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#Post#: 44005--------------------------------------------------
Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: DaDancingPsych Date: December 19, 2019, 8:12 am
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Ugh... I hate work place gifting! I don't particularly like my
coworkers... I just tolerate them, so I have no interest in
gifting them. Luckily, I am in an office where it is not done
(partly, because I squashed it years ago.) The new guy (he's
been here 9 months) bought everyone a bottle of wine. It was a
kind gesture, but I figured the best way to prevent this is to
not reciprocate. It feels wrong, but I do not want to start
something. Well... something got started today. I just got an
email from this coworker thanking me for the gift basket... I
obviously didn't send it. So, now I have to send the awkward
reply. I haven't quite figured out how to say "it wasn't me"
yet.
(On a side note, he is the kind of guy to write this email
knowing it wasn't me as a power play. I have no proof and will
assume the best, but he's done other strange things to make me
think he's pulling stunts.)
#Post#: 44007--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Hmmm Date: December 19, 2019, 8:30 am
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1448.msg44005#msg44005
date=1576764727]
Ugh... I hate work place gifting! I don't particularly like my
coworkers... I just tolerate them, so I have no interest in
gifting them. Luckily, I am in an office where it is not done
(partly, because I squashed it years ago.) The new guy (he's
been here 9 months) bought everyone a bottle of wine. It was a
kind gesture, but I figured the best way to prevent this is to
not reciprocate. It feels wrong, but I do not want to start
something. Well... something got started today. I just got an
email from this coworker thanking me for the gift basket... I
obviously didn't send it. So, now I have to send the awkward
reply. I haven't quite figured out how to say "it wasn't me"
yet.
(On a side note, he is the kind of guy to write this email
knowing it wasn't me as a power play. I have no proof and will
assume the best, but he's done other strange things to make me
think he's pulling stunts.)
[/quote]
I'd be straightforward.
"Tim, I'm afraid you are mistaken as I did not send you a gift
basket. You might want to check the card again. It's probably
also a good time to mention that I have a personal preference to
not exchange gifts with co-workers. I've always found it created
awkwardness or hurt feelings. While I appreciated the bottle of
wine you brought just be aware that any gifts given to me by
co-workers will receive a heartfelt thank you, but nothing
else."
#Post#: 44008--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: gramma dishes Date: December 19, 2019, 8:36 am
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I like Hmmm's response. Succinct and to the point. Polite but
straightforward. Perfect.
#Post#: 44010--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: OnyxBird Date: December 19, 2019, 8:39 am
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How about just a cheery "Nope, that's not from me! Good luck
finding your mystery gift-giver!"?
Just treat it like a wrong number--he emailed his thank-you to
the wrong person. You don't have to announce that you haven't
gotten him anything, just that he's mistaken (whether that's
mistaken or "mistaken") about the specific thing he's emailing
you about being from you. You don't owe him a gift, so there's
no need to treat it as awkward--just assume the fact that he has
had difficulty identifying the source of the gift is the only
issue to be addressed.
On the off chance this guy does turn out to be enough of a boor
to imply that he expected a gift (e.g., claiming to be worried
that your gift must have gone missing because he hasn't seen it
or something), then "Oh, we don't do coworker gift exchanges
here. The wine was a kind gesture, but you really didn't need to
get us anything."
#Post#: 44012--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Rose Red Date: December 19, 2019, 9:04 am
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[quote author=OnyxBird link=topic=1448.msg44010#msg44010
date=1576766361]
How about just a cheery "Nope, that's not from me! Good luck
finding your mystery gift-giver!"?
Just treat it like a wrong number--he emailed his thank-you to
the wrong person. [/quote]
This is what I'd do. Let him know he got the wrong person so he
can find the correct person who deserves the thank you.
#Post#: 44019--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: DaDancingPsych Date: December 19, 2019, 9:57 am
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How do you guys always know how to make things so easy?!? Thanks
for the feedback!
#Post#: 44022--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Hanna Date: December 19, 2019, 10:36 am
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OnyxBird's response is much better than my fantasy reply "You
are welcome!!!"
#Post#: 44027--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: lakey Date: December 19, 2019, 11:47 am
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Could some co-worker have sent the gift basket as a group gift?
After he gave everyone a bottle of wine, someone may have
thought that it was a good idea to give him something in return,
and sent it as if it were from everyone. I would try to find out
before responding to him. If this isn't the case, respond
honestly as others have suggested.
Personally, I hate gift stuff going on in the workplace. I feel
that there is a difference between your work life and your
social life.
A well run workplace would have policies. My preferred policy
would be no gift exchanges, showers, etc. at work. If a couple
of co-workers are friends they can do it on their own. Sometimes
co-workers who are friends meet for drinks after work. This
would be when they can exchange Christmas gifts, birthday gifts,
and so on.
#Post#: 44029--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Rose Red Date: December 19, 2019, 12:19 pm
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1448.msg44019#msg44019
date=1576771032]
How do you guys always know how to make things so easy?!? Thanks
for the feedback!
[/quote]
Because when it's you/us personally, we tend to overthink. "Is
this right?" "Is this wrong?" "What if I sound too cold?" "What
if I sound too pushy?" :P ;)
#Post#: 44033--------------------------------------------------
Re: Work Place Gifting Awkwardness
By: Kimberami Date: December 19, 2019, 1:30 pm
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We had so much trouble with organizing Secret Santa at work, we
finally gave up about 6 years ago. We donate toys to needy
children instead.
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