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#Post#: 39539--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Titanica Date: September 30, 2019, 10:38 am
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Back when I was getting married, the only "rule" was that the
MOB and MOG were supposed to complement the colors of the bridal
party.
I know I told this story on the old forum, but here it is again,
just for fun.
My mother-in-law-to-be came to me very upset because she'd asked
my mother what color she was going to wear for our wedding.
Apparently, my mother told her she wasn't sure yet, but she had
a blue dress she had bought for my brother's wedding a few
months earlier, and might wear that. (My bridal party was going
to be burgundy and dusty rose.) So MIL was all in a tizzy
because according to her, the MOB was supposed to wear pink and
the MOG was supposed to wear blue, unless the MOB wore blue, in
which case the MOG must wear pink. All regardless of the bridal
party colors. I have no idea at all where that came from.
Now, you have to understand, this was my mother's MO. She got a
weird kick out of not providing something she knew someone was
waiting for. She also had to make it known that this was all of
little importance to her (hence, the "I'll just wear a dress I
already have" bit). I told MIL to just forget about it and wear
whatever she wanted, and if my mother ended up not matching or
not coordinating, well, that was on her. No, no, no, MIL kept
saying, she HAD to know what my mother was wearing.
As it turned out, my mother wore a beautiful pink dress, which
she bought new. (I figured she would. Recycling a mother's
dress for a wedding wasn't her style, even though I really
didn't care). And my MIL wore an absolutely stunning royal blue
dress that looks gorgeous on her. It didn't match the
bridesmaids, but I couldn't have cared less; it was still
beautiful.
#Post#: 39547--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Hmmm Date: September 30, 2019, 12:27 pm
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Titanica, that is funny. I've never heard the blue/pink idea for
MOB/MOG attire.
I've just been thinking that all of the "rules" didn't exist
before 1960's when color photography became mainstream.
#Post#: 39550--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: STiG Date: September 30, 2019, 12:53 pm
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My MIL was worried about what she was going to wear for our
wedding. I told her she could wear whatever she liked, as long
as it was a step up from jeans. No MOB to coordinate with.
When I was a bridesmaid for a friend, the 5 of us - the bride,
the MOB and the three bridesmaids - went shopping for shoes for
all of us and the MOB's dress. She tried on one that we thought
looked fabulous but MOB wasn't sure so we continued on. She
ended up trying on a navy dress that was in no way similar to
the wedding party's navy dresses. We could tell she really
liked this one but she was worried about wearing the same
colour. The bride told her, 'Mom, you obviously feel like this
dress suits you best; buy it and wear it. Who cares what colour
it is!' The MOG had actually already picked out her dress
before we went shopping so I guess she didn't get the memo that
the MOB is supposed to pick first.
#Post#: 39553--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: baritone108 Date: September 30, 2019, 1:34 pm
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The only rule I'd ever heard of is that the MOB and MOG are not
supposed to look like members of the wedding party. When my
daughter was married the MOG and I each bought dresses which fit
the formality of the occasion and complimented us. We did not
consult with each other and she found her dress first, which did
not bother me at all.
#Post#: 39555--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: lakey Date: September 30, 2019, 2:18 pm
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I have never heard of any of these rules. I never heard any rule
about MOB in Catholic weddings wearing blue. That is probably a
local custom. I've had 4 siblings get married in church weddings
and a good 40 first cousins. In most cases there wasn't a lot of
consulting between MOB and MOG. They picked dressy outfits that
they liked and weren't too concerned with complementing
bridesmaids. They all had the good sense to not pick fire engine
red or anything outlandish. I've never been to a wedding where
the MOB or MOG looked wrong.
It seems like when people overthink these wedding details, they
add to the stress of wedding planning and take away from the
enjoyment.
By the way, I love the current trend of brides telling their
bridesmaids to pick a dress they like in a particular color,
rather than all of them having the same dress. The last time I
was a bridesmaid I was in my mid thirties. There were four of us
thirty somethings wearing what looked like identical prom
dresses. I felt ridiculous. My point is that we like to pick out
clothes that flatter us and make us feel good. We are different
heights, weight, and coloring. A style, length, or color that
looks good on one person may look awful on another. The same is
true of the MOB and MOG with regard to color. Even if they pick
the same color, they will probably be different shades and
styles. With everything that has to be dealt with in planning a
wedding, the mothers stressing out over hats, dress colors, who
picks first, just all seems counter productive.
#Post#: 39558--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: whiterose Date: September 30, 2019, 2:52 pm
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I actually searched for suitable dresses for my MIL (MOG). She
picked her favorite. It worked well and she looked great. She
may even wear it again.
I purchased the dresses for my two bridesmaids. Maid of Honor
does NOT like pink, dresses, or pink dresses. Matron of Honor
loves both- but was not able to have attendants wear pink at her
wedding. So I bought a blue dress for the Maid and a pink one
for the Matron. They loved them. I did purchase them at my
favorite clothing store- not the wedding store where I bought my
dress through their website.
For the flower girls, their parents took them shopping for
dresses one weekend day. They texted pics of the dresses to my
groom and I- and we gave our approval. Winning dresses were blue
with pink flowers- so they worked with the bridesmaids dresses.
I have not heard any rules other than to dress suitably for the
weather, time of day, and formality of the ceremony and
reception. Ours was a morning ceremony and early afternoon lunch
in the springtime in a Southeastern USA state.
#Post#: 39564--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Rose Red Date: September 30, 2019, 4:11 pm
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I never heard of the rule that the MOB picks first. What's the
reasoning? Doesn't seem fair to me. Seems like it's going along
with the silly idea that the wedding is "the bride's day."
#Post#: 39570--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Aleko Date: September 30, 2019, 5:03 pm
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[quote]I've just been thinking that all these rules didn't exist
before 1960's when colour photography became mainstream.[/quote]
But perhaps more importantly they didn't exist when a wedding
was seen as an occasion where friends and family gathered to
witness and celebrate the couple's transition into a new
personal and social state, rather than a performed spectacle
requiring appropriately cast roles, rehearsals and coordinated
costuming.
[quote]And the Virgin Mary is depicted wearing blue because it
was supposedly the colour of MOTHERHOOD, not Virginity.[/quote]
Anybody who supposes that, supposes wrong. It wasn't, and isn't.
None of the other mother-saints in the Christian canon (e.g. St
Anne, St Elizabeth) are routinely shown wearing blue. In fact
Mary herself wasn't, for the first 200 years or so when she was
only thought of as Christ's mother. But pressure grew for her to
be elevated to a special status, as Queen of Heaven and the
prime intercessor, and as that change took place it became
normal to give her a robe of blue such as was worn in Byzantium
only by empresses, and which was created for paintings by
crushed lapis lazuli, a precious stone imported from
Afghanistan, the most expensive of all pigments. Its use
stressed the specialness of Mary, and her difference from
ordinary mothers.
#Post#: 39584--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Hello Ducky Date: September 30, 2019, 11:48 pm
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if Catholic MOGs really wear blue, does anyone know why? Given
that blue is the colour of the Virgin Mary, it seems on the face
of it thoroughly inappropriate!
So no one can wear blue in a religious setting? I see it as a
sign of respect for her.
#Post#: 39587--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Aleko Date: October 1, 2019, 12:19 am
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[quote]So no one can wear blue in a religious setting? [/quote]
Of course I didn't mean that! I meant that for the mother of the
bride at a Catholic wedding to be 'allotted' the Virgin Mary's
colour is weird and illogical, given that one thing she by
definition can't be is a virgin! Whereas the rule Titanica
mentions, of the MOB wearing pink and the MOG wearing blue,
while as silly and impertinent as any other demand to govern the
clothing choices of a grown-up woman at a family event, is at
least logical.
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