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#Post#: 42673--------------------------------------------------
she actually touched my arm
By: Songbird Date: November 26, 2019, 9:42 am
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Penn Station is crazy even at the best of times. It's a huge
travel hub serviced by Amtrak, two commuter line (LIRR and NJ
transit) and two NYC subway lines. It's always crazy, even more
so during the holiday season. I've been commuting through Penn
for more years than I care to admit, and I hate it.
So this morning I was on my way to work. I had my pocketbook
slung over one shoulder, and I had my work laptop in a small
backpack on wheels.
I was on the upper level, planning to take an escalator down to
the lower level to the subway entrance. I was running a bit
late, actually, so I was waling kind of fast. I'm pretty sure I
wasn't giving off "lost tourist" vibes.
A woman walked up to me and said "You should take the elevator."
I looked at her, not sure she was actually speaking to me. She
put her hand on my arm and repeated, "You should take the
elevator. It's right over there."
Talk about unsolicited advice. Yeah, I know the elevator is
over there -- it goes up to the street, not down to the subway,
so it's totally useless to me.
I didn't say anything, though I may have rolled my eyes. I just
kept walking.
what say the etiquette experts?
#Post#: 42675--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: Hmmm Date: November 26, 2019, 9:56 am
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This is the type of unsolicited advice that is very annoying to
me, especially if her action is slowing me down when I'm in a
hurry.
But it is also the type of thing that I have to make myself
think "her heart was in the right place" and just let it go. My
response a "I know" and continue on.
I find by trying to put a positive spin on others actions, the
world is a lot less annoying on a whole.
#Post#: 42677--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: sandisadie Date: November 26, 2019, 11:20 am
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Whenever this type of thing happens to me I just smile and say
"thanks. I know that".
#Post#: 42681--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: DaDancingPsych Date: November 26, 2019, 12:20 pm
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I agree that her heart was likely in the right place. I am not
sure how she came to the conclusion that this was the advice
that you needed, but ok. The touching was the very wrong part. I
think doubly so with public transit. Personal space is at such a
premium and I think people who don't like to be touched or who's
space bubbles are larger feel over stimulated. So, if we can
avoid touching, we should.
#Post#: 42705--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: Copper Horsewoman Date: November 26, 2019, 7:15 pm
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Suspicious me, who has lived in too many big cities, would check
where my wallet was, and make sure my laptop bag was not
tampered with. Way too familiar for me.
#Post#: 42716--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: andi Date: November 26, 2019, 8:37 pm
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I would just find the whole thing very unsettling. Something
with just trigger the “somethings not right” vibe and me. I
don’t think I would take the elevator if a stranger told me I
should.
#Post#: 42718--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: lakey Date: November 26, 2019, 10:15 pm
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I think that the reason this bothers you is because, depending
on her tone, unsolicited advice can come across as patronizing.
She seems to be implying that you can't handle your own
situation. I would view her touching your arm as over familiar.
I personally don't like strangers touching me. All that being
said, she meant well, so you handled it for the best. You just
let something like this go, and get on with what you're doing.
#Post#: 42731--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: lowspark Date: November 27, 2019, 9:01 am
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[quote author=Songbird link=topic=1416.msg42673#msg42673
date=1574782968]
I didn't say anything, though I may have rolled my eyes. I just
kept walking.
what say the etiquette experts?
[/quote]
I'm no etiquette expert, but you did exactly as I would have.
Unsolicited familiarity from strangers in the NYC mass transit
depots is cause for me to immediately remove myself from the
situation as quickly as possible, even at my own inconvenience.
No, I don't need help figuring out where to go, which conveyance
to take, how to buy a pass, etc. And if I do, I'll ask someone
whose job it is to answer those questions.
#Post#: 42799--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: Songbird Date: November 28, 2019, 12:18 pm
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Interesting how the responses go from “she was overly familiar
but meant well” to “you would have been mugged in the
elevator”...
#Post#: 42803--------------------------------------------------
Re: she actually touched my arm
By: Shores Date: November 28, 2019, 2:19 pm
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Yeah, I won’t get in an enclosed small space at a public train
station. The stairs are always safer.
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