DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Life in General
*****************************************************
#Post#: 40814--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: October 21, 2019, 12:18 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: kittyfan43 link ---
>
> To respond to some of your questions...
> I didn't know how old the car was but I knew it had been
serviced within the last 6 weeks.
> My AAA account didn't allow for any more tows for free and I
didn't have any money to pay.
> I was kind of shocked at what had happened and wanted to in a
familiar place -given where it happened I honestly could have
been killed or killed someone else, but I did text the daughter
about the car and its where abouts within 30 minutes while on
the uber ride home. I didn't think it was a bad area. It was in
a downtown area of a well off suburb within a 24 hour CVS
parking lot. There were tons of upscale shops nearby and plenty
of traffic. The daughter waited 3 days to go and pick up the car
so I would have been waiting a long time.
>
> Now my back is screwed up and it never has been before and the
daughter just called to yell at me to go get her mother some
food so that was fun. No I didn't tell her about my back at the
time.
> I knew at the time I moved in that both mother and daughter
had some mental issues but I had no choice financially. The
daughter works in healthcare and has an anxiety disorder and can
get very paranoid. She has tried to suck me into hour long
conversations about issues with her mother, basically trying to
turn me into her therapist. Her daughter is definitely stressed
beyond reason due to this situation with her mother.
>
> I am looking for better paying jobs then the one I have
substitute teaching and my part time one working with an elderly
man on the side and if I find one that will allow me to move out
I will do so.
>
--- End Quote ---
I was not implying that you should pay for the tow. However, I
do think it is the responsibility of the borrower to stay with
the car until the owner can be contacted and towing arranged. I
get that it was a shocking experience but we are all capable
adults and we have to deal with emergencies as such. Given that
there was shops nearby, there was probably a coffee shop or cafe
near by where you could have gone to wait. If you needed medical
attention, police would have been called and they would have
dealt with arranging for the car.
The daughter should not have waited 3 days to go get the car but
I don't know where this was in relation to where she lives or
works. I'm very surprised the car was not towed by the parking
lot owner after being left there for that long.
If you really do not do well when dealing with emergencies you
probably don't want to place yourself in positions where it will
most likely be required, like staying with a woman with severe
dementia.
--- Quote from: oogyda link ---
>
> So, you thought the car would be okay since it had just been
serviced within 6 weeks. I think they thought the same thing.
Yet you blame them by saying "they really shouldn't have offered
to let me use such a dangerous car."
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree with this too. If the daughter never drives the car, she
can only rely on what she is told by the mechanic.
#Post#: 40818--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: October 21, 2019, 1:45 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hmmm link ---
>
> [quote author=oogyda link=topic=1375.msg40808#msg40808
date=1571671682]
> So, you thought the car would be okay since it had just been
serviced within 6 weeks. I think they thought the same thing.
Yet you blame them by saying "they really shouldn't have offered
to let me use such a dangerous car."
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree with this too. If the daughter never drives the car, she
can only rely on what she is told by the mechanic.
[/quote]
I just cannot see that perspective. Having a car "serviced"
recently means very little - for all the we know, it could have
been in for just an oil change. -They don't check the car out
for safety unless you pay extra for that. If you own a car, you
are responsible for making sure it is safe to drive. Because
the daughter is legally and financially responsible for her
mother with dementia, that is her job.
Yet she is knowingly allowing her Mother to drive. Does she
think her mother will be take responsibility for the state and
safety of the car? That she should be the one to notice if
something is wrong with the car? If the OP had been in a fatal
accident due to the brakes failing, it would not be the mechanic
who was held accountable. This is a woman who may be
overwhelmed but is not showing even the most basic
responsibility or concern for people on the road or for her
mother. It's a joke to think she would care if the OP was safe.
*I am very glad to live in a state that requires annual
inspections. The car as described by the OP would not be
allowed on the road in most places I have ever lived.
#Post#: 40822--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: oogyda
Date: October 21, 2019, 2:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Hanna link ---
>
> [quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1375.msg40814#msg40814
date=1571678282]
> [quote author=oogyda link=topic=1375.msg40808#msg40808
date=1571671682]
> So, you thought the car would be okay since it had just been
serviced within 6 weeks. I think they thought the same thing.
Yet you blame them by saying "they really shouldn't have offered
to let me use such a dangerous car."
>
>
--- End Quote ---
I agree with this too. If the daughter never drives the car, she
can only rely on what she is told by the mechanic.
[/quote]
I just cannot see that perspective. Having a car "serviced"
recently means very little - for all the we know, it could have
been in for just an oil change. -They don't check the car out
for safety unless you pay extra for that. If you own a car, you
are responsible for making sure it is safe to drive. Because
the daughter is legally and financially responsible for her
mother with dementia, that is her job.
Yet she is knowingly allowing her Mother to drive. Does she
think her mother will be take responsibility for the state and
safety of the car? That she should be the one to notice if
something is wrong with the car? If the OP had been in a fatal
accident due to the brakes failing, it would not be the mechanic
who was held accountable. This is a woman who may be
overwhelmed but is not showing even the most basic
responsibility or concern for people on the road or for her
mother. It's a joke to think she would care if the OP was safe.
*I am very glad to live in a state that requires annual
inspections. The car as described by the OP would not be
allowed on the road in most places I have ever lived.
[/quote]
Annual inspections do not guard against future failures. If the
braking system is intact and functioning appropriately at the
time of inspection, it will pass. I, too live in a state with
annual inspections and have had a brake line rupture due to rust
3 months after the last inspection. I know my state does not
inspect every inch of brakelne, hoses or wiring.
I just don't think the daughter should have known the car was
unsafe in that regard.
I do think the daughter is negligent if she's allowing mom to
drive, but it seems to me the daughter is being completely
negligent in regards to the mom.
#Post#: 40828--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: kittyfan43
Date: October 21, 2019, 5:28 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
So I went to my doctor today and he thinks that I had a delayed
stress reaction to tensing up during the near crash. Also he
thinks these 2 women are contributing to my body's stress
reaction. He thinks it is both in other words. He suggested that
I write her a letter or a text as a way to open dialogue.
Dealing with both of these women is like handling live hand
grenades. I wish I could afford to move. I can't really offer to
pay for part of an accident that I didn't cause as it is I had
to go to a food bank to shore up my own finances today and
leaving the doctor's office. If she ever took me up on it I have
no idea how I would make good on this.
This is what I have come up with so far:
I had an appointment with my doctor today and he suggested that
I write you a note about the car problems. What do you think
that I could have done differently about the car? Is there a
better way that I could have handled the situation?
I am and have always been willing to get her food as long as it
is safe for me to drive regardless of whatever reason she needs
my help. I am also willing to order her food online or do some
shopping for her. I am also always willing to call 911 and you
whenever I notice any medical issues and be aware of any strange
people around the house that might hurt your mother.
Please let me know what I can buy your mother the night before
so that I can provide her with some food ahead of time or if
there is something that I can prepare for her ahead of time
before I leave as I leave very early in the morning.
#Post#: 40837--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: Runningstar
Date: October 21, 2019, 8:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: kittyfan43 link ---
>
> Backstory: I live with an elderly woman with dementia, All I
have to do is make sure squatters don't move into the house and
help her after hours if there is an emergency. I have been
encouraged to work full time. All I have to do is stay there
overnight while I am asleep and if anyone is there that
shouldn't be kick them out and also call the daughter or 911 if
she is in pain or looks very sick.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think that you did the right thing to leave the car after the
accident, taking care of the mother would be my first concern.
You agreed to be there after hours for a woman with dementia,
and you left the car and went home. That imo took precedence
over staying with a disabled vehicle.
Also, back pain isn't always evident immediately. I was rear
ended in an accident a few years ago and I told my insurance
agent that I was fine - and they warned me that it can take a
few days to show up.
#Post#: 40849--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: October 22, 2019, 6:33 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: oogyda link ---
>
>
> Annual inspections do not guard against future failures. If
the braking system is intact and functioning appropriately at
the time of inspection, it will pass. I, too live in a state
with annual inspections and have had a brake line rupture due to
rust 3 months after the last inspection. I know my state does
not inspect every inch of brakelne, hoses or wiring.
>
> I just don't think the daughter should have known the car was
unsafe in that regard.
>
> I do think the daughter is negligent if she's allowing mom to
drive, but it seems to me the daughter is being completely
negligent in regards to the mom.
>
--- End Quote ---
I do not disagree with you, but I do see a distinction between
“should have known” and having responsibility. Maybe she had no
way to know but she is still responsible - meaning there is no
reason the OP should give her any money.
#Post#: 40850--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: NewHomeowner
Date: October 22, 2019, 6:42 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I work part-time in a garage. Any mechanic worth his license
would not have let a car with BRAKES that bad leave the shop
without at least a warning. Actually, the boss of the shop
where I work wouldn't have let the car leave at all. He'd fix
the BRAKES and let them know to pay when they could. He will
not let a dangerous car go back on the road.
So they need to lose that mechanic. He's a shyster.
#Post#: 40854--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: cymbaline246
Date: October 22, 2019, 7:47 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Leaving a car for three days is increasing the chances for it to
be vandalized. A car that old and driven seldom is bound to
have problems. I'm puzzled that Homeowner and Homeowner's
daughter didn't each have membership in a roadside assistance
company for that reason, and either one of those accounts could
have been used to tow the car.
If my mechanic fixed things for nothing and let people drive
away in the cars, I suspect he'd be broke.
I think I'd be renting a room and cashiering at the CVS rather
than deal with these people. It sounds like Mom should have
professional help.
#Post#: 40856--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: October 22, 2019, 8:30 am
---------------------------------------------------------
--- Quote from: Runningstar link ---
>
> [quote author=kittyfan43 link=topic=1375.msg40730#msg40730
date=1571528590]
> Backstory: I live with an elderly woman with dementia, All I
have to do is make sure squatters don't move into the house and
help her after hours if there is an emergency. I have been
encouraged to work full time. All I have to do is stay there
overnight while I am asleep and if anyone is there that
shouldn't be kick them out and also call the daughter or 911 if
she is in pain or looks very sick.
>
--- End Quote ---
I think that you did the right thing to leave the car after the
accident, taking care of the mother would be my first concern.
You agreed to be there after hours for a woman with dementia,
and you left the car and went home. That imo took precedence
over staying with a disabled vehicle.
Also, back pain isn't always evident immediately. I was rear
ended in an accident a few years ago and I told my insurance
agent that I was fine - and they warned me that it can take a
few days to show up.
[/quote]
The OP stated she works full time. There is nothing in the story
to indicate she needed to immediately get to the mother.
#Post#: 40858--------------------------------------------------
Re: I borrowed a car from someone and it was vandalized! Should
I offer to pay the deductible?
DIR By: Hanna
Date: October 22, 2019, 9:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Hmmm, There’s also nothing to indicate the daughter would have
done anything differently regarding picking up the car sooner
had the OP been standing next to it when she let her know what
happened.
*****************************************************
Page 3 of 7
DIR Previous Page
DIR Next Page