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#Post#: 38162--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: bopper Date: September 5, 2019, 12:44 pm
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If they run across each other..."Oh I wish you the best of luck!
I find it best not to mix business and friendship. How is Tommy
doing?"
#Post#: 38198--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: Surly Date: September 5, 2019, 10:23 pm
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[quote author=homie link=topic=1312.msg38088#msg38088
date=1567613316]
One of the marks daughter has made is offering her product for
fundraisers and there here have been several area groups who
have been successful with them. As I said, she has made a name
for herself in our corner of the world and word is spreading
around school groups. Yesterday #2 called daughter with an
offer. She has been approached by a group to do a fundraiser
but she knows it is bigger than what she can handle at her size
and she wants to split it with daughter - each of them producing
half of the product needed. Daughter is EXTREMELY uncomfortable
with that for many reasons. She tried to be nice in her
refusal, but knows #2 thought she was being a little short with
her.
Daughter gave her reasons for not wanting to join in, but
finally just told her she has too many orders out right now to
be able to devote the time needed. #2 accepted that, but we are
sure she is hurt.
Daughter feels as though #2 is coming from the angle of "all in
this life together", "women empowering women" and everything
else that goes with that, but that's not where we are.
[/quote]
Interesting. I had the opposite reaction from you and your
daughter. I think that multiple people working the same type of
business encouraging each other and working together can be
really incredible.
For example, in my town, there are multiple breweries that
advertise each others' anniversaries and special events, and
host local beer days together a few times a year. As a
customer, I *love* that they support each other and see the
growth of local beer brewing as a positive thing that helps
everyone.
I think it's very cool that when daughter's friend was
approached by the fundraising group, friend asked your daughter
to partner with her.
I wonder if it might help to reframe your thinking. Yes, you
and your daughter have no interest in sharing or helping anyone
else. But it's very possible that the "competitors" are not
being devious or rude in any way. They might have a passion for
the product and want to work together to grow it in your town.
So, declining politely without hard feelings is probably the
best way to go.
I will say that as a customer I notice when businesses support
each other and it makes me more likely to buy from any of them.
I am 100% in favour of "all in this life together" and "women
empowering women". If I knew of you and your daughter's
attitude, I would likely stop buying from her and move to one of
the other more community-oriented businesses.
#Post#: 38209--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: Bada Date: September 6, 2019, 6:34 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Surly link=topic=1312.msg38198#msg38198
date=1567740206]
[quote author=homie link=topic=1312.msg38088#msg38088
date=1567613316]
[Shortened]
[/quote]
Interesting. I had the opposite reaction from you and your
daughter. I think that multiple people working the same type of
business encouraging each other and working together can be
really incredible.
For example, in my town, there are multiple breweries that
advertise each others' anniversaries and special events, and
host local beer days together a few times a year. As a
customer, I *love* that they support each other and see the
growth of local beer brewing as a positive thing that helps
everyone.
I think it's very cool that when daughter's friend was
approached by the fundraising group, friend asked your daughter
to partner with her.
I wonder if it might help to reframe your thinking. Yes, you
and your daughter have no interest in sharing or helping anyone
else. But it's very possible that the "competitors" are not
being devious or rude in any way. They might have a passion for
the product and want to work together to grow it in your town.
So, declining politely without hard feelings is probably the
best way to go.
I will say that as a customer I notice when businesses support
each other and it makes me more likely to buy from any of them.
I am 100% in favour of "all in this life together" and "women
empowering women". If I knew of you and your daughter's
attitude, I would likely stop buying from her and move to one of
the other more community-oriented businesses.
[/quote]
It definitely depends on the product, in my mind. A brewery can
easily advertise another brewery's event (that doesn't conflict
with their own) because the same person might grab a beer at
multiple breweries in a day/month.
But I was imagining the business in question to be more like
homemade soap or caramel apples. There's only so much of that
you really want or need. If you team up with a competitor you're
not really increasing the market, you're helping give your
market share away.
I definitely agree OP's daughter is right to not want to team
up, assuming it's something like the latter.
#Post#: 38217--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: Jem Date: September 6, 2019, 8:49 am
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I agree with Surly. On some level, what the DD did was turn away
work. The #2 was specifically asked by the group to provide
whatever it is they provide. The DD was not. It sort of comes
across as cutting off her nose to spite her face. Had DD
partnered with #2 she would have had 50% of the profits. Now she
has 0% and she may have burned a bridge with #2 and with the
group that specifically sought out #2 (and not DD).
Maybe there is something specific to whatever their actual
business is that makes DD's reaction more appropriate than I am
viewing it, but based on what we know it seems short sighted to
me.
#Post#: 38244--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: Hanna Date: September 6, 2019, 2:44 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
I think it's relevant that these are home based business women
that are making a single item. The quality, professionalism and
commitment can vary wildly from individual to individual. Not
wanting to partner in business with a friend doesn't make a
person unsupportive of that friend nor of other community
businesses. By partnering with someone you are basically
endorsing them. I think most people with sense are pretty
cautious about who they choose to endorse or recommend and
liking someone personally or being friends with them does not
necessarily mean you have knowledge about their work ethic or
capabilities. So I would not hold it against someone for
wanting to keep their own business separate from their friend's
business.
As a buyer though, I would likely hold a dim view of both of
them if I contracted with one, she partnered with another and my
delivered product was sub-par or not delivered on time.
#Post#: 38260--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: gramma dishes Date: September 6, 2019, 4:18 pm
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If you willingly partner with someone else and they do a poor
job or produce a substandard product, your own reputation goes
right down the drain alongside theirs. I'd be very reluctant
to take that chance.
#Post#: 38263--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: NFPwife Date: September 6, 2019, 4:33 pm
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I've been lurking on this thread. Any Dave Ramsey fans here? I'd
love to hear his response to this during an EntreLeadership
hour. (OP, you or your daughter could call in. Or post to one of
the FB pages, the followers there will have interesting
perspectives.)
I agree with the posters who think the partnership could hurt
the OP's daughter's brand. Also, it could reveal tips or tricks
that make a difference between the two products, so I can see
not partnering because you don't want to reveal the things that
make your brand special.
Maintaining the friendship is separate, so I'd just establish a
"no shop talk" rule for the relationship. Colleagues and I have
done this to and for each other, we just set a boundary that
social times are social and hold each other accountable to not
letting business-y things bleed into that time. We do it for
other reasons, but I think it's a common enough "rule" that
friends in the same industry set, that it's not odd to say, "Oh,
let's do a 'no shop talk' rule. We all work so hard, we need a
break from all that." And then change the subject if it comes
up.
#Post#: 38269--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: chigger Date: September 6, 2019, 5:31 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=gramma dishes link=topic=1312.msg38260#msg38260
date=1567804713]
If you willingly partner with someone else and they do a poor
job or produce a substandard product, your own reputation goes
right down the drain alongside theirs. I'd be very reluctant
to take that chance.
[/quote]
I totally agree. #2 did not have the stock to do what she was
asked to do. She wanted OP's daughter to partner only because of
this. She does not want to lose the sale, which is
understandable. However, I would be very leery of partnering
with a person that considers the business as "something to keep
me busy", as opposed to "I built this business and have been
dedicated enough that I'm now making a living from it and have a
reputation to protect"
I, personally, would not touch that deal with a ten foot pole!
#Post#: 38281--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: Aleko Date: September 7, 2019, 2:25 am
---------------------------------------------------------
Does DD even have any info about this woman's business - the
quality of her product, the presentation of it, her
professionalism in general? Because if the remark about needing
something to keep herself busy wasn't a tactical piece of
self-deprecation but a genuine reflection of her attitude, and
her stand is more like the home-baked-cake stall at a village
fete than a professional setup, DD's business reputation could
easily suffer by partnering her at an event. Most people
wouldn't register that there was one good business there and one
rank amateur; they'd just see amateurishness, and come away
thinking "those ladies weren't good enough at what they do: I
wouldn't hire / order from them".
#Post#: 38367--------------------------------------------------
Re: How do I stay friendly in competition?
By: chigger Date: September 8, 2019, 4:32 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Surly link=topic=1312.msg38198#msg38198
date=1567740206]
[quote author=homie link=topic=1312.msg38088#msg38088
date=1567613316]
One of the marks daughter has made is offering her product for
fundraisers and there here have been several area groups who
have been successful with them. As I said, she has made a name
for herself in our corner of the world and word is spreading
around school groups. Yesterday #2 called daughter with an
offer. She has been approached by a group to do a fundraiser
but she knows it is bigger than what she can handle at her size
and she wants to split it with daughter - each of them producing
half of the product needed. Daughter is EXTREMELY uncomfortable
with that for many reasons. She tried to be nice in her
refusal, but knows #2 thought she was being a little short with
her.
Daughter gave her reasons for not wanting to join in, but
finally just told her she has too many orders out right now to
be able to devote the time needed. #2 accepted that, but we are
sure she is hurt.
Daughter feels as though #2 is coming from the angle of "all in
this life together", "women empowering women" and everything
else that goes with that, but that's not where we are.
[/quote]
Interesting. I had the opposite reaction from you and your
daughter. I think that multiple people working the same type of
business encouraging each other and working together can be
really incredible.
For example, in my town, there are multiple breweries that
advertise each others' anniversaries and special events, and
host local beer days together a few times a year. As a
customer, I *love* that they support each other and see the
growth of local beer brewing as a positive thing that helps
everyone.
I think it's very cool that when daughter's friend was
approached by the fundraising group, friend asked your daughter
to partner with her.
I wonder if it might help to reframe your thinking. Yes, you
and your daughter have no interest in sharing or helping anyone
else. But it's very possible that the "competitors" are not
being devious or rude in any way. They might have a passion for
the product and want to work together to grow it in your town.
So, declining politely without hard feelings is probably the
best way to go.
I will say that as a customer I notice when businesses support
each other and it makes me more likely to buy from any of them.
I am 100% in favour of "all in this life together" and "women
empowering women". If I knew of you and your daughter's
attitude, I would likely stop buying from her and move to one of
the other more community-oriented businesses.
[/quote]
I don't see where the daughter is doing anything wrong! It has
nothing to do with empowering women or anyone else! She worked
her ass off, built her business up, acquired an excellent
reputation, all on her own! Why should she partner with some one
who is not taking it as serious? The "something to keep me busy
now kids are in school" gives it away!
I run a small side business. If I hire you, I will pay you very,
very well, but I won't give up my secrets, my contacts, or
anything else. I am not about to "empower" someone enough that
they take my business from me! Learn the business on your own,
like I had to. Men have been operating like this for years, it's
time for women to do so, also. If I was a multi million dollar
company, I'd do the opposite, but as a small business that
doesn't have enough customers to go around, NOPE.
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