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#Post#: 40638--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: TootsNYC Date: October 18, 2019, 9:57 am
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[quote author=gmatoy link=topic=1370.msg40616#msg40616
date=1571357545]
As someone who has several friends that did foster to adopt, and
loves that you have a heart for these children, I think you ask
upfront and listen when she answers. Oh, and ignore your cousin.
I've lived in a small town and your actions, in this case,
aren't going to harm her at all.
[/quote]
I'm agreeing with this point.
And on the small-town part: Your reputation with Amy is already
settled. You don't need to worry that you're harming it, or that
you will change how she sees you.
Maybe I'd give Amy a call and say, "I had some things that I
wanted to just send straight to the foster-care folks, without
trying to get money out of them. Would you be willing to pass
them along for me with your regular shipment to them? Or would
that be taking advantage of you, and should I just get them
there on my own?"
So I would just say, "I thought, since these are actually
annoying for air travel, that I'd like these to just go straight
to the foster-care folks; I think they'd really find them useful
in a way that most customers wouldn't. What do you think?"
Then Amy can say, "Oh, I think they'll sell quickly," and then
you can decide. Or if she hesitates.
But I think that you are regularly providing Amy with a source
of supply for her business, and there is goodwill that you can
capitalize on.
#Post#: 40640--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: TootsNYC Date: October 18, 2019, 10:00 am
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[quote]My mom has a theory that cousin wants the luggage but
after I said that I wanted it to go to foster kids she couldn't
ask for it directly so if cousin gets me to consign it, cousin
can buy it. (It's the same thing my husband said when I got off
the phone with cousin. They may be on to something.)[/quote]
What's that saying? "Thou shalt not covet..."
#Post#: 40649--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: Winterlight Date: October 18, 2019, 11:04 am
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I think it's pretty reasonable, given your relationship with
Amy, to say, "Hey, I've got these cases which are no longer
workable for air travel. Would you want them for foster kids?"
Cousin is being rather silly about it.
#Post#: 40650--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: NFPwife Date: October 18, 2019, 11:23 am
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I called Amy this morning and, taking some of the advice here
into account, started by asking if she had a couple minutes,
then said "I have a couple suitcases that aren't good for air
travel and I wanted to get them straight to foster kids. I know
you have some connections there. How would I go about it?" She
gave me her contact, Mimi, who lives in our same town! I left a
message for Mimi.
Thank you all! I'm so glad I posted because asking in the softer
way got me the contact, which is going to be really beneficial
to me long-term. I have some housewares that would be good for a
young person transitioning out of care that I haven't gotten
around to donating or consigning. Maybe I'll just invite Mimi
over to the house. :D
My relationship with Amy didn't seem damaged or impacted at all
by the ask. She was really upbeat and chatted for a few seconds
after I asked.
#Post#: 40655--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: NFPwife Date: October 18, 2019, 11:48 am
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1370.msg40640#msg40640
date=1571410811]
[quote]My mom has a theory that cousin wants the luggage but
after I said that I wanted it to go to foster kids she couldn't
ask for it directly so if cousin gets me to consign it, cousin
can buy it. (It's the same thing my husband said when I got off
the phone with cousin. They may be on to something.)[/quote]
What's that saying? "Thou shalt not covet..."
[/quote]
Exactly! The more I think about it, the more mom and DH might be
right. I was so annoyed with cousin, and feeling a little blind
sided by her response and the intensity of it, that it didn't
occur to that she might be angling for them.
#Post#: 40660--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: TootsNYC Date: October 18, 2019, 1:09 pm
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[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=1370.msg40650#msg40650
date=1571415799]
... "... I wanted to get them straight to foster kids. I know
you have some connections there. How would I go about it?" She
gave me her contact, Mimi, who lives in our same town! I left a
message for Mimi.
[/quote]
Brilliant!
#Post#: 40661--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it?
By: TootsNYC Date: October 18, 2019, 1:10 pm
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[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=1370.msg40655#msg40655
date=1571417339]
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1370.msg40640#msg40640
date=1571410811]
[quote]My mom has a theory that cousin wants the luggage but
after I said that I wanted it to go to foster kids she couldn't
ask for it directly so if cousin gets me to consign it, cousin
can buy it. (It's the same thing my husband said when I got off
the phone with cousin. They may be on to something.)[/quote]
What's that saying? "Thou shalt not covet..."
[/quote]
Exactly! The more I think about it, the more mom and DH might be
right. I was so annoyed with cousin, and feeling a little blind
sided by her response and the intensity of it, that it didn't
occur to that she might be angling for them.
[/quote]
And this is evidence of why that particular thing is listed
among the Big Ten.
It's really damaging.
I know people have made fun of me before for what seems to be an
obsession with this, but now that I've seen what coveting really
is, and how it manifests, I see it everywhere.
#Post#: 40695--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it? Update #13
By: LifeOnPluto Date: October 19, 2019, 12:31 am
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Great ending! I was going to say that it sounds like you have a
good rapport with Amy (ie you aren't just some random customer),
so in this instance, I certainly don't think it hurt to have
asked.
#Post#: 40702--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it? Update #13
By: RubyCat Date: October 19, 2019, 6:17 am
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[quote author=LifeOnPluto link=topic=1370.msg40695#msg40695
date=1571463064]
Great ending! I was going to say that it sounds like you have a
good rapport with Amy (ie you aren't just some random customer),
so in this instance, I certainly don't think it hurt to have
asked.
[/quote]
I totally agree. Instead of damaging your relationship with Amy
(and the family's reputation in the community, lol), you've
strengthened it by sharing an interest in the same cause. And
benefited the foster children. It's a beautiful thing :)
#Post#: 40760--------------------------------------------------
Re: It doesn't hurt to ask. Or does it? Update #13
By: NFPwife Date: October 20, 2019, 12:30 pm
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Mimi and I connected yesterday and I received Mimi's
"orientation." I really like Mimi, she has a heart for the
mission and is funny and a tad irreverent. My favorite kind of
person!
Besides Mimi definitely wanting the luggage here are couple
gems from the call -Mimi explained that she needs clothing from
infant to 5xl and that it should be age appropriate for teens. I
said, "I'm at midlife to but still dressing a little young." She
said, "I know, I can tell from your voice."
🤣😂🤣 (I also told her I get ThredUp
rescue boxes once in a while and the things that are too young
will go straight to her.)
Mimi was explaining that things need to be in good shape, no
stains etc. She gave some examples of what people wanted to
donate and got offended when she refused (a dead husband's
entire wardrobe and another deceased husband's underwear :o . )
Mimi said, "I'm tired of hearing 'They lived through the
depression and can't throw anything away,' they've had 80 years.
Get over it!"
Mimi also does things for fire victims so I can send housewares
to her.
Cousin's strong response and all of your thoughtful replies
kicked me into action. I'd been in a "fixin' to fix" state of
mind basically "I should probably get around to..." and this
spurred me straight into getting it done.
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