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#Post#: 38904--------------------------------------------------
BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: BeagleMommy Date: September 19, 2019, 7:45 am
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I had been talking with BeagleDaddy about getting some art work
for my office. He asked me to wait because he was having
something made for me by one of his coworkers who "does great
work".
Okay, cool.
What I got was an oil painting of the word "Believe" with the
pink breast cancer ribbon for the "L", two pink ribbon
butterflies, and random tiny flowers. It's ugly. It is a LOT
of pastels and looks like a 6th grade art project.
I love that he had this sweet thought, but I'm not that type of
person that needs to have "inspirationals" about my cancer
treatment. He kind of missed the mark on this one.
Right now I have it hung on a wall in my office that my office
door blocks when it is open so I don't have to look at it that
often.
My question is how long do I have to keep it here before I can
tell him it fell off the wall and broke?
#Post#: 38910--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: Pattycake Date: September 19, 2019, 9:03 am
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Maybe you don't have to tell him. Does he come to your office?
Just don't say anything until/unless he asks. then you can tell
him and if he says why didn't you tell him when it happened, you
can say you didn't want him to be upset/hurt/whatever.
#Post#: 38917--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: TootsNYC Date: September 19, 2019, 11:35 am
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I think it might be worth telling him that it's just not a
comforting piece of artwork for you, that "support as I go
through breast cancer" doesn't look like that for you.
Because it would be good for him to know what DOES work for you.
So keep it long enough that you can say you "gave it the good
old college try."
And then tell him that you find it isn't as comforting or
inspiring as you'd thought, and so you think you'd going to
donate it to the doctor's office, or hospital floor, or
wherever. (call that support-group lady and ask her if their
group could use it)
And then get the artwork you were thinking of, and tell him WHY
it works for you--that you like to be mentally taken away from
your physical body and into an emotional or nature-linked place.
Or whatever.
#Post#: 38920--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: NyaChan Date: September 19, 2019, 11:45 am
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I’d take it home and just say it wasn’t working well with the
rest of your office and put in an out of the way room at home
for a while. When it is not so new, switch it out for something
else and say you felt like redecorating if he asks
#Post#: 38921--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: gramma dishes Date: September 19, 2019, 11:56 am
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Would it be possible to say that you really don't like to
emphasize the breast cancer thing at work? You want your boss
and colleagues to just think of you as 'just plain BeagleMommy'
and you fear it might encourage them to think of you as someone
they need to tiptoe around a bit instead of just a great friend
and competent co-worker?
#Post#: 38923--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: Rose Red Date: September 19, 2019, 12:17 pm
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Is this a work office (like downtown and owned by a your boss)
or your home office?
If it's an work office, a PP noted your husband may not go often
(if at all) so you can hide the painting.
A home office is trickier. I'll have to think about that one.
#Post#: 38924--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: Aleko Date: September 19, 2019, 12:39 pm
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Is he really that unaware of what kind of art you like and what
you don't?
Commissioning an artwork always carries the risk that the artist
may proudly come back to you with something that isn't actually
what you asked for, or even if they have followed the brief it
is just not what you hoped. Then what do you do? If that artist
is a friend or colleague, it's doubly tricky. Perhaps he knows
just how bad it is, but felt that having commissioned it from
them, and promised it to you - thereby deterring you from going
out and finding something you liked - he couldn't very well
reject it, or even pay for it then quietly drop it off at a
charity shop, and felt the only thing he could do was present it
to you and hope that the thought, at least, would count.
But it seems to me that your dislike of the picture is not the
only strike against it. Another is: is it really appropriate to
decorate your office with art that directly references your
health issues? Presumably at least some of your colleagues are
aware of them, so when they see that picture they'll know what
it's referring to; it would amount to a public announcement that
you want them to see you as A Sick Person Needing Sympathy. Not
a good look in the workplace, surely.
#Post#: 38930--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: BeagleMommy Date: September 19, 2019, 2:24 pm
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Thanks, Everyone.
Truthfully, he's having a harder time dealing with this than I
am. I think he is projecting that he needs something
inspirational onto me so he doesn't need to admit it.
I just don't want to hurt his feelings by not putting it up.
This is my work office, but I'm allowed to decorate it as I
wish. He does visit on occasion.
#Post#: 38935--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: Copper Horsewoman Date: September 19, 2019, 5:06 pm
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Depending on how sensitive he is/how much of a sense of absurd
humor he has, can you tell him that if he got a vasectomy,
you'll get him a picture of a nice pair of scissors? My dh would
crack up and say, "point taken", and we would decide what to do,
donating it to a doctor's office or such sounds nice.
#Post#: 38939--------------------------------------------------
Re: BeagleDaddy's Sweet Thought, But Bad Result
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: September 19, 2019, 6:08 pm
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As a breast cancer survivor, this artwork would bother me for 2
basic reasons.
1. I'm sorry, but it is so not my taste. I don't like pink, or
uplifting posters. For someone who likes that kind of thing, it
may be wonderful, but to me it sounds hideous (although I would
never say that to the person who gave it to me or to the person
who made it).
2. As I mentioned in the thread about the cancer support group,
I did not do that kind of thing. I have no problem openly
talking about my cancer, but I do not want to surround myself
with things that remind me (no pink awareness pins or T shirts,
no walk for the cure). I want to scream, "I had cancer, but that
is not who I am!" It's a weird, fine point, but that is me. If I
were to receive this, I might come home from work in tears,
saying, "I just can't look at this every day. I just can't, and
I know you meant this out of love. But I can't."
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