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#Post#: 40829--------------------------------------------------
Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: LadyRexall Date: October 21, 2019, 5:34 pm
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I’ve been seeing this on different mom to mom groups I belong
too lately. The post will explain that they’ve decided to
sponsor a family for Christmas (really nice gesture. I do it
every year) and then going on to ask people to make donations to
this worthy cause. One person I saw make a post like this got a
lot of backlash and just now I’ve seen her mom post saying her
daughter is sponsoring a family and how great it is, especially
since she has a family of her own to do Christmas for and asked
for donations to her daughter to donate to her sponsored family.
I have to admit that I felt this was a bit off. I’ve sponsored
many families over the years and never asked for help. To me, if
you can’t afford to do a good deed, you should do an act of
kindness that you CAN afford. What do other people feel about
this?
#Post#: 40830--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: sandisadie Date: October 21, 2019, 6:38 pm
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I agree that if you can't afford to fund your own good deed,
such as giving to a needy family, then you should do what you
can afford, or just not do anything. But asking others to
contribute to your personal deed is not a good look. On the
other hand, if you were telling people what you personally
planned to do and were urging others to do the same or something
similar, that would be worth talking about. One thing that I
think is ok is to ask family members if they want to go in with
you on your good deed. I know there are plenty of giant deeds
of kindness that multiple strangers contribute to on social
media, and in other ways, to reach a goal, but I don't think
this is what is being discussed here.
#Post#: 40831--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: NyaChan Date: October 21, 2019, 6:41 pm
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I agree - give what you can and if you want to help more,
encourage others to donate directly to the cause. I don’t see
why I should pay for someone rlse’s Donation. Used to have a
teacher that did this for a charity race that had prizes for the
people who fundraise. She’d have us students raise funds BUT
she’d donate the lump sum of it all in her name. That meant she
got all the big prizes associated with that level of giving and
she’d let us students keep the gloves and socks they gave for
the lower tiers.
#Post#: 40835--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: Hmmm Date: October 21, 2019, 7:59 pm
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Initially I was imagining someone asking for monetary donations
to cover the cost of their planned donation, but after reading
I'm wondering if it is a wording type thing and not as big of a
miss as it initially sounds. I wonder if it is a wording type
issue?
I've seen something like this at a couple of churches: A Sunday
school woman's group "adopts" 5 families to sponsor and they get
one Sunday school member to agree to be the primary sponsor. As
the primary sponsor, they meet with the family to identify the
family needs, like the kids need new shoes, the mom a new coat
and maybe a couple of toys or fun gifts. Then the primary
sponsor reaches out to their friends and contacts to try and get
those items donated. The sponsor also makes sure to collect the
items, wrap and deliver. While I know of a 2 families who adopt
and fund the gifts for an entire family's needs, in most cases,
the primary sponsors can't afford the $500 to $1000 donation
So if a friend contacted me and said they were raising donations
for a specific family and would I mind donating $40 for buying
the mom a coat, I'd be fine with it. But if a woman posted about
how wonderful her DD was for taking this on and and would I help
out her daughter, I'd be turned off by it.
#Post#: 40838--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: Rho Date: October 21, 2019, 9:53 pm
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"So if a friend contacted me and said they were raising
donations for a specific family and would I mind donating $40
for buying the mom a coat, I'd be fine with it. But if a woman
posted about how wonderful her DD was for taking this on and and
would I help out her daughter.........."
The 1st scenario is similar to folks who ask for sponsors when
they themselves run a marathon. The second scenario is just
wrong.
#Post#: 40852--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: DaDancingPsych Date: October 22, 2019, 7:30 am
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I agree. It's like they are trying to get the credit for this
wonderful thing, but not have to pay. Some alternatives that I
think that would be acceptable include contacting the
organization, saying that you can only donate X monies and see
if there is a way that that would be helpful to their cause. Or
I would not object if someone said, "I am interested in
sponsoring a family through X organization, but I cannot fully
cover the donation costs. Would anyone want to go in with me?"
Or, as the OP suggested, pick a cause that you can afford.
#Post#: 40857--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: bopper Date: October 22, 2019, 9:08 am
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I don't know...it is feasible to sponsor a kid on your own, but
I know at work one person coordinated sponsoring a whole family
and asked for contributions.
I agree that I might be skeptical if this is a 2nd hand request
and you don't know the organization they are going through or
what the specific requests are from the family members.
#Post#: 40862--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: oogyda Date: October 22, 2019, 10:44 am
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1377.msg40852#msg40852
date=1571747407]
I agree. It's like they are trying to get the credit for this
wonderful thing, but not have to pay. Some alternatives that I
think that would be acceptable include contacting the
organization, saying that you can only donate X monies and see
if there is a way that that would be helpful to their cause. Or
I would not object if someone said, "I am interested in
sponsoring a family through X organization, but I cannot fully
cover the donation costs. Would anyone want to go in with me?"
Or, as the OP suggested, pick a cause that you can afford.
[/quote]
This is what I was thinking, too.
The more skeptical part of me is speculating that the donations
may not even reach the organization. Maybe she's "sponsoring"
her own kids!!!!
#Post#: 40883--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: andi Date: October 22, 2019, 6:57 pm
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At my old job we used to sponsor families through reputable
charitable organizations. We would discuss as a work group how
many children or families we felt we could take on and then post
the list of needs and wants so people could donate as they could
afford. As a work group, you were able to donate based on your
own finances.
I agree with the others, if you as an individual or as a family
decide to sponsor someone for the holidays, then it is you and
your family’s responsibility to come up with the donations.
Asking for donations when you are the one that signed up just
rubs me the wrong way.
#Post#: 40902--------------------------------------------------
Re: Asking for donations to cover your donation
By: IWish Date: October 23, 2019, 8:54 am
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"I'm sponsoring a family for Christmas. Please give money to me
to help out." = I'm not okay with that.
"I'm thinking of sponsoring a family for Christmas and want to
see if anyone else is willing to go in on it with me." = I'm
okay with that.
Sometimes it's just a case of poor wording. In the first
instance I might use my knowledge of the person's character to
decide their intent.
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