DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Entertaining and Hospitality
*****************************************************
#Post#: 43446--------------------------------------------------
Unreasonably miffed?
By: lisastitch Date: December 9, 2019, 2:41 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm miffed at a friend, and am trying to decide whether it's
reasonable or unreasonable.
DH and I do a Christmas party every year. I send out an email
invitation, with basic info in the subject line and body of the
email, and an attachment with full details (but people have been
coming for years, so they know the details and really just need
the date and time). I also create and send out a Facebook
invitation. Some people are more likely to read email, others
FB, so a lot of people get it in both formats, and I get
responses in both formats.
This morning, I got an email:
"Hi Lisastitch
I will not RSVP using Facebook. They know too much as it is!
Just sent a separate RSVP email to you.
[her name]"
I feel as if I'm being scolded for having used FB. She's one of
the people who got the invitation in both formats, and (as far
as I'm concerned) she could have just responded to the email
with her RSVP, rather than making a point of not wanting to use
FB.
There's some past history that may affect how I'm feeling, but I
was curious how others felt.
#Post#: 43447--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: Jem Date: December 9, 2019, 3:05 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
The email from your friend comes across as passive aggressive,
and I totally understand being miffed. That said, I would
probably just ignore it. I doubt anything productive would come
from addressing this with her, and I don't think you did
anything wrong nor do you need to change your conduct going
forward.
If your friend truly has a problem with FB, perhaps she should
not be on it to have received the invitation in that format!
#Post#: 43448--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: lowspark Date: December 9, 2019, 3:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Unless I had a reason to suspect something different, (which I
guess you do), just on the face of it, the email doesn't look
like it's scolding you. People get fed up with Facebook all the
time and complain about it. It's such a common topic of
conversation that it would never occur to me to take it
personally.
But I'm sort of confused. Did she send an email to tell you that
she sent (another) email?
#Post#: 43450--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: Hmmm Date: December 9, 2019, 3:25 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=lowspark link=topic=1432.msg43448#msg43448
date=1575925704]
Unless I had a reason to suspect something different, (which I
guess you do), just on the face of it, the email doesn't look
like it's scolding you. People get fed up with Facebook all the
time and complain about it. It's such a common topic of
conversation that it would never occur to me to take it
personally.
But I'm sort of confused. Did she send an email to tell you that
she sent (another) email?
[/quote]
I agree. Without the past history, it just to me seems like she
was explaining why she wasn't doing a FB acceptance.
#Post#: 43451--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: TootsNYC Date: December 9, 2019, 3:33 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think she was giving you a little scolding, doing a little
proselytizing about her security wokeness, and dotting all her
i's and crossing all her t's.
So I can see why it feels a bit like a jab; it sort of may have
been. I believe she thinks you should think the way she does, so
she's being sure to tell you how she thinks.
But I don't see it as a BIG miffed; more of a "there she is,
doing that thing human beings do, and feeling slightly superior.
But I probably have done something similar."
I'd be tempted to message back, "I really don't care which
method you use to respond--one RSVP is enough, and you don't
need to worry I'll miss it; I'm watching both channels, as you
know. Looking forward to seeing you!"
But then I'd say, "I' just not going to." and I'd delete that
message or email as fast as I could, so it wouldn't pop up and
sour me again.
#Post#: 43452--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: QueenFaninCA Date: December 9, 2019, 3:42 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=lisastitch link=topic=1432.msg43446#msg43446
date=1575924102]
I will not RSVP using Facebook. They know too much as it is!
[/quote]
I would be wondering why the heck she is still on Facebook.
#Post#: 43453--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: RubyCat Date: December 9, 2019, 4:39 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=QueenFaninCA link=topic=1432.msg43452#msg43452
date=1575927723]
[quote author=lisastitch link=topic=1432.msg43446#msg43446
date=1575924102]
I will not RSVP using Facebook. They know too much as it is!
[/quote]
I would be wondering why the heck she is still on Facebook.
[/quote]
I post very little on Facebook but keep the account because of
the neighborhood association and a group from my school. Given
the choice, I would RSVP using email. Just the same I find the
friend's reply a little odd.
#Post#: 43456--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: Dazi Date: December 9, 2019, 5:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Tone is EXTREMELY difficult to read in emails and text messages.
In general, people read them in the most negative light. I'm not
kidding when I tell you a few years ago the company I worked for
sent 300+ employees to a business etiquette/communication course
because of the sheer number of complaints about other employees
being "nasty" via email. We spent three whole days on how to
write positive sounding messages, on how to avoid negative speak
both in person/written, and how to re-read things we initial
perceived as negative sounding. Seriously, over regular business
communications.
#Post#: 43462--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: Runningstar Date: December 9, 2019, 6:22 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I'd just let it go and take her off the face book invitations.
She might have just been letting you know which type of
invitation that she prefers - nothing meant personally against
you. One of my friends loves to send me joke videos on facebook
message - and I won't open them as I've had a few friends that
got hacked that way. I sent a message very much like your
friend's, but about the messaging. No hidden meaning in it.
#Post#: 43466--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unreasonably miffed?
By: DebraDoda Date: December 9, 2019, 6:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Dazi link=topic=1432.msg43456#msg43456
date=1575935686]
Tone is EXTREMELY difficult to read in emails and text messages.
[/quote]
I was at a seminar on Friday where the speaker said that people
perceived the meaning of your message by the following
percentages:
Words 7%
Tone 38%
Nonverbal 55%
Thus email being such a difficult way to communicate. I had no
idea.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page