DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Weddings
*****************************************************
#Post#: 39467--------------------------------------------------
Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: September 28, 2019, 10:13 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
This subject came up today with some friends.
Dana's daughter is getting married, and she was showing us
photos of the dress she had bought for the ceremony. The dress
is a wrap dress, made of a fine knit, light gold in color, with
a little metallic glint of gold running through the wool used to
make the knit, pretty subtle, but when the light hits it right,
it does have a metallic gold shine to it. Dana went on to say
that the MOG was trying hard to find the same dress, because she
thought MOB and MOG had to match. Dana said, "And I keep telling
her that the MOB and MOG can't match."
Sandy looked a little puzzled, and said, "Is that a rule? I
never heard that before."
I said that I thought that they should not be an exact match
because it looks a little too matchy-matchy, but Dana insisted
that it was a rule of etiquette.
Has anyone ever heard this before? I am confident that it isn't
a rule, but what surprised me is that anyone would even hold
this belief. I have never heard anything besides the mothers
should not try to outdress the bride, and Dana was acting like
this was set in stone.
#Post#: 39476--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: AvidReader Date: September 29, 2019, 6:58 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Only thing I've ever heard concerning the MOG at the wedding is
that she should "show up, be silent, and wear beige." About as
old school as it gets. And just to show how old school, when we
married 37 years ago, DMIL indeed wore beige. She had a great
sense of humor and I believe this expression may have come from
her.
#Post#: 39477--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: gramma dishes Date: September 29, 2019, 7:22 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=AvidReader link=topic=1350.msg39476#msg39476
date=1569758317]
Only thing I've ever heard concerning the MOG at the wedding is
that she should "show up, be silent, and wear beige." About as
old school as it gets. And just to show how old school, when we
married 37 years ago, DMIL indeed wore beige. She had a great
sense of humor and I believe this expression may have come from
her.
[/quote]
That expression has been around for decades and unless we have
the same DMIL, it didn't originate with her but it is a 'rule'
many follow. The basic idea was that MOGs aren't supposed to
be particularly noticeable.
#Post#: 39478--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Rose Red Date: September 29, 2019, 7:31 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I think it's weird if both mothers wear the same dress on
purpose. In fact, all the stories I've heard are of the mothers
going out of their way to avoid wearing the same dress.
Otherwise it'll look like some kind of singing sister act.
Haven't she seen weddings in the movies or tv? The mothers never
wear the same dress. Has she been to real life weddings where it
happened? ??? I can't think of were she got that idea.
#Post#: 39479--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Thitpualso Date: September 29, 2019, 8:37 am
---------------------------------------------------------
In my experience, MOBs at Catholic Weddings usually wear blue.
MOGs often do wear beige but both practices are just matters of
personal choice.
#Post#: 39480--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Nestholder Date: September 29, 2019, 8:41 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I have a tenuous memory of my stepmother being somewhat put out
because my soon-to-be-MIL showed her the dress MIL had bought
for our wedding. Stepmother considered that she had the right
to first pick on colour. I've never heard that anywhere else,
anyway.
I can't imagine why anybody would want the maternal units to
match like superannuated bridesmaids. But (as a potential,
one-day MOB) I am happy to maintain that the MOB should have The
Best Hat.
#Post#: 39498--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Aleko Date: September 29, 2019, 4:20 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I remember that in the run-up to my wedding 28 years ago, my
fiancé's mother kept asking me anxiously whether my mother would
wear a hat to the wedding. I said I had absolutely no idea what
Mum was planning to wear, that not being any of my business; but
most likely not as, though Mum was a handsome elegant woman,
somehow very few hats suited her face. My MIL-to-be's face fell,
and she said oh dear what a pity, because 'of course' she
couldn't possibly wear a hat if the MOB didn't. I said I had
never heard of such a thing and neither had my Mum, that as far
as we were concerned a wedding party wasn't a chess set where
all the pieces have to match, and both of them should just dress
as they saw fit.
For the record, like Pierrotlunaire0 I have never heard any rule
other than that the MOG should dress neither like a bride or a
bridesmaid. (I would be amazed if the person who coined the
'wear beige' thing meant it literally, rather than simply
meaning 'don't try to take the limelight from the bride'.) And
of course if MOG and MOB wore matching outfits they really would
look like a pair of superannuated bridesmaids; it would be
embarrassingly weird.
Edited to add: if Catholic MOGs really wear blue, does anyone
know why? Given that blue is the colour of the Virgin Mary, it
seems on the face of it thoroughly inappropriate!
#Post#: 39505--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Asharah Date: September 29, 2019, 7:16 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[emoji156]Okay, what I've heard is MOB should pick her dress
first. And then tell MOG what color she's wearing so MOG can
select a different color.
And The Virgin Mary is depicted wearing blue because it was
supposedly a color associated with MOTHERHOOD, not with
Virginity.
#Post#: 39523--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: Hmmm Date: September 30, 2019, 9:08 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I don't know if it is an etiquette rule, but I did always think
it was a fashion rule. In my experience, the only time adult
women would appear in matching outfits for a social event would
be if they were bridesmaids or are trying to be ironic in some
way.
Here's a good article from Martha Stewart that outlines what I
always thought of the general guidelines. Bride provides some
guidelines on color or style if she has any, MOB selects a dress
and shares with MOG who then selects one that is similar in
formality and doesn't clash and isn't too matchy.
HTML https://www.marthastewartweddings.com/624852/coordinating-wedding-attire-mothers-of-the-bride-groom
#Post#: 39534--------------------------------------------------
Re: Rules for MOB and MOG wear
By: TootsNYC Date: September 30, 2019, 10:10 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I have seen that they are supposed to coordinate. And to not
match.
The MOB chooses her dress first deliberately so that the MOG can
find something that isn't the same but will coordinate.
I think Dana should say, "Please do NOT dress too much like me.
I'd be uncomfortable with that." Even if etiquette would allow
them to match, she gets to override that. She can't tell the MOG
what -to- wear, but I think she can tell her what -not- to wear.
And the bride can say, "I want variety in the pictures; please
wear something different from my mom, so that you stand out."
[quote] (I would be amazed if the person who coined the 'wear
beige' thing meant it literally, rather than simply meaning
'don't try to take the limelight from the bride'.) [/quote]
No, they meant "don't take the limelight from the hostess of the
wedding, the MOB." And maybe "don't clash with the bridesmaids."
If they were worried about the bride, they'd say "don't wear
white."
The idea of beige is that it goes with everything; nobody has to
worry that you clash with the bridesmaids, or the MOB. It's a
"go along, get along," color.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page