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#Post#: 45909--------------------------------------------------
Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the way!
By: Raintree Date: January 20, 2020, 4:36 pm
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From time to time this happens:
Today I was backing out of a parking stall. There was a delivery
truck behind me so it was tight, but no biggie. No other moving
traffic in the parking lot. I'm glancing in front and behind as
I always do in these situations, to make sure my front and rear
are not going to hit anything. It was just going to take one
extra reverse-and-forward vs just a normal backing out. I was
not having difficulty.
Then I glance back and suddenly there's this guy in an orange
vest (from an unrelated nearby work crew) standing RIGHT behind
by vehicle, waving and motioning to try to help me. It surprised
me; also, he was in my way as I could have backed up more if he
hadn't been standing there. Then he walks around the driver's
side door motioning some more, while I was trying to swing out
that way. I wasn't looking at him; I was looking in my mirror to
see where the side of my vehicle was. I tried to wave him away
but he persisted, and then I shouted through the closed window,
"I'M FINE!!!!"
Not the first time I've been doing some normal manouevring in my
vehicle and had some guy leap out from nowhere and start making
motions and getting in my way (interestingly, it's never a woman
doing this). Am I alone in finding this super annoying?
I have eyes. I have a neck that turns fully. I have mirrors. And
I have 37 years of accident-free driving in a traffic-choked
city behind me. Are some guys assuming that women are just not
capable of shuffling cars in tight spaces without their help?
And I guess I was kind of rude, but you don't always think in
the moment. Next time I shall just roll down my window and say,
"Thanks, but I've got this. I just need you to move out of the
way, please."
#Post#: 45917--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: Annabellaustralia Date: January 20, 2020, 7:24 pm
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Your final statement is the best way to handle such encounters.
I have several similar stories - and are almost always instances
of well meaning men trying to help!
Mine differ somewhat because I've only been driving solo for a
year (licenced at the ripe old age of 35 ;D ) - which means I
have to wear 'P' plates, to show my provisional driver status -
so this means that a LOT of people feel the need to comment on
my driving/maneuvering, both inside and outside the car. What
many of these people don't realise though, is that the day after
I started driving on my own, I was given a company car and am
expected to travel regionally - often up to 1000 kilometres a
week, so I've had PLENTY of opportunity to practice (and when I
don't know exactly what to do, I generally check with one of my
colleagues soon after, so I don't get caught out again).
Actually, I taught myself to reverse park watching a particular
youtube video :o ;D
Anyway, I think you do right - and believe that this issue in
unlikely to go away, for ither of us - although the same people
may not repeat the performance!
#Post#: 45933--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: TootsNYC Date: January 21, 2020, 10:21 am
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(what's the YouTube video?)
I hate being distracted, and I frankly don't trust other people
to communicate clearly, or to use the same paradigm I do.
I *have* had someone stand off to the side holding their hands
up to indicate the space left behind my vehicle and moving them
as my car moved--that was helpful, when it occurred.
But them telling me when to turn, or where to drive to? It's
just too complicated and it confuses me.
I have said to someone, "I'm sorry, you're distracting me. Could
you step aside? I'll be fine, even if I am slow."
I'm starting to get used to my new backup camera (in the past, I
found THEM confusing, but now that I have one daily--and it
seems to be more in line with my own brain somehow--I'm a tiny
bit more comfortable.
I have also just shaken my head and waved them away.
#Post#: 45935--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: Hmmm Date: January 21, 2020, 10:31 am
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I agree that the first thing to do when you see someone in your
way would be to roll down the window and say "thanks, but you
are actually in my way."
And I'm a female and I have seen drivers trying to back out of
tight spots and I've stood to the side to indicate how much
distance they have left. But with so many rear vehicle cameras,
I seldom do that any more.
There are places in Mexico where I visit where the norm is to
have a parking attendant who acts as a traffic stopper and a
spotter to assist in both private parking lots and public
streets. You tip them a few pesos for their efforts. I wonder if
the more "insistent" helpers are used to having someone do that
for them?
#Post#: 45938--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: lowspark Date: January 21, 2020, 10:55 am
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1596.msg45933#msg45933
date=1579623682]
I frankly don't trust other people to communicate clearly, or to
use the same paradigm I do.
[/quote]
This. The only time I've had this happen is in a situation where
they actually do need to tell me when to stop, such as when I'm
pulling into the JiffyLube and have to hit the mark on the bay
which I can't see.
But otherwise? No.
Personally, I would put my car into park, open the door, and
physically stand up so that they can see me and then say,
"Thanks for the offer but I'm much better off if I can do this
without help." And then I'd stand there until they were
completely out of my sight.
Honestly, why would you assume I need help that I didn't ask
for? And yes, I'm sure it's a male who is sure he knows better
than a female thing. Ugh.
#Post#: 45945--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: NFPwife Date: January 21, 2020, 2:29 pm
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[quote author=lowspark link=topic=1596.msg45938#msg45938
date=1579625759]
... And yes, I'm sure it's a male who is sure he knows better
than a female thing. Ugh.
[/quote]
I've had it happen to me and just ignored the person, who was a
man each and every time. I wish I would have said, "I've got
this! Thank you!" though. Ironically, the person who taught me
the "trick" to parallel parking was a woman.
I had a man at the gym the other night ready to approach me with
help. I made my face really unfriendly and ignored his attempts
to get my attention by getting into my visual field. (I'd
changed the attachments on a pulley to my preferred set-up. He
was doing a similar exercise with a rope. He had picked up the
rope, that I'd just detached, and was holding it and raised it a
little to get my attention. I'm sure he was going to instruct me
on using the rope. I did the intense ignoring and was prepared
to say, "This is my preferred set-up," if he persisted. He
dropped the rope, literally, when he couldn't get my attention.)
#Post#: 45947--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: Kimberami Date: January 21, 2020, 3:07 pm
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I'd rather depend on my own abilities. No one else is going to
pay for any accidents that may be caused by their help.
#Post#: 45948--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: oogyda Date: January 21, 2020, 3:17 pm
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Argggghhh!!!
I get this sometimes, too. I thought it's because I'm usually
driving a full size pick-up. I know how big my truck is. I
know where I can take it. I know what I can do within a certain
space because I have very good spacial awareness.
I've had someone step in front of me to stop me from going
between 2 vehicles that weren't going to be moving anytime soon
to tell me to back up and go around. I told him to get out of
my way because I can easily make it through. When I did indeed
pass between the vehicles, I checked the rearview mirror and
that "gentleman" expressed his admiration. I smiled and waved.
#Post#: 45950--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: Songbird Date: January 21, 2020, 3:23 pm
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If I need help judging how much space I've got, I'll ask. but I
drive a compact car, so I usually don't have a problem. I wold
have been annoyed, too.
#Post#: 46015--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unsolicited parking/manouevring help - just get out of the w
ay!
By: Hanna Date: January 22, 2020, 5:18 pm
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I had something similar happen recently, on my daily commute
home.
There are two turn lanes on to a road that quickly turns into
one lane, because the left one becomes a left turn only lane. So
if you aren’t in the right lane, you are doomed to get stuck in
the left trying to get over.
Man in front of me was furiously motioning to me to move into
the left lane. It seemed terribly important to him and he even
seemed angry that I was not following his instructions. No dude,
I’m good. I drive this way 5 times a week. Ugh!
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