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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 43467--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Rose Red
Date: December 9, 2019, 7:30 pm
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It sounds fine to me, but I don't know this person. Knowing
someone and having a history with them makes a huge difference
in how to interpret their words.
#Post#: 43469--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Pattycake
Date: December 9, 2019, 8:11 pm
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I do think she's being a little weird, sending you an email to
let you know she's sending you an email ??? ::), but I agree
with Runningstar - don't invite her to anything via Facebook any
more. (Then you know what she'll do - ask why she didn't get a
Fb invite... :D)
#Post#: 43473--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Dazi
Date: December 9, 2019, 9:26 pm
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--- Quote from: mrs_deb link ---
>
> [quote author=Dazi link=topic=1432.msg43456#msg43456
date=1575935686]
> Tone is EXTREMELY difficult to read in emails and text
messages.
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I was at a seminar on Friday where the speaker said that people
perceived the meaning of your message by the following
percentages:
Words 7%
Tone 38%
Nonverbal 55%
Thus email being such a difficult way to communicate. I had no
idea.
[/quote]
Exactly! Very little is the actual words. Most of how we
interpret meaning is by body language/nonverbal queues.
#Post#: 43481--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Aleko
Date: December 10, 2019, 1:53 am
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My guess is that Friend has recently had a negative experience
with a Facebook invitation, or Facebook generally, and is
responding to all Facebook communications from friends in the
same way and much the same words. Yes, it might have been better
expressed, but it's nothing to take personally.
#Post#: 43488--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: December 10, 2019, 6:30 am
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Well she’s also just being foolish because our email is not
secure either.
100% certain yahoo shared my contacts list with Facebook without
my permission. People pop up as suggested friends that I’ve
emailed with once from yahoo and we have zero other connections.
She should have walked over (without her car or phone because
both can be used to track her) and whispered her rsvp your ear.
I get her paranoia about social media, but don’t understand why
she’s on it still.
#Post#: 43489--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: collakat
Date: December 10, 2019, 7:11 am
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I see it as unnecessary or over explaining that don't need
answering, just acknowledging of the RSVP and wouldn't take
offence.
#Post#: 43492--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Tea Drinker
Date: December 10, 2019, 7:46 am
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It's over-explaining, but maybe the last person she emailed
about something ignored her RSVP because she hadn't also clicked
a box on facebook.
Some email is more secure than others; I keep my account at a
relatively small ISP in part because I trust them more than
Google and a *lot* more than Yahoo. (I do have a gmail account,
which I use mostly for dealing with sites that insist that
myname@smallerISP.com isn't a valid email address, because it's
not on their short list of "real" ISPs.
[Unsolicited plug: if you're really worried about the security
of your email, take a look at protonmail.ch, which has built-in
two-factor authentication and is in Switzerland specifically
because the creators wanted to be under Switzerland's stricter
privacy laws, rather than in the US or EU.]
#Post#: 43496--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: December 10, 2019, 8:21 am
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--- Quote from: Hanna link ---
>
> Well she’s also just being foolish because our email is not
secure either.
>
> 100% certain yahoo shared my contacts list with Facebook
without my permission. People pop up as suggested friends that
I’ve emailed with once from yahoo and we have zero other
connections.
>
> She should have walked over (without her car or phone because
both can be used to track her) and whispered her rsvp your ear.
I get her paranoia about social media, but don’t understand why
she’s on it still.
>
--- End Quote ---
As someone who works in the industry, I am very selective on the
information I share on FB and other social media platforms. Yes,
any platform has the potential to be mined for information but
there is no reason I should make it easier for FB, Amazon,
Google and the various ad services that collect your information
to create a complete dossier on my contacts, events, purchases
and search habits. Mining of email can be done by third party
apps if you allow the third party app to access your messages.
But otherwise, email is still the most secure as far as privacy
of your interactions.
#Post#: 43497--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: gramma dishes
Date: December 10, 2019, 8:46 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: mrs_deb link ---
>
> [quote author=Dazi link=topic=1432.msg43456#msg43456
date=1575935686]
> Tone is EXTREMELY difficult to read in emails and text
messages.
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I was at a seminar on Friday where the speaker said that people
perceived the meaning of your message by the following
percentages:
Words 7%
Tone 38%
Nonverbal 55%
Thus email being such a difficult way to communicate. I had no
idea.
[/quote]
This is no doubt true in business correspondence, but when you
are communicating on a more personal level with people you know
well (close friends and family members) you READ the email with
their voice and inflections. You can visualize their facial
expression and even body posture.
#Post#: 43528--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
DIR By: lisastitch
Date: December 10, 2019, 3:08 pm
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Many thanks for the responses!
She is very security conscious (she's the reason I send info
about the party in the body of the email--she doesn't open
attachments). And if she had told me that she doesn't like
doing FB invitations and would rather just get the email, I
would have said I would do my best to remember that.
It was the slightly scoldy/passive-aggressive tone with nothing
that I can really respond to that bothered me. Her other email
(responding to the emailed invitation) was just fine.
So maybe she was writing it quickly, didn't think about the
tone--and, yes, tone of voice and body language are key in how
we interpret the words.
I won't respond to it, and will mark it up as one of her little
quirks, acknowledging that I have plenty of my own.
I was glad that other people also found the tone a little odd
and off-putting. It reassured me that I wasn't being overly
sensitive.
Thank you!
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