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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 2451--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: Mr Wigglybones
Date: May 20, 2018, 8:12 am
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I'm not sure there really is a right or wrong answer to this,
not without having other specific scenarios factored in.
For example
If the kids wanted to visit the grandparents but couldn't afford
it and mum pays for it? Mums money.
Mum wants the kids to come up to visit the family? Not-so mums
money.
In this particular case with the details provided, I suppose the
nice thing to do would be for it to be split.
While the parents paid for the trip, time is valuable and an
airport is not a particularly nice place to be. Asking for the
whole $800 back would be akin to calling the kids up to say you
have rearranged their travel plans last minute to take a longer
trip so you could reclaim some of the money back.
#Post#: 2460--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: NyaChan
Date: May 20, 2018, 9:06 am
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My parents often pay for flights. They do it because they want
to encourage me to come more often and take away any excuse that
it is expensive to make the trip. I was actually in this
position last year, something like $600 was offered. I
ultimately decided not to take it, and when I mentioned it to my
Dad he initially said I should have so I’d have extra spending
money on the trip. He assumed that the money would have been
mine to keep and use.
If I had taken it, I would have offered it to my parents to
reimburse for the original tickets, and I am 100% sure that
barring unforeseen financial difficulty, they would have told me
to keep it.
I don’t think it would be wrong for the parent to request the
money back, but personally I’d let it be a little windfall for
the child who waited the extra time in order to get the money.
#Post#: 2472--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: Gellchom
Date: May 20, 2018, 10:15 am
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--- Quote from: TootsNYC link ---
>
> [quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=150.msg2346#msg2346
date=1526779023]
>
> Just for fun. If you purchased them lotto tickets and they
won big, is it your money or theirs?
>
--- End Quote ---
For that, there’s no question. That’s a gift.
But it is possible to think of “travel expenses to visit
Grandpa” to be considered “family expenses” and not a gift.
I’m SO glad this was hypothetical and I don’t actually have to
wrestle with this.
There are other thing that would make it harder for me to just
st let the money go: neither has any income of their own; their
tickets were expensive partly because I had to wait to be sure
they could go and partly because they didn’t want to come out
earlier and be bored; I did all the work of planning the trip;
getting the gift card was my idea; they would have only swapped
sitting in one airport for another so the inconvenience would be
negligible.
Depending on the amount they got, I think I’d lean toward some
sort of split. Maybe I’d ask them to reimburse me for the extra
that their tickets cost by not coming with me, since that was a
benefit to them and a major pain to me. And I’d use that to ease
the hotel cost.
Flight vouchers would be theirs, even if only because you can’t
spend them on a hotel.
[/quote]
I don’t know that there’s any “should” about this one way or
another. A bonanza is a bonanza, and the worst problem any of
us should ever have is whether or how to divide it! It’s not
something that anyone was planning on in the first place.
I don’t think it’s like a lottery ticket, because the whole
point of a lottery ticket is a chance of winning money. The gift
of a lottery ticket is the chance to win that money. But the
gift of an airplane ticket is the gift of travel expenses, not
the gift of a chance of getting a bonus for being bumped.
In my family, this is probably how it would go down. Almost
always, either we or my mother pay for travel for our adult
children for family events and vacations, and my mother even
pays for my brother and me and our husbands. So it would
totally make sense to us to use the money for other expenses of
the trip, or for the next trip. Therefore, if the money came in
the form of a check or credit card or something like that, or
transferable voucher toward future travel, I would just assume
we would give it to whoever had paid for the tickets in the
first place, or I guess just hang on to it and the next person
who needs it for travel for family events uses it, which may
even be the same person anyway. I mean, as the ones who paid
are the ones who will be paying for the next family trip as
well, it really doesn’t make all that much difference: either
way, the young generation that took the bump is going to get the
benefit of it.
In our family, it would probably just feel sort of like family
money, so it really wouldn’t make a great big difference whose
bank account it would be in. I imagine that what would happen
would be that the travelers would call and ask should they take
the later flight and the money, and if it didn’t mess up all the
travel plans, the answer would be “yes, and treat yourself to a
really good meal while you’re waiting or other treat and charge
it to me.”
In other families, that would not be the case, and that’s
perfectly fine, too. Neither way is wrong.
I guess that’s what’s making this a tricky question, because
there really isn’t a one size fits all families and all
situations rule. Lucky thing this is just hypothetical for you!
#Post#: 2478--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: Bada
Date: May 20, 2018, 10:30 am
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I kinda lean towards "the kids are inconvenienced, they should
get something." But twice you've thrown out (and no one has
picked up on) that their trip involves multiple legs so if
they're bumped from this flight, they spend more time in
Airport1 but less in Airport2 )than originally planned) and they
still ultimately depart from Airport2 on their originally
scheduled flight. In that case it seems like the money should be
yours since they've already agreed to the overall length of the
trip and this doesn't really change things.
#Post#: 2588--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: Reaver
Date: May 20, 2018, 4:35 pm
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I dunno, sounds a bit crummy if it's YOUR idea that they stay,
and then when they get there are the one to receive the reward
from doing so, :-\
#Post#: 2804--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: May 21, 2018, 11:32 am
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--- Quote from: thebushiestbeaver link ---
>
> I don't think it would even occur to my parents to ask for all
or even a share of any voucher or money in this situation. If
they had paid for a flight for me I'd already be taking them out
for dinner as a thank you, and in this case I'd probably go a
little higher end as a treat for all of us.
>
> You said it's a weird situation cause your kids "aren't really
grown ups but they are". This strikes me as a really odd thing
to say. They are both most definitely grown ups. This is
anecdotal of course, but at 24 I had been living in a different
city than my parents for 6 years, worked my way through uni,
traveled and lived in different countries around the world, had
a string of serious relationships, lived with and split up with
a boyfriend of 5 years, and met my future husband right before
turning 25. It would be really strange for my mum to consider me
"not really grown up" at that point.
>
--- End Quote ---
There are lots of people who aren't really grown ups at 24. I
would give the parent of the 24 year old the benefit of the
doubt as to whether in their opinion their child is a grown up
or not. There are also many who are more grown up than those
older than themselves.
I think the person who paid for the tickets should allow the
person who is using the tickets the decision of whether or not
they want to be bumped and if they choose to do so, the
travellers are the ones who should get the voucher as they are
the ones being inconvenienced. And hopefully they will express
their gratitude for both the original tickets and the
opportunity to make another flight, hopefully to visit the
ticket buyers again!
#Post#: 3314--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: GardenGal
Date: May 23, 2018, 5:34 pm
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Since it was your suggestion that your kids allow themselves to
be bumped so that they got some kind of cash/voucher/gift card
bonus, I think it's up to them to accept the bump and keep what
they get because it sounds like you worded this as a benefit for
them. If they had come up with this idea on their own, I would
hope they offer to split whatever reward they got, but I
wouldn't expect them to do so.
#Post#: 3323--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: May 23, 2018, 6:02 pm
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--- Quote from: Mr Wigglybones link ---
>
> ...Asking for the whole $800 back would be akin to calling the
kids up to say you have rearranged their travel plans last
minute to take a longer trip so you could reclaim some of the
money back.
>
--- End Quote ---
Well, in this specific case, they wouldn't have a longer trip;
they'd just sit in Originating Airport A instead of Connecting
Airport B.
But since it's all hypothetical, you're right--it's their time.
I think if it was their time, I'd feel less entitled to the
money.
But if it was the same amount of time, just a different airport,
and I was the one who suggested they do it, and I bought the
tickets, I'd feel more like some of it was mine.
#Post#: 3324--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: TootsNYC
Date: May 23, 2018, 6:08 pm
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--- Quote from: Pattycake link ---
>
> [quote author=thebushiestbeaver link=topic=150.msg2744#msg2744
date=1526900376]
> I don't think it would even occur to my parents to ask for all
or even a share of any voucher or money in this situation. If
they had paid for a flight for me I'd already be taking them out
for dinner as a thank you, and in this case I'd probably go a
little higher end as a treat for all of us.
>
> You said it's a weird situation cause your kids "aren't really
grown ups but they are". This strikes me as a really odd thing
to say. They are both most definitely grown ups. This is
anecdotal of course, but at 24 I had been living in a different
city than my parents for 6 years, worked my way through uni,
traveled and lived in different countries around the world, had
a string of serious relationships, lived with and split up with
a boyfriend of 5 years, and met my future husband right before
turning 25. It would be really strange for my mum to consider me
"not really grown up" at that point.
>
--- End Quote ---
There are lots of people who aren't really grown ups at 24. I
would give the parent of the 24 year old the benefit of the
doubt as to whether in their opinion their child is a grown up
or not. There are also many who are more grown up than those
older than themselves.
[/quote]
Thanks, Pattycake. That's what I was alluding to; age makes
someone technically a grownup, but independence and
self-sufficiency and taking agency make someone a grownup
regardless of their age.
#Post#: 3427--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
DIR By: bopper
Date: May 24, 2018, 12:56 pm
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On the one hand, I would say you get the cost of the ticket and
they get anything over it?
On the other hand, I think that if you are paying for them to
visit your Dad, it is because you want to encourage that
behavior and them getting a bonus is only a bonus.
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