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#Post#: 44638--------------------------------------------------
Help with a message to neighbor
By: Hanna Date: January 3, 2020, 3:29 am
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My neighbors’ yard backs up to the side of my house. They have
prey-driven dogs and also recently started feeding feral cats in
the yard. (There’s a longer story here, for the cat people.) The
dogs must be bothering the cats because lately they will come
out and yell “leave it” and clap repeatedly. This happens any
time of the day or night. At night it comes straight into my
bedroom window then I’m wide awake. This time 4am, and now 20
minutes later I cannot get back to sleep.
Very sweet person. She is around my age and her Mom lives with
her. We are friendly and helpful with one another. I’m tired
and sick and can’t think straight but I’ve got to solve this!
Worse, I’m trying to sell my house and don’t want to leave this
problem for the people that purchase it. We text typically,
sometimes call for important things. Drinks or dinner out aren’t
out of the question either.
Suggestions? In the dark of night I’m thinking just a text
like, “I’m sure you all don’t realize that when you come out
and yell in the middle of the night, the noises come straight
into my bedroom window. it wakes me up. Is there another way you
can get them to stop?”
I’m sure that could be worded better.
#Post#: 44648--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: Hanna Date: January 3, 2020, 6:56 am
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More awake now and just went with a direct approach via text,
asking if there was another way she could control the dogs at
night because the sounds were coming straight into my window.
Both mom and daughter are a bit hard of hearing so I’m sure she
has no idea it was carrying like that.
#Post#: 44657--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: Morticia Date: January 3, 2020, 8:08 am
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That sounds like a reasonable approach.
#Post#: 44664--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: DaDancingPsych Date: January 3, 2020, 8:48 am
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I might start with, "I heard you yelling outside at 4am; is
everything ok?" She will probably respond with that everything
is fine, but that her dogs were misbehaving and you can mention
that it really disturbs you when she does this.
Or your way. I think what you have created is fine, too!
#Post#: 44668--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: Rose Red Date: January 3, 2020, 8:57 am
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Or "I woke up when I heard you yelling at 4am. Was everything
ok?"
Using the words "woke up" tells her you weren't already awake on
your own. If she realizes, she can say sorry and the problem is
solved. If not, use the phrase you wrote. It's perfectly polite.
#Post#: 44672--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: Chez Miriam Date: January 3, 2020, 9:05 am
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I like your wording, but I think Rose Red's works, too, except I
would go "I was woken up by the yelling at 4am. Was everything
OK?"
I do hope for your sake that they find another way of
controlling their dogs.
Our only consolation as our neighbours' dogs bark all night is
that they never think to control them, so we don't get any 4am
yelling. :)
#Post#: 44678--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: Kimberami Date: January 3, 2020, 9:11 am
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Emphasis that it is absolutely terrifying to be woken up by
someone screaming.
#Post#: 44709--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: katiekat2009 Date: January 3, 2020, 10:47 am
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Tell her to use a water hose. Dogs will quickly respond just
hearing the water turned on.
#Post#: 44714--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: Victoria Date: January 3, 2020, 11:01 am
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I like the direct approach with the caveat that I would leave
out anything like "I’m sure you all don’t realize that when you
come out and yell in the middle of the night..." I wouldn't
infer intent or attempt to tell anyone what they're thinking.
It's something I've done in the past ("I'm sure you didn't mean
to" or "I'm sure you weren't trying to") in an attempt to
soften up what I'm saying, but I've found that it reads as a bit
patronizing when I'm on the receiving end, and I've also seen
people latch onto it and use it as an excuse- "Well yeah we
didn't know, so..."
#Post#: 44786--------------------------------------------------
Re: Help with a message to neighbor
By: GardenGal Date: January 3, 2020, 10:24 pm
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[quote author=Hanna link=topic=1470.msg44648#msg44648
date=1578056170]
More awake now and just went with a direct approach via text,
asking if there was another way she could control the dogs at
night because the sounds were coming straight into my window.
Both mom and daughter are a bit hard of hearing so I’m sure she
has no idea it was carrying like that.
[/quote]
What was her response? I like what others have said about how
frightening it is to be woken up in the middle of the night by
yelling from next door. Good luck!
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