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       #Post#: 44405--------------------------------------------------
       Which card to give?
   DIR By: TaurusGirl
       Date: December 29, 2019, 11:37 am
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       I need your help.
       This past week, our dear friend John (in another province) had a
       major stroke and ended up in hospital. Then, his wife June had a
       heart attack and also ended up in the same hospital. Two nights
       ago, John passed away.
       June has now been release from hospital and is back home.
       My etiquette question - The Hawk (DH) and I want to reach out to
       June, but... do we start with a condolences card, or a get-well
       card?
       ???
       #Post#: 44406--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: kckgirl
       Date: December 29, 2019, 11:58 am
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       I would send a condolence card and mention inside that you hope
       she's feeling better soon.
       #Post#: 44413--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: TootsNYC
       Date: December 29, 2019, 3:45 pm
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       that’s my vote as well.
       The death/condolence is a far weightier issue than even a major
       heart attack or convalescence.
       Poor June!
       #Post#: 44414--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: Jem
       Date: December 29, 2019, 3:47 pm
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       I would probably find a blank card with a cover I like and write
       what I actually want to say to June. Depending on your
       relationship with her it might be:
       - Dear June, I am saddened to hear of John's passing. I have
       such fond memories of him and cannot imagine the heartache you
       must feel. I will bring by some groceries for you on Saturday.
       Please let me know if you are up for a visit, otherwise I know
       the garage code and will put them away for you and let you rest.
       or
       - Dear June, I am saddened to hear of John's passing and your
       own health challenges. Please know you are in my prayers.
       or
       - [Whatever makes sense for your actual relationship and
       personality]
       #Post#: 44416--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: NFPwife
       Date: December 29, 2019, 4:34 pm
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       I like all the responses here. Poor June. I can't imagine what
       she's going through.
       #Post#: 44431--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: HenrysMom
       Date: December 30, 2019, 1:02 am
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       I have to ask:  Why not send both?  A sympathy card first, then
       a dignified “get well” card a day or so later.
       #Post#: 44442--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: Hmmm
       Date: December 30, 2019, 9:21 am
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       I agree that a blank card would be best. If you don't have your
       own cards, you can buy a Thinking of You card and send it as a
       condolence card but also mention your hope that she recovers
       soon. But if your only choices are condolence or get well, then
       I'd send the condolence.
       #Post#: 45058--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: Gellchom
       Date: January 7, 2020, 2:09 pm
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       Just use your own stationery.  It's more personal anyway.
       Write your friend a short letter expressing sympathy on her loss
       and adding that you were also sorry to hear that she is having
       health problems and that you hope she will be well soon.
       I honestly do not understand why commercial greeting cards are
       so popular, evidently to the point where people feel it is
       important, not just a convenience.  They cost more than note
       cards or stationery, even more than super expensive stationery,
       too.  The prettiest card in the world with just someone's name
       signed at the bottom means almost nothing to me, but a
       thoughtful note, even a sentence or two, means the world, and it
       doesn't matter at all if it's on a greeting card or a piece of
       scrap paper.
       #Post#: 45134--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Which card to give?
   DIR By: Chez Miriam
       Date: January 8, 2020, 7:34 am
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       I think from my perspective, I send a card because that is
       likely to sit on a sideboard/mantlepiece for a while, and remind
       the recipient whenever seen, that I am thinking of them.  I
       mostly also write a letter that I put inside the card.  I think
       it would be quite unusual to prop up a letter I received, and
       envelopes always make me think of chores when I leave them on
       display ["must reply to that invite"/"must pay that gas bill",
       etc].
       In a recent case, my friend lost her husband and she just had
       her surgery cancelled at the last moment, So I sent a "Thinking
       of You" card with both my condolences and our best wishes for
       her hip-replacement to happen without further delay.
       Having said that, on the rare occasions someone writes to me on
       personalised stationery, I love that!
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