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#Post#: 42721--------------------------------------------------
Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: LifeOnPluto Date: November 27, 2019, 5:32 am
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So - I have a dilemma as to where to go for Christmas lunch.
My extended family always gets together for Christmas lunch,
with each family unit taking turns to host. Lunch is always very
traditional - turkey, roast potatoes, vegetables, followed by
pudding and trifle, etc. Everyone brings a dish, but the hosts
always do the main dish, which is the turkey.
This year, my cousin "Will" and his new wife "Cathy" volunteered
to host (they've recently bought a new house). However, when
they sent around the email invitation, they invited everyone for
"Christmas Brunch", and announced that they'd be serving
scrambled eggs, mushrooms and French Toast!
This upset my rather "prim and proper" elderly mother (who loves
her traditional Christmas lunch). She decided to have her own
Christmas lunch, and has already invited her next door neighbour
(a widower of 80), and a couple of friends of my late father's
(in their late 70s). (Note, she planned to attend Will and
Cathy's brunch, then go home and host this lunch).
Now Will and Cathy have changed their invitation to Christmas
lunch, with the traditional fare. (I suspect their "brunch" idea
met with some push-back from some of my other relatives). So now
there are two Christmas lunches - the larger one with my
extended family, hosted by Will and Cathy, and the smaller one
hosted by my mum, with the elderly neighbour and father's
friends.
At this point, I should note that I live interstate, and don't
get to see my mum that often. We have never spent a Christmas
apart (yet). Further, my dad died a couple of years ago, which
has been tough for her. I also know she misses me very much too,
living on the other side of the country, etc. I am still coming
home for a week's visit over Christmas, but now I'm faced with
the dilemma of where to have Christmas lunch.
Truth be told, I would much rather go to Will and Cathy's place.
All my cousins will be there (people my age!), and it'll be way
more fun. My mum's lunch will be much more... dull, to be
honest. Nothing against her guests, but they are all much older
than me and I have very little in common with them. But... I
know my mum would be sad and upset that I'm not with her for
Christmas lunch.
This is something I just have to suck up, right? Do the kind
thing, and attend my mum's lunch, even though I suspect it will
be tedious? Brimstoners, talk some sense into me!
#Post#: 42725--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: Runningstar Date: November 27, 2019, 6:35 am
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Ever feel like asking - would you like whipped cream with those
holiday complications?
If you take out all of the many factors, the first invitation
(brunch) was given and accepted. Your mother's lunch invitation
was given & accepted, and then the brunch was changed.
So technically I guess that you go to your mother's lunch and
try to figure out a way to be able to visit with the cousins.
Maybe going to your mom's a bit early to help out, eating lunch,
then on to the cousins for a briefer visit than you'd like.
#Post#: 42726--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: LadyRexall Date: November 27, 2019, 7:33 am
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Honestly, I would go to cousins for lunch. Did you decline or
accept either invitation?
#Post#: 42728--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: Sycorax Date: November 27, 2019, 8:12 am
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I would probably go to the cousin's lunch - however, could you
also visit your mother later in the day?
#Post#: 42729--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: lowspark Date: November 27, 2019, 8:40 am
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If I'm reading this right, your mother's lunch will be four
people, all of whom are in their 70s or 80s, and you.
Can your mother change her mind about hosting and ask Will and
Cathy if she can bring those three extras to the family lunch?
It's only three extra people, right?
I think I would go to Will and Cathy's and either see my mother
in the morning before lunch or go over after lunch. I know
that's not the answer you're looking for... but the lunch at
your mother's doesn't sound like you're going to have much fun.
I would hope your mother would understand that you want to spend
Christmas with people your own age, especially if you can see
her at another time of the day.
#Post#: 42733--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: Hmmm Date: November 27, 2019, 9:37 am
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If I understand, you will be staying with your Mom for a week
during Christmas. Since you'll have enough quality time with
your mom during this trip, I'd probably opt for the cousin
lunch. Just explain that you would really like to visit with
your cousins and this is your only opportunity.
Remember, it was your mom who created the schedule conflict. It
was perfectly fine for her to decide she didn't want to attend a
Christmas brunch, but it was unfair of her to assume you would
not want to attend or would be ok with rushing home for her
luncheon.
If travel times permit and schedule permits, I might try to come
back to Mom's for dessert or a visit with her friends for a bit.
#Post#: 42742--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: katiekat2009 Date: November 27, 2019, 11:03 am
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Mom's for lunch. Will and Cathy's for dessert.
#Post#: 42751--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: Runningstar Date: November 27, 2019, 1:20 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1418.msg42733#msg42733
date=1574869026]
Remember, it was your mom who created the schedule conflict.
[/quote]
I don't agree, the mom was going to attend the brunch and then
go and host a lunch at her home afterwards. The cousins later
decided to make it a lunch also and the mom had already invited
guests to her lunch.
#Post#: 42761--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: Kimberami Date: November 27, 2019, 3:26 pm
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Are you staying with your mom? I would talk to her. Explain
that you'd love a chance to see your extended family so you are
going to go to Will and Cathy's for lunch. That way you'll get
to see everyone.
#Post#: 42764--------------------------------------------------
Re: Competing Christmas lunches! Which to attend?
By: Hmmm Date: November 27, 2019, 4:06 pm
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[quote author=Runningstar link=topic=1418.msg42751#msg42751
date=1574882412]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1418.msg42733#msg42733
date=1574869026]
Remember, it was your mom who created the schedule conflict.
[/quote]
I don't agree, the mom was going to attend the brunch and then
go and host a lunch at her home afterwards. The cousins later
decided to make it a lunch also and the mom had already invited
guests to her lunch.
[/quote]
I would agree if Mom had planned on serving a Christmas Dinner.
But since she wanted a "lunch" it would appear to me that she
planned to spend minimal time at the brunch in order to go home
and host a lunch. Or maybe it's semantics and the OP is using
Christmas lunch as a generic term and not to indicate time of
day.
But either way, Mom could have just graciously accepted the
hospitality being offered by a different generation. It would
appear Mom is more interested in the food being served at the
family gathering than spending time with the family.
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