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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 41489--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Despedina Date: November 5, 2019, 11:21 am
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Well I have to say the day was a bit of a mess. Even my BIL who
was the groom said as much. Apparently 2 days before a text
went out to everyone except us asking people to help with
certain things. Part was an invite to the bachelor party which
we opted out of on Friday night then the rest was asking people
to show at 9 am to start decorating. The only reason I found out
was because my daughter got the text and sent it to me later.
When the decorator volunteers showed up they were not allowed
entry until much later (venue never agreed to allowing them to
enter that early).
We had been asked to arrive approx. 3pm for the 4:30 pm wedding.
We left our home at 1:30 for the 1 hr drive and as we were
pulling out of the garage MIL called in a bit of a panic asking
if we were almost there. Apparently the decorator volunteers
were way behind on setting up.
When we arrived we entered the venue and there were 3 guys I
didn't recognize setting up. The couple had purchased EVERYTHING
themselves for décor and had a uhaul outside full of it. All
the tables had different candelabras / salt pepper shakers /
candles / butter dishes / place settings and small origami
animals to put on the tables There was also the gift to the
guests which was a box with chocolate truffles inside. This was
a huge undertaking for the volunteers to set up. There was a
slight chance of rain so they also had set up a flower canopy in
the front for the ceremony. I found my 25 year old niece in the
back cutting potatoes. Only the meat was provided by a caterer
so several in the wedding party were cooking everything else.
The ceremony itself was half an hour late. My son was not even
really used. He escorted MIL out of the back room to sit down.
After the ceremony all the wedding party went outside with no
announcement. The guests were confused and a couple of plates of
cheese / crackers and frozen shrimp were put out. I don't think
most people knew when/if the meal would be served and at least 1
table got up and left. The only bar items provided were a few
single bottles that the couple had bought over the last year.
Maybe a total of a dozen different bottles and it was gone
pretty fast.
The wedding party came back in about an hour later and was
introduced. The DJ pronounced the grooms (also my and another
BIL)'s last name incorrectly 3 times. I did go up and tell him
politely as it was very wrong and he thanked me and said no one
had told him. The meal was pretty good and there were TONS of
leftovers. The music then started and the couple did their
first dance, then the whole wedding party went to the back room
that they had changed in and didn't come out again. The groom
did come out and make the rounds to say HI to everyone and at
that point told my DH that the whole thing was a complete mess.
The bride never spoke to us. At that point maybe 5 people were
dancing. It was about 9pm and I was tired. I asked MIL what
time she was leaving and she expressed that they had to clean up
that night after the reception ended at 10pm. We went past the
back room and the wedding party was passing around a cardboard
box full of small bottles of Fireball and hanging out. We left.
MIL later said she was there past 12pm helping clean everything
up.
Honestly I'm glad its over.
#Post#: 41490--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: TootsNYC Date: November 5, 2019, 11:38 am
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[quote]The DJ pronounced the grooms (also my and another BIL)'s
last name incorrectly 3 times. I did go up and tell him
politely as it was very wrong and he thanked me and said no one
had told him. [/quote]
Did he ever ask?
If it was that easy to get "terribly wrong," it should have been
obvious that he should check with someone.
#Post#: 41529--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: guest24 Date: November 6, 2019, 2:15 am
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And this was the wedding that took years in the planning?
#Post#: 41537--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Hmmm Date: November 6, 2019, 9:04 am
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Every wedding I've been to has had issues come up. I do agree
that some of theirs could have been avoided with better planning
but it does sound like the bride and groom had little experience
in pulling off an event like this. As an usher, I find that
often their only jobs is to escort a grandparent or parent to be
seated, especially in outdoor settings where people might wander
around a bit instead of heading directly into the chapel or
sanctuary to be seated. I agree a professional DJ should have
made sure to go through every name with someone in the wedding
to get the correct pronunciation. That is the typeof detail a
couple might forget but a professional should remember to do.
I'm really curious about the style of the costumes. What were
the bride and groom wearing?
#Post#: 41548--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: TootsNYC Date: November 6, 2019, 10:42 am
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[quote] it does sound like the bride and groom had little
experience in pulling off an event like this.[/quote]
This is one of the big reasons why the mother of the bride used
to plan the wedding. She just had more experience! Brides were
younger, men didn't "do" the social planning and weren't paying
attention to those details when they attended weddings and
family gatherings over the years, etc.
Today's brides are older, but I think they still haven't always
gotten the experience that their mothers have.
#Post#: 41550--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Despedina Date: November 6, 2019, 11:01 am
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I mean overall I was happy to attend. The costume theme was a
bit lopsided. Apparently it was my BIL's idea and bride wasn't
completely on board with it. I thought that she was based on the
emails she was sending out months ahead of time but just before
she said "it was A's idea" multiple times and I realized why
when we saw the wedding party. The groom was dressed up in what
I would call a Victorian type suit (my MIL made the jacket and
vest) and all his groomsmen were dressed up as characters of
their choice (there was Robin Hood, a character from a video
game, Merlin, and I cannot remember what else) the bride was in
an A line poofy bridal gown and bridesmaids were just in A Line
gowns of different colors. There were probably about a dozen
guests dressed up. I saw another Robin Hood, Mileficent, I was
Melisandre from GOT and my daughter dressed up as a medieval
elf.
I think everything would have been more smooth if they would
have managed expectations better and asked questions. BIL was
heard to say that he wasn't sure they actually saved any money
by buying everything vs a company coming in and doing basic
table cloths and flower centerpieces.
And yes they spent over 2 years planning this.
#Post#: 41556--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Rose Red Date: November 6, 2019, 1:25 pm
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You know what though? In 50 years, almost nobody will remember
all the weddings that went smoothly. I bet people will remember
this one and hopefully lovingly laugh. If they're still together
and happy, that is.
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