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#Post#: 44147--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: vintagegal Date: December 22, 2019, 6:18 am
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My problem is with the mandatory, structured, outside-imposed
"gift exchanges" - "You WILL bring a gift worth between $25 and
$35 to be given to an arbritrary co-worker" kind of thing. We're
all grown-ups, we can buy our own tchotchkes. I don't get a warm
feeling because Anita in accounting bought me a Santa mug.
I made 3 kinds of cookies and will package up some variety packs
to have on hand in case I get an unexpected gift, and to give
out to people like post office lady, landlord, etc.
I personally don't care if I give someone a present and they
don't reciprocate. I would prefer NOT to get presents from
people I don't know very well.
#Post#: 44602--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Gellchom Date: January 2, 2020, 3:15 pm
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Our office does a little gift exchange game at our annual
outing, with everyone bringing something costing under $20. We
pick numbers and go in order, but you can "steal" things already
chosen -- I've never bothered to learn the rules (they seem to
change anyway); I just try to swap so that someone before me can
get what they seemed to want. This year I ended up with a tiny
cast iron skillet with a chocolate-chip cookie mix to make in
it. Last year I got a gift card to AMC movie theaters. (Gift
cards are a safe choice!) What I gave cost more than $20, but
it was a collection of nice things I already had in the "gift
cabinet" that I was happy to give away: a 3-bottle wine carrier,
a corkscrew, and a ceramic wine stopper, and I added an
inexpensive bottle of wine.
I don't outright hate it, especially because we all laugh a lot
during the game, but I'd be just as happy if we didn't do this
at all (especially now that we are downsizing drastically at our
house; I will probably give away that little skillet). But it's
not a big deal, and it's only once a year. So I just decide to
be a good sport, because others like it.
#Post#: 44604--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Sycorax Date: January 2, 2020, 3:19 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1448.msg44146#msg44146
date=1577009194]
[quote]Shouldn't gift-giving be voluntary and done with love?
[/quote]
The trouble is that once someone gives someone else a present,
unless they are blatantly unequal in status, reciprocating is
not voluntary. This is true across pretty much every culture
through time and across the world - this is one of the (few)
statements that all anthropologists agree on.
[/quote]
So someone can force me to give them a gift by getting me one?
Not happening.
Edited for spelling
#Post#: 44615--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: TootsNYC Date: January 2, 2020, 5:27 pm
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you can’t be forced, of course not.
But you could easily end up suffering condemnation from the
group or others for not participating in the exchange.
That’s why it’s actually rude to GIVE a present to someone who
shouldn’t feel pressured to give you one in return, or to give
too valuable or intimate of a present.
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