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#Post#: 39244--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: Runningstar Date: September 24, 2019, 8:17 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1344.msg39227#msg39227
date=1569363589]
[quote author=Runningstar link=topic=1344.msg39178#msg39178
date=1569324689]
I have seen a lot of black worn at weddings (USA). The "new"
rule is that the neither the mother of the bride nor the mother
of the groom are to wear solid black. That most likely isn't
even true anymore.
[/quote]
I have seen at least 2 MOB/MOGs in all black. Of course, they
had sequins and beads.....
I don't know how someone can look like they're in mourning in
any of the dresses I see in our stores.
[/quote]
I'm glad to hear that - because say in 5 or 10 years I get to be
a MOB or MOG, black is my best color! I feel frumpy in pastels,
and don't like wearing bright colors. At my wedding (almost 30
years ago) it was still a bit of an insult if the mothers wore
black as it meant that they were against the wedding.
#Post#: 39270--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: lisastitch Date: September 25, 2019, 11:48 am
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There's black, and there's BLACK. Looking as if you're in
mourning is inappropriate at a celebration, but a "little black
dress" is meant for parties, including weddings.
#Post#: 39286--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: TootsNYC Date: September 25, 2019, 2:51 pm
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[quote author=nuku link=topic=1344.msg39237#msg39237
date=1569367211]
I've seen plenty of black at weddings in the Midwestern US.
However, I can't bring myself to do it (and I love black and
wear it often). The closest I have is a dress that has a black
background and big splashes of floral pattern - I wear a
matching wrap with it. Otherwise, the guests look too funereal.
And it is traditionally an insult to the couple to wear black to
a wedding. So, I guess just do what you feel comfortable with
and what is acceptable in your area.
I wouldn't wear all white to any wedding, not even my own - I
look terrible in white! ;)
[/quote]
I would like to know where that tradition is written anywhere.
#Post#: 39287--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: TootsNYC Date: September 25, 2019, 2:52 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Runningstar link=topic=1344.msg39244#msg39244
date=1569374226]
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1344.msg39227#msg39227
date=1569363589]
[quote author=Runningstar link=topic=1344.msg39178#msg39178
date=1569324689]
I have seen a lot of black worn at weddings (USA). The "new"
rule is that the neither the mother of the bride nor the mother
of the groom are to wear solid black. That most likely isn't
even true anymore.
[/quote]
I have seen at least 2 MOB/MOGs in all black. Of course, they
had sequins and beads.....
I don't know how someone can look like they're in mourning in
any of the dresses I see in our stores.
[/quote]
I'm glad to hear that - because say in 5 or 10 years I get to be
a MOB or MOG, black is my best color! I feel frumpy in pastels,
and don't like wearing bright colors. At my wedding (almost 30
years ago) it was still a bit of an insult if the mothers wore
black as it meant that they were against the wedding.
[/quote]
So...people would look at their happy faces and decide their
dresses were a more accurate reflection of what they thought?
#Post#: 39291--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: Asharah Date: September 25, 2019, 3:08 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Didn't they have a story on Etiquette Hell where the grooms
ex-girlfriend showed up at the wedding wearing mourning and sat
in the back wailing & crying through the whole ceremony?
HTML https://emoji.tapatalk-cdn.com/emoji3.png
#Post#: 39293--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: Hmmm Date: September 25, 2019, 3:20 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1344.msg39227#msg39227
date=1569363589]
[quote author=Runningstar link=topic=1344.msg39178#msg39178
date=1569324689]
I have seen a lot of black worn at weddings (USA). The "new"
rule is that the neither the mother of the bride nor the mother
of the groom are to wear solid black. That most likely isn't
even true anymore.
[/quote]
I have seen at least 2 MOB/MOGs in all black. Of course, they
had sequins and beads.....
I don't know how someone can look like they're in mourning in
any of the dresses I see in our stores.
[/quote]
My cousin wore an elegant black paintsuit to one of her DD's
weddings. I think the MOG was also in black. Something like
this. She looked fantastic.
HTML https://www.amazon.com/Kelaixiang-Black-Chiffon-Mother-Bride/dp/B01D2QY2GG
#Post#: 39345--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: lakey Date: September 26, 2019, 1:56 pm
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[quote]
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
« Reply #23 on: September 25, 2019, 02:52:30 pm »
Quote
Quote from: Runningstar on September 24, 2019, 08:17:06 pm
Quote from: TootsNYC on September 24, 2019, 05:19:49 pm
Quote from: Runningstar on September 24, 2019, 06:31:29 am
I have seen a lot of black worn at weddings (USA). The "new"
rule is that the neither the mother of the bride nor the mother
of the groom are to wear solid black. That most likely isn't
even true anymore.
I have seen at least 2 MOB/MOGs in all black. Of course, they
had sequins and beads.....
I don't know how someone can look like they're in mourning in
any of the dresses I see in our stores.
I'm glad to hear that - because say in 5 or 10 years I get to be
a MOB or MOG, black is my best color! I feel frumpy in pastels,
and don't like wearing bright colors. At my wedding (almost 30
years ago) it was still a bit of an insult if the mothers wore
black as it meant that they were against the wedding.
So...people would look at their happy faces and decide their
dresses were a more accurate reflection of what they
thought?[/quote]
It could be an issue if the MOB or MOG disliked the person their
child was marrying and people knew that. I knew a woman whose
future MIL used a condolence card for the wedding card. No one
would have misunderstood what she meant if she had shown up at
the wedding in funeral black. But that's pretty rare, I hope.
Other than that, I see women wearing dressy black dresses to
weddings all the time. Most people I know don't go to very many
functions where they would wear a cocktail type dress, so they
don't want to buy a dress to wear to a wedding that they may get
almost no use out of. So if there's a black cocktail dress in
the closet, why let it go to waste.
#Post#: 39357--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: jpcher Date: September 26, 2019, 4:14 pm
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What a timely topic! I asked my DD#2 (fashionista) the other day
if it was okay to wear black to a wedding.
She said "so long as there's a splash of color, and it doesn't
look like funeral attire it's fine." Then she asked me "Are you
thinking of Niece's wedding? Do you have an outfit for that
yet?"
I said "There's an outfit in my closet that I've only worn once,
years ago (DD#1's graduation dinner) it's black and, I think,
elegant. Would that be okay?"
The outfit is black 'flowy' pants with a white loose tunic and a
black jacket. In my opinion, too dressy for funeral wear.
DD#2 remembered the outfit and said that it would be perfect . .
. especially since Niece's wedding is on Halloween. ;)
[quote author=lakey link=topic=1344.msg39345#msg39345
date=1569524209]So if there's a black cocktail dress in the
closet, why let it go to waste.
[/quote]
Agree! ;D
[quote author=lisastitch link=topic=1344.msg39270#msg39270
date=1569430133]
There's black, and there's BLACK. Looking as if you're in
mourning is inappropriate at a celebration, but a "little black
dress" is meant for parties, including weddings.
[/quote]
Agree with this as well . . . LBD's are not appropriate for
funerals and shouldn't be kept hidden in the closet forever.
#Post#: 39407--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: Twik Date: September 27, 2019, 11:06 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1344.msg39286#msg39286
date=1569441087]
[quote author=nuku link=topic=1344.msg39237#msg39237
date=1569367211]
I've seen plenty of black at weddings in the Midwestern US.
However, I can't bring myself to do it (and I love black and
wear it often). The closest I have is a dress that has a black
background and big splashes of floral pattern - I wear a
matching wrap with it. Otherwise, the guests look too funereal.
And it is traditionally an insult to the couple to wear black to
a wedding. So, I guess just do what you feel comfortable with
and what is acceptable in your area.
I wouldn't wear all white to any wedding, not even my own - I
look terrible in white! ;)
[/quote]
Actually, you could probably find it in the older etiquette
books. The ones that had actual advice for wearing black for
mourning.
In general, I'd say that if you're in an area or culture where
black is still a "mourning" colour, don't wear it. If everyone
at the wedding assumes black is simply a cute colour for a
cocktail dress, I don't think you'll have any problem. The goal
is to have people not look at you and wonder if you're trying to
make a snide comment about the wedding itself.
I wouldn't think of it these days, but there are obviously
places and cultures that might. (Also cultures that might have
taboos on other colours as well, so "know your audience" is
always the best advice.)
I would like to know where that tradition is written anywhere.
[/quote]
#Post#: 39415--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it ever OK to wear black to a wedding?
By: Codewoman Date: September 27, 2019, 3:46 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
This reminds me of my niece's wedding. It was a very small
wedding party. Maybe 15 people total at the wedding. Two days
before the wedding, the maid of honor flaked. My niece asked me
to be matron of honor and I accepted. Her wedding color was dark
purple. I went out the day before the wedding and actually
managed to find a purple dress that fit me. It was reasonably
priced, too. At the wedding reception, several relatives from
the groom's family (who knew I was a last-minute substitute)
commented how fortunate it was that I just happened to pack a
matching dress. :P They looked relieved when I replied that I
was so happy to find it in a local shop just the day prior to
the wedding.
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