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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 1850--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: TootsNYC Date: May 18, 2018, 12:59 pm
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ooh, that's an interesting framework--that the tickets are a
gift.
If it were a travel voucher, this wouldn't actually be a
question, because the travel voucher would probably be in their
name, and the decision would be made by the airline. And I would
think of it as totally theirs anyway, even if the travel boucher
had a "fill in the name" blank on it.
But it would probably be a gift card, which is more fungible.
Though I suppose that if I just stuck my fingers in my ears and
closed my eyes and PRETENDED it was a travel voucher, that would
be the final answer.
(Just to note: I have no idea what my final decision would be. I
have this instinctive reaction that some of it should be mine,
or go toward some of the other cash expenses of the trip, but
not all. All these comments are really interesting.)
#Post#: 1860--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: guest126 Date: May 18, 2018, 1:25 pm
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[quote author=Susiqzer link=topic=150.msg1819#msg1819
date=1526663418]
If I were the adult child, I would see it as a family bonus and
offer it up toward trip expenses. Maybe you could do something
in your destination that seemed too expensive otherwise, or have
a great family dinner or something. Use it to make a memory!
That said, I'm sure my mom would try to stop me from spending it
on her, because that's how she rolls. :)
[/quote]
This. I've been in this situation before, almost. When I was a
poor grad student, my parents paid for my travel to visit them
on breaks. Since I went through the disaster that is the
Atlanta airport, I was on overbooked flights a few times. I
always volunteered, since getting to Tennessee now or in 3 hours
from now didn't really matter. (Give me a Starbucks coffee, a
book and a seat and I'm fine in an airport for a few hours.)
Never got picked.
I know for a fact if I would have been picked and gotten a
voucher, I would have offered it to my mother, since they paid.
I also know she would have turned around and tried to give it
back, since I was a poor student. And we probably would have
compromised by saying I'd use the voucher for my next flight.
;D
If it would have been a gift card, I would have given it over to
them after a long argument. And maybe as a present for
Christmas. LOL!
#Post#: 2053--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: Take2 Date: May 18, 2018, 8:57 pm
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But if you use the gift cards to pay for groceries, and the
equivalent cash to pay off your credit card...it's basically the
same thing.
I would probably split the voucher if it was cash, figuring the
inconvenience was shared so the compensation should be as well.
And if the voucher was for travel, I would ask that they use it
for travel to a family event or travel home or something
equivalent.
#Post#: 2346--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: MOM21SON Date: May 19, 2018, 8:17 pm
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I think since you purchased the tickets, it was a gift and they
can keep it. For the record, I would offer it to my parent.
Just for fun. If you purchased them lotto tickets and they won
big, is it your money or theirs?
#Post#: 2361--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: Magenta Date: May 19, 2018, 9:02 pm
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I think you should get the money back for the ticket and any
surplus would go to them to buy some food or entertainment/treat
for their wait time.
#Post#: 2400--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: guest158 Date: May 19, 2018, 10:13 pm
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You paid for their flights. As long as they still took flights,
then you got what you paid for. They suffered the
inconvenience, so they keep the money.
That said, if they wanted to spend the money on, say, a family
Dinner, that would be nice. But certainly no obligation to do
that.
#Post#: 2416--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: guest264 Date: May 19, 2018, 11:19 pm
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I think it needs to be made clear that you expect them to give
you the card. I know that if I were going to be inconvenienced
with a flight bump, I'd be salty if my mom requested I give her
the perk for accepting a delay.
It reminds me of when I would take my mom along to the casino
with me as company for the drive. I would then toss her a few
dollars to play with since it was my idea to go. When she wins,
she will sometimes buy dinner or something but I would never
expect her to give me the money. Once I give someone something,
if they make some money on the side from it, it's not mine to
claim.
#Post#: 2444--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: TootsNYC Date: May 20, 2018, 7:22 am
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[quote author=MOM21SON link=topic=150.msg2346#msg2346
date=1526779023]
Just for fun. If you purchased them lotto tickets and they won
big, is it your money or theirs?
[/quote]
For that, there’s no question. That’s a gift.
But it is possible to think of “travel expenses to visit
Grandpa” to be considered “family expenses” and not a gift.
I’m SO glad this was hypothetical and I don’t actually have to
wrestle with this.
There are other thing that would make it harder for me to just
st let the money go: neither has any income of their own; their
tickets were expensive partly because I had to wait to be sure
they could go and partly because they didn’t want to come out
earlier and be bored; I did all the work of planning the trip;
getting the gift card was my idea; they would have only swapped
sitting in one airport for another so the inconvenience would be
negligible.
Depending on the amount they got, I think I’d lean toward some
sort of split. Maybe I’d ask them to reimburse me for the extra
that their tickets cost by not coming with me, since that was a
benefit to them and a major pain to me. And I’d use that to ease
the hotel cost.
Flight vouchers would be theirs, even if only because you can’t
spend them on a hotel.
#Post#: 2445--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: SioCat Date: May 20, 2018, 7:28 am
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I wouldn't expect the vouchers/gift cards. I wasn't expecting
anything when buying the tickets and I'm not the one
inconvenienced. I also couldn't see myself accepting the
vouchers/gift cards, especially if my child didn't have their
own income.
#Post#: 2449--------------------------------------------------
Re: who gets the money--me, or the kids?
By: Elle Kruger Date: May 20, 2018, 7:48 am
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First post!
I think the money is yours. You’re the one bankrolling the
entire trip. It would be nice if you offered to give them part
of the refund, but not mandatory. They wouldn’t be in the
airport in the first place if you hadn’t paid for their tickets.
Of course, I’m coming at this from a “mom” point of view, so my
opinion is probably not very unbiased.
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