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#Post#: 42629--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Hmmm Date: November 25, 2019, 9:57 am
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Completing agreeing with Gellchom and OnyxBird. I only offer
unsolicited advice if I am sharing information that I think is
not common knowledge. For example, last month a woman rolled
down her window and advised me that her car had been peppered
with bird poo when parked in a specific spot the day before. I
appreciated the heads up. Another woman noticed an item I was
buying and mentioned they were actually on a buy one get one
free sale. I appreciated the heads up.
But a purse in a cart, no, that's like telling a stranger that
they shouldn't walk down the street while reading their phone.
#Post#: 42630--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Aleko Date: November 25, 2019, 10:10 am
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[quote]But a purse in a cart, no, that's like telling a stranger
that they shouldn't walk down the street while reading their
phone.[/quote]
It would be, if they were still wandering around the store away
from cart and purse. But the original question was whether to
explain to this woman that leaving purse in cart and wandering
off was a Bad Idea when she had just come hastening back to
retrieve it (presumably having only just realised what she had
done). And that's more like telling a stranger who has just
stepped off the kerb absent-mindedly, and leaped back with a
scream as they nearly got mown down by a bus, 'You shouldn't
step off the kerb without looking'.
#Post#: 42635--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Hmmm Date: November 25, 2019, 11:22 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1412.msg42630#msg42630
date=1574698210]
[quote]But a purse in a cart, no, that's like telling a stranger
that they shouldn't walk down the street while reading their
phone.[/quote]
It would be, if they were still wandering around the store away
from cart and purse. But the original question was whether to
explain to this woman that leaving purse in cart and wandering
off was a Bad Idea when she had just come hastening back to
retrieve it (presumably having only just realised what she had
done). And that's more like telling a stranger who has just
stepped off the kerb absent-mindedly, and leaped back with a
scream as they nearly got mown down by a bus, 'You shouldn't
step off the kerb without looking'.
[/quote]
To me it sounded like she rushed back when a stranger stopped
beside her cart and seemed to be taking an interest in her
purse.
I would find it very eye rolly if someone admonished a stranger
who had almost been hit by a bus like that.
A more accurate comparison to your scenario would be if a thief
had been thwarted reaching for the purse and then a "kind"
stranger "you shouldn't leave your purse in your cart" as your
yelling for security. In this situation, there was the potential
of the purse being stolen, but no actual attempt. So the other
comparable scenario would be to tell a strange at the kerb who
is reading their phone to make sure they look up and look both
ways before stepping off because they might be hit by a passing
bus.
#Post#: 43365--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Star Wars Fan Date: December 7, 2019, 9:08 pm
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Personally I'd stay out of that situation. I'd never offer
advice to a stranger (not that I can think of anyways) unless
they were about to do something very stupid that was life
endangering.
Ed.
#Post#: 43370--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Rho Date: December 7, 2019, 10:31 pm
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Thank you all for the sage advice.
Yesterday I saw another customer in the grocery store pick up a
small bag of flour when next to it was a weekly special of a
larger size at a lower price. I opened my mouth to announce
that, thought of this discussion, closed my mouth, and walked
on. And probably saved myself a lecture about minding my own
business.
#Post#: 43419--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: TootsNYC Date: December 9, 2019, 10:22 am
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Good move!
Those of us with small kitchen, an intermittent baking schedule,
and a storage jar that's already half full would thank you for
letting us buy our smaller bags undisturbed.
There's a certain level of assumption in pointing out the sale
in that situation--an assumption that you actually KNOW what the
other person's buying decisions are based upon. And perhaps an
assumption that they are exactly like you--but of course they
are not.
#Post#: 43455--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Sycorax Date: December 9, 2019, 5:51 pm
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I don't (usually) mind a few suggestions, as long as you're
willing to drop it. If you want to tell me the ginormous bag of
flour is on sale, fine, but if I continue on to get the small
bag, just leave it be!
#Post#: 43479--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Aleko Date: December 10, 2019, 1:28 am
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[quote]If you want to tell me the ginormous bag of flour is on
sale, fine[/quote]
- And even then, to my mind, it's a question of how big the sale
sign is; also how much bigger/different the on-sale item is. If
I walk up to the flour shelves, walk past the big red sign
saying '4 lbs flour half price!' and pick up a 1-pound bag, I'd
be mildly irked to have some helpful person tell me 'the 4-lb
bag is half price!'. Because (a) yes, I can actually read, thank
you very much, and (b), someone who only wants a pound of flour
is quite likely to have no use for most of a 4-lb bag.
I hope I wouldn't snap at or lecture that helpful person, but if
it was a bad day they might get the eye-roll and stony smile.
#Post#: 43491--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: Tea Drinker Date: December 10, 2019, 7:39 am
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[quote author=Pandorica link=topic=1412.msg43455#msg43455
date=1575935500]
I don't (usually) mind a few suggestions, as long as you're
willing to drop it. If you want to tell me the ginormous bag of
flour is on sale, fine, but if I continue on to get the small
bag, just leave it be!
[/quote]
Count me on this side as well: sometimes I would rather waste
money than food. "Wasted" money goes to someone else, who will
likely spend it; food wasted because of overbuying food will
probably end up in a landfill, hopefully without spoiling in my
refrigerator or having moths hatch in my pantry.
That's in addition to questions of how much I can carry home,
store when I get it home, or use easily. In particular, the main
thing I do with milk is in tea, a little at a time, meaning
quarts are more convenient than half gallons, and a lot more
convenient than gallons. Even on days when lifting seven or
pounds of milk to the appropriate height for pouring out an
ounce or so doesn't hurt my shoulder, spilling milk on the
counter means having to stop and clean it up when I just want to
be drinking tea.
#Post#: 43510--------------------------------------------------
Re: When to Offer Advice to a Stranger
By: lowspark Date: December 10, 2019, 11:05 am
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[quote author=OnyxBird link=topic=1412.msg42560#msg42560
date=1574549312]
When I was in college, I was amazed by the number of people who
would leave their laptops sitting unattended on a desk in a room
accessible to a lot of people they didn't know well
[/quote]
This makes me think about people who lay their cellphones down
just anywhere. I see this in restaurants all the time, but other
places too. Lay down the phone on the table, forget about it,
and walk off. I'm sort of surprised there aren't more incidents
of cell phone snatching as it seems to me to be easy pickins!
But yeah, you know, ain't none o' my bidness. ;D
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