitality to be off limits.
This would go double for a bedroom. If I was closer to the host,
say a very good friend, and we had previously gathered there, I
*might* be more comfortable going in such a room, but probably
never a bedroom.
However, I agree that it was not MIL's place to provide a tour
to anyone. It might be appropriate for her to ask, but even then
I would think that she is overstepping boundaries a bit.
I once had a boyfriend who had a key to my apartment. He knew
that he was welcome there even if I was not. One day he stopped
into the apartment with a friend of his when I was not home. I
don't know if they went into my bedroom, but this felt like a
violation of my trust. The key was meant to allow him and only
him in.
#Post#: 46420--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: Chez Miriam Date: January 30, 2020, 4:56 am
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1601.msg46369#msg46369
date=1580324934]
If a host has not introduced me to a room, then I would not go
in there. So I would consider a den, library, family room, ect.
that the host did not offer for my hospitality to be off limits.
This would go double for a bedroom. If I was closer to the host,
say a very good friend, and we had previously gathered there, I
*might* be more comfortable going in such a room, but probably
never a bedroom.
However, I agree that it was not MIL's place to provide a tour
to anyone. It might be appropriate for her to ask, but even then
I would think that she is overstepping boundaries a bit.
I once had a boyfriend who had a key to my apartment. He knew
that he was welcome there even if I was not. One day he stopped
into the apartment with a friend of his when I was not home. I
don't know if they went into my bedroom, but this felt like a
violation of my trust. The key was meant to allow him and only
him in.
[/quote]
In the other thread I posted that I love house tours (which I
do), but I would never consider going into a bedroom without the
express instruction to do so from the homeowner, so I think
DaDancingPsych sums it up perfectly for me.
The only exception to that is my mum's room: she sends me up
there to look for things so often, and that is where we used to
sleep when visiting that it was "our room" for the duration.
Now, we sleep in the caravan, so it would revert to 'only when
told to'.
I close my bedroom door whenever we have workmen, but would tidy
the room to 'guest ready' if we were to have guests, as if they
would like to see it, I'm happy to show them - but not when it's
the 'nuclear family only'* level of untidy that I have currently
achieved!
* So that would just be my husband and I.
#Post#: 46651--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: NewHomeowner Date: February 4, 2020, 9:29 am
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I think I would clarify that ALL rooms with closed doors are
private. Dens, bathrooms, bedrooms. If the bathroom door is
closed, either it's being used or out of bounds. Once that door
is open(if someone finishes in there), then it's open again.
Now, if you're the kind of person who keeps the bathroom door
closed (nothing wrong with that), then put a 'please knock
first' sign on the door, or at least let your guests know.
Otherwise, if I'm in someone else's house, every closed door is
a door that I Do Not Enter.
#Post#: 46657--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: TootsNYC Date: February 4, 2020, 10:23 am
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I believe that even if a bedroom door is open, it's still
off-limits. I don't think people should have to run around
closing all the doors in their home just because they have
visitors.
#Post#: 46733--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: bopper Date: February 5, 2020, 10:36 am
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no no no Bedroom's are off limits unless expressly invited in!
#Post#: 46739--------------------------------------------------
Re: How private are bedrooms?
By: TootsNYC Date: February 5, 2020, 11:20 am
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(but yes, if the door to any room that isn't a bathroom is
closed, you don't go in there)
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