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       #Post#: 39927--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Is this normal?
       By: Chez Miriam Date: October 7, 2019, 4:49 am
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       [quote author=Hanna link=topic=1355.msg39827#msg39827
       date=1570212868]
       I think with *most* people there is an option C
       c) figure out a way to make the point without ticking the person
       off.
       In my case, I am not entirely sure she WAS making more than me,
       but she had the relationship with the CEO and was a raving
       lunatic and very comfortable exhibiting the type of behavior
       that gives women a bad rap at work.  I just decided I didn't
       want to keep working there any more because of these two so I
       was willing to resist.  The CEO was brought in after a really
       tragic death of the owner.  He was pillaging the place and not a
       guy I would have EVER taken a job working for in the first
       place.  It was my pleasure to tell him that.
       [/quote]
       You are absolutely right about option C, Hanna - I forgot!
       I think it was because the bloke I was describing was completely
       impervious to logic. ::)  I had already, repeatedly, tried to
       make various (different) points with him over the months, and
       before his boss retired on disability [i.e. wasn't supposed to
       happen until he was 'up to speed'], I invariably had her
       responding "ah, good point; let's do it the way you suggested".
       I don't know if there is any truth to the accusation, but
       every.single.one of the former forces employees [there were a
       lot] told me he was former military police [MP] and that he was
       a "b*st*rd; all MPs are b*st*rds".  I genuinely don't know what
       other MPs are like, but I do know he was directly responsible
       for two former colleagues going off on long-term sick with
       stress (turns out there are a lot of people I've known who don't
       respond well to screaming tirades; I don't).
       I guess I must be a bad boss magnet?  I know I've written about
       two former bosses who also used to scream at their employees;
       it's odd how a situation of wondering when is your next turn to
       be screamed at (for no reason) can be stressful. :'(
       #Post#: 40248--------------------------------------------------
       Re: Is this normal?
       By: LifeOnPluto Date: October 11, 2019, 11:34 pm
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       OP, I work in the legal services sector too, and what you
       describe is NOT normal. Especially Jim asking why you haven't
       "made him" do his own job! It also sounds like the problem is
       exacerbated by the fact that none of these tasks sound
       time-critical. Ie, I'm assuming it's not a case of Jim needing
       to file important documents in court or anything like that?
       I like the idea of saying to Jim straight up: "Jim, I've noticed
       that several times, you've asked me why I haven't made you do
       XYZ tasks. What exactly do you mean by that? Are you asking me
       to send you reminders, or something different?"
       I'd also then start making a list of all matters that you've
       sent to Jim, and the dates on which you sent them to him. If a
       certain period of time passes (say, a week), and you haven't
       heard anything back from Jim, I'd chase him up. Eg "Hey Jim,
       just wondering whether you've had a chance to consider the ABC
       file yet?"
       If Jim is amenable, I'd also set up regular catch-up meetings
       with him (say, once a week), where you run through a list of
       things you are working on for Jim.
       Hopefully that will alleviate much of the problem, and won't
       give Jim any grounds to accuse you of not "making him" do his
       job. Further, and at the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna, I
       think toxic workplaces who fire employees for speaking out
       (politely) against incredibly unreasonable orders are the
       exception, rather than the norm. (And if they do fire you -
       bullet dodged!).
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