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       #Post#: 39784--------------------------------------------------
       Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: jpcher Date: October 3, 2019, 5:54 pm
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       I'm in a quandary about my annual horse radish party.
       DD#1 and her BFsam will be flying here from far away state for
       Niece's wedding on Thursday, Oct. 31. They leave here on
       Saturday. So in order to have the party with them in attendance
       the party needs to be on Friday . . . the day after Niece's
       wedding.
       I talked to Niece's mom a couple of weeks ago asking about not
       stepping on her parade the day after the wedding. She said no
       stepping, no problem. She will have out of town guests and don't
       know what their plans are.
       I've mentioned the HR party and tentative plans to my other SIL
       and know that at the end of the month she can't take any time
       off of work. She and her DH won't be able to come until after
       6pm.
       There's another niece and her DH, along with the sister of the
       bride that I could/should invite . . . but the day after a
       wedding?
       Should I formally invite all? Knowing that their responses will
       probably be a "No."
       #Post#: 39786--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: oogyda Date: October 3, 2019, 6:42 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I am, admittedly, a little selfish when it comes to spending
       time with my DDs and wouldn't be inclined to have a party on the
       one night they have free during their visit.  Especially when
       time with them is infrequent due to distance.  I would most
       emphatically check to see what their preference is.
       That said, if I were to host the party,  I'd invite whomever I
       would like to attend regardless of what I think/know their
       answer might be.
       #Post#: 39792--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: Rose Red Date: October 3, 2019, 8:40 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Invite everyone that you usually invite. They can RSVP no if
       they can't make it this year. Plans can change and people may be
       able to make it after all and it's nice to know they'd be
       welcome.
       #Post#: 39797--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: Rho Date: October 3, 2019, 10:43 pm
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       Does the HR party HAVE to be November 1?
       My story is the annual Fourth of July Bar-B-Q in my back yard
       didn't happen this year.  Two out of three out of town children
       plus two grandsons were here July 2---7 and no way was I going
       to spend two days preparing for and entertaining 40 in town
       guests.  A few closer friends were invited on Labor Day for a
       Bar-B-Q.
       Ask your daughter her preferences.
       Are you willing to go to a wedding one night and entertain the
       next?
       #Post#: 39799--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: Aleko Date: October 4, 2019, 1:14 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       I would invite everyone I would normally invite, adding 'I'm
       afraid this was the only possible day, as DD#1 and BFSam have to
       fly home the day after. We'd love to see you if you can come,
       but will totally understand if it's just one too many for you;
       don't feel obligated." Or some such wording.
       BTW: I've never heard of a horseradish party. Is that a usual
       thing where you are, or just a family tradition? What does it
       entail?
       #Post#: 39802--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: AvidReader Date: October 4, 2019, 6:49 am
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       Invite whomever to whatever size social function you host.  I
       would think that many folks would want to take advantage (in a
       good way) of the presence of so many people coming in from
       out-of-town for a wedding, that a number of get-togethers of any
       size could be planned without the appearance of stepping on
       someone else's parade.
       #Post#: 39818--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: Hmmm Date: October 4, 2019, 11:03 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Aleko link=topic=1356.msg39799#msg39799
       date=1570169693]
       I would invite everyone I would normally invite, adding 'I'm
       afraid this was the only possible day, as DD#1 and BFSam have to
       fly home the day after. We'd love to see you if you can come,
       but will totally understand if it's just one too many for you;
       don't feel obligated." Or some such wording.
       BTW: I've never heard of a horseradish party. Is that a usual
       thing where you are, or just a family tradition? What does it
       entail?
       [/quote]
       I agree with this. Invite whomever you would normally invite.
       They can decide if it fits into their schedule or level of
       interest in additional socializing. I know in our family it can
       become quit normal for a cousin to host something after a
       weekend family wedding to give the cousin's and other relatives
       to catch up in a more relaxed environment.
       #Post#: 39821--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: lisastitch Date: October 4, 2019, 11:17 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       Invite the people you would normally invite.  Include any
       out-of-town guests you might not normally invite, but who might
       be able to come because they're in town.  Don't apologize, and
       say that this is the only day you could do it.
       It's the day you have chosen to give the party for [reasons],
       and it works in your schedule, and that's all that matters.  (I
       struggle with this--we give an annual Oktoberfest, which is
       often in conflict with Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur, and one
       couple often can't make it because of that.  But since I work
       every other Saturday, and try to avoid taking Saturday off, my
       selection of Saturdays is VERY limited!)
       No matter what day you give the party, there will be people who
       won't be able to come.
       And have fun!
       #Post#: 39823--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: TootsNYC Date: October 4, 2019, 11:38 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1356.msg39792#msg39792
       date=1570153243]
       Invite everyone that you usually invite. They can RSVP no if
       they can't make it this year. Plans can change and people may be
       able to make it after all and it's nice to know they'd be
       welcome.
       [/quote]
       I agree.
       And also, the night after a wedding, there really should be no
       concerns about "stepping on anybody's toes" or overshadowing
       anyone, etc.
       It's nice that you checked, and the answer was fine--but people
       in general don't need to check about that sort of thing.
       My cousin revealed she was pregnant shortly before my wedding,
       and her mom wanted to host a family shower for her the afternoon
       before my wedding, so she asked. I'd have been fine with it; I
       was a little bemused at being asked, but I understood that maybe
       some people would have thought of the wedding as a full
       weekend's worth of activities.
       She ended up not doing it.
       #Post#: 39824--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Who to send invitations to . . .
       By: lowspark Date: October 4, 2019, 12:00 pm
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       [quote author=lisastitch link=topic=1356.msg39821#msg39821
       date=1570205835]
       No matter what day you give the party, there will be people who
       won't be able to come.
       [/quote]
       This.
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