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#Post#: 45110--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: Star Wars Fan Date: January 8, 2020, 2:29 am
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If I knew for sure it wouldn't cause too much drama yes I would
drop a hint to somebody that they should send a thank you for a
gift given or a favor done or whatever.
Ed.
#Post#: 45118--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: Dazi Date: January 8, 2020, 5:18 am
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While it's appropriate for cousin to send a thank you card or at
least call and say thank you, she is a new mom. I think we
sometimes need to make allowances and "new Mommy brain" is one
of them.
#Post#: 45132--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: Chez Miriam Date: January 8, 2020, 7:27 am
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[quote author=Dazi link=topic=1482.msg45118#msg45118
date=1578482287]
While it's appropriate for cousin to send a thank you card or at
least call and say thank you, she is a new mom. I think we
sometimes need to make allowances and "new Mommy brain" is one
of them.
[/quote]
True, but sometimes the making allowances might be to remind the
new mum that she'd garner fewer odd looks if she changed out of
her stained nightdress and brushed her hair before leaving the
house...
Could this be one of those instances where she might be
delighted to be gently reminded that she ordinarily is prompt
with her "thank yous" and that MIL is taking offence - heading
off that the pass any deterioration of their relationship?
NewMum then might remember to nudge NewDad to get some photo
Thank You cards printed up and sent out?
I wouldn't like to say either way what I would do - I know one
new mum who would have been mortified to have forgotten, and one
who would have bitten anyone's head off for suggesting that she
should show any gratitude. Without knowing the personalities, I
would err on the side of caution, like the "once bitten, twice
shy" posters above!
#Post#: 45150--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: TootsNYC Date: January 8, 2020, 9:05 am
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[quote author=Dazi link=topic=1482.msg45118#msg45118
date=1578482287]
While it's appropriate for cousin to send a thank you card or at
least call and say thank you, she is a new mom. I think we
sometimes need to make allowances and "new Mommy brain" is one
of them.
[/quote]
Well, there was also a gift to her sister, who is not a new mom
and who also didn't thank my MIL and FIL.
I think my MIL and FIL, who have been very generous with their
family (they are the ones who left the old country and "made
it"), and are starting to think that perhaps they're being taken
for granted.
#Post#: 45216--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: Jayhawk Date: January 9, 2020, 12:36 pm
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[quote author=oogyda link=topic=1482.msg45081#msg45081
date=1578442444]
[quote author=Runningstar link=topic=1482.msg45074#msg45074
date=1578435163]
I've learned the hard way (and it took way too many times!) to
just keep silent. Unless you are my actual child, or maybe
husband, I just bite my tongue.
[/quote]
I saw that and can't believe someone already posted my thoughts.
Nope. Just don't. No matter how well intentioned you may
be...…….just butt out.
[/quote]
Yeah - I've learned the same lesson. everyone gets mad at the
message-bearer.
#Post#: 45219--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: RubyCat Date: January 9, 2020, 2:12 pm
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I think this is really one of those situations in which it
depends on the temperament of the person and how well you know
them. I know some people who would be offended at a reminder.
But then, I think of myself when I was younger and how much the
guidance of others helped me build and strengthen relationships
by gently reminding me to write notes and make calls. I wanted
to do the right thing but was often so busy that I would either
keep putting off things like writing notes or it had not yet
occurred to me.
#Post#: 45248--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: oogyda Date: January 10, 2020, 6:47 am
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How would you present it?
One way tells them you think they are generally lacking in
social graces and need to be reminded of such things.
Another way tell them that MIL, FIL and you are speaking poorly
of them behind their backs.
Put all the pretty icing on it that you want, but they may
eventually figure out the above.
#Post#: 45495--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: bopper Date: January 14, 2020, 9:26 am
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I have done this with my kids/brother...."Uncle Greg will send
presents...but if you do not acknowledge them he will cease to
send them.
He won't know if you got it, if you don't like it, or if you
don't want to get presents, or are just ungrateful. You don't
have to sent a card...you can email/text/call him."
#Post#: 45527--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: oogyda Date: January 14, 2020, 12:35 pm
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[quote author=bopper link=topic=1482.msg45495#msg45495
date=1579015587]
I have done this with my kids/brother...."Uncle Greg will send
presents...but if you do not acknowledge them he will cease to
send them.
He won't know if you got it, if you don't like it, or if you
don't want to get presents, or are just ungrateful. You don't
have to sent a card...you can email/text/call him."
[/quote]
Of course one is allowed to tip off/instruct their own children!
That's parenting!
It's when you go outside your immediate family (spouse and
children) that it becomes meddling.
#Post#: 45556--------------------------------------------------
Re: Would you tip someone off about writing a thank-you note?
By: Runningstar Date: January 14, 2020, 8:55 pm
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One other issue with saying something about the lack of a thank
you is that you would be repeating something said to you, and
maybe it was thought to have been said in confidence. I've
vented before to one person, they told the other person, and it
really was upsetting to me. No I shouldn't have said anything
in the first place, but - sometimes it helps to be able to
express it to a friend/relative/human being.
Would your MIL consider this to have been said to you in
confidence? Unless she specifically says to go ahead and share,
I'd think it over.
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