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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 39356--------------------------------------------------
Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Despedina Date: September 26, 2019, 4:12 pm
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So BIL is getting married on Oct 5. The planning has been a bit
of a struggle for us (DH is a groomsman and 15yo son is an
usher) as there has not been good communication during the 18
mos since they announced their wedding date. At first. 18 mos
ago a slew of long emails went out from girlfriend (GF)
detailing how the weekend would go and expectations of the
wedding party (which is approx. 14-16 groomsmen and bridesmaids
alone). Since then we've had little communication and mosts
things have changed which we only just found out about a couple
of weeks ago. About a year ago we were instructed to come up
with themed costumes by March 2019 with no real instruction
which was not resolved until 4 weeks ago. DH also had to text
call and email his brother to ask about other days he would need
to take off (it was said there would be a bachelor party that he
needed to be at). BIL also insisted on buying my sons outfits
and we've not yet received them. The one thing I think is a
huge mistake is that its been announced to us just last week
that there is no rehearsal. Originally it was planned for the
morning of the wedding but it seems BIL and GF did not ask if
they could have the park for that and another event is planned
right up until 3pm (the wedding is 4:30). They have now decided
they are not doing a rehearsal and at 4 everyone should meet to
discuss where they should stand before the wedding starts.
Has anyone tried this with such a large wedding party? DH does
not even know who he's walking with and has never met her (or
maybe he's walking with nobody). DS has no idea what to do at
all. Won't there be guests showing up around 4 for a 4:30
wedding? MIL is so worried she's going up on Thurs to figure
things out.
#Post#: 39359--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Bales Date: September 26, 2019, 4:23 pm
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My suggestion is to not worry about it. If the B&G aren't
concerned, then so be it. It's their wedding for them to worry
about, or not. If it doesn't go as they expect, well that's a
natural consequence of their planning - or lack thereof.
#Post#: 39360--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Despedina Date: September 26, 2019, 4:33 pm
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I'm trying not to, but since MIL is so worried I'm just trying
to make this a smooth day for all. DH and DS don't want to mess
anything up. I guess I'll just take it in stride! What can you
do.
#Post#: 39362--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: jpcher Date: September 26, 2019, 4:48 pm
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I think that it's up to the Bride and Groom to plan these things
out. If they are comfortable with their plans then go with the
flow.
It's not your wedding, so don't stress on the unknown. DH and
son will receive their instructions a 1/2 hour before the
wedding is scheduled to begin. No worries there.
MIL seems to be the controlling factor here, since she's
concerned. Let her lead the show. Don't ask questions or make
suggestions to better her/their plans . . . just ride the boat
and enjoy.
Bales and OP responded while I was typing. Agreeing with Bales.
#Post#: 39363--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Hello Ducky Date: September 26, 2019, 4:58 pm
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Stay out of it and let the B&G make all the decisions. With
this sort of "organization," if you so much as offer one
suggestion that they take and don't like, everything that goes
wrong that day will be blamed on you.
#Post#: 39368--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Rose Red Date: September 26, 2019, 6:22 pm
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Since there are 14-16 members of the wedding party, just follow
the crowd. Like PP's said, it's not your wedding so just follow
the HC's instructions and whatever happens happen. As long as
there's no major disaster, what's important is they're married.
Anything else will be a memory or story in the future; good,
funny, or bad.
I think I remember the thread about your husband's wedding
costume. Was it a steampunk theme? Or was that another poster?
#Post#: 39386--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: guest24 Date: September 27, 2019, 4:08 am
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It sounds like it will be more a circus than a wedding!
Enjoy the day, take photos, and please report back some of the
hilarious highlights.
#Post#: 39388--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Hanna Date: September 27, 2019, 6:52 am
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Any chance they are just super laid back people? I don’t think
you or MIL need to worry, it’s not going to get messed up by
someone not knowing when to go or where to stand. It’s all about
the spirit of the thing.
Aleko said they don’t have rehearsals usually in England.
#Post#: 39395--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Pattycake Date: September 27, 2019, 8:43 am
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[quote author=Hanna link=topic=1348.msg39388#msg39388
date=1569585149]
Any chance they are just super laid back people? I don’t think
you or MIL need to worry, it’s not going to get messed up by
someone not knowing when to go or where to stand. It’s all about
the spirit of the thing.
Aleko said they don’t have rehearsals usually in England.
[/quote]
But generally I don't think their weddings are anything like
this one seems to be going to be! My sister didn't have a
rehearsal, but it was a small wedding party, we didn't even walk
up the aisle, just the bride and groom did, so that's no example
for you... I agree, let them handle it and don't give advice or
it may come back to haunt you.
#Post#: 39401--------------------------------------------------
Re: Wedding with no rehearsal, has anyone done this?
By: Hmmm Date: September 27, 2019, 10:18 am
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I attended a wedding last fall with 20 attendants plus 2 flower
girls and a 2 ring bearers at an outdoor venue that required a
90 min drive from where everyone was staying. Per the MOG, there
was no rehearsal. They just had a super efficient coordinator
who told them which order to line up in (she picked it on the
spot based on height of the groomsmen/bridesmaids except for the
Bestman/MOH), and pointed out where they should each stand.
There was some line adjustment once all 10 ended up front, but
nothing that was a problem and it all seemed very casual versus
over rehearsed.
As long as the couple knows the order of events, there really is
nothing else the attendants need to do other than show up
dressed on time and get in line.
But I can't wait to hear the stories of what the costumes end up
being!
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