DIR Return Create A Forum - Home
---------------------------------------------------------
Bad Manners and Brimstone
HTML https://badmanners.createaforum.com
---------------------------------------------------------
*****************************************************
DIR Return to: Etiquette Phrases and Tactics
*****************************************************
#Post#: 38522--------------------------------------------------
Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: BeagleMommy Date: September 11, 2019, 12:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I am currently going through treatment for breast cancer. Doing
well.
I received a call from a support group run by the treatment
center I am using. The woman on the phone was very polite and
told me when the group was meeting next.
Between my amazing family and friends (including one who's been
through the same treatment) I am very well supported and cared
for. I am not interested in joining a group. I know others
find them helpful and I would never tell someone not to join if
they felt it was needed.
I said to the woman that I was not interested. She kept
explaining why I would find it helpful. When she took a breath
I said "no, I'm not interested in joining".
Her response was "I just don't understand why you won't join our
group".
I said "Because I don't want to" and hung up.
#Post#: 38523--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: Jem Date: September 11, 2019, 12:19 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I am sorry you had to go through that! I would like to think
that the woman was coming from a good place, but especially
BECAUSE it is a support group she really should know better. Not
everyone deals with [insert situation] in the same way. Not
everyone BENEFITS from the same ways of dealing either.
I have had several traumatic things happen in my life, and
well-meaning people would want me to be in support groups of
various types. For me, this was not something I wanted to do. I
dealt with my grief by focusing on the good in my life, and
spending time with people struggling with dealing with some
admittedly very difficult things was not among the things I
personally found helpful.
Anyway, hugs and prayers for a full and speedy recovery.
#Post#: 38525--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: Kimberami Date: September 11, 2019, 12:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Everyone's journey looks different.
For Pushy Lady, nothing could be better than support group.
That's great.
Others find strength in friends and family. That's great.
Some people keep to themselves. That's great.
I'm going to very generously chose to believe that Pushy Lady is
afraid that depression/shock/fear is keeping you from joining
the support group. In her mind, it is the 100% best way of
dealing with a traumatic diagnosis. Good intentions on her part,
but it resulted in very bad execution. Regardless of the
intentions or execution, you know that you have another option
open to you if you need it later. You also know that the contact
person is super pushy, and you can avoid getting sucked into
drama.
I'm glad that you have your own support system, and I'm glad you
stuck to your guns to deal with your illness in the way that
works best for you. <3
#Post#: 38526--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: Luci Date: September 11, 2019, 12:54 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I’m sorry you are going through al of this. I’m sad for the the
pushy lady who doesn’t understand that some people are blessed
with other support.
Hugs and best wishes.
#Post#: 38529--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: kckgirl Date: September 11, 2019, 1:58 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
My mother was invited to events sponsored by the breast health
center where she was treated. They were not pushy at all. I
can't imagine why anyone would try to get you to join their
group by bullying you!
#Post#: 38531--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: sandisadie Date: September 11, 2019, 2:15 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
In a similar situation I've thanked the caller and told them, in
a few words, that I already had my support in place and things
were going well.
#Post#: 38548--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: katiekat2009 Date: September 11, 2019, 7:31 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
We had something similar happen. My husband had open heart
surgery in April and then had complications. This guy
representing a heart support group cornered me for about 30
minutes in the ICU waiting room, went INTO ICU where my husband
was (I saw him there on one of the visits.), and then came to
his room after he got out of ICU. I was po'd enough to write a
letter to the hospital administrator. No, we didn't join the
group. I'm sorry you are being hassled during your treatment
phase. My prayers go out for a swift recovery.
#Post#: 38549--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: gramma dishes Date: September 11, 2019, 8:00 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I'm glad you wrote the letter to the hospital administrator.
Most hospitals are very watchful about these kinds of incidents.
I'm sure they were glad to be made aware of this behavior.
#Post#: 38552--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: TootsNYC Date: September 11, 2019, 8:50 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Being pushy like that is a sure way to make a hesitant person
decide to not come.
If I were a bit reluctant, or shy, or reserved, or not sure
whether I needed help, that pressure might just make me decide
to not come.
I love your "because I don't want to."
And I'm glad you're being well supported through this--all the
best!
#Post#: 38585--------------------------------------------------
Re: Pushy Support Group - No is a Complete Sentence
By: pierrotlunaire0 Date: September 12, 2019, 3:05 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I had breast cancer in 2015, and I chose to not attend any kind
of group support. It was offered to me, with the attitude of:
This is available if you want it. Some people find it helpful.
So when I was reading the OP, I was livid. No one can tell you
what you need, or what would benefit you best. I think even all
the medical treatments (chemo, surgery, and radiation) were
things I had the right to refuse. I was made to feel that I was
in charge of my life and my treatment, and working with my
doctors. Now, if I had been noticeably struggling emotionally,
they may have urged me to at least check it out, or to try some
other kind of mental and emotional support.
But I would report this woman to your treatment center. She
doesn't belong doing this kind of work.
*****************************************************
DIR Next Page