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#Post#: 38000--------------------------------------------------
“Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: Jem Date: September 3, 2019, 12:03 pm
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My husband owns multiple drum kits, and generously gave one kit
to the 10 year old son of a friend of his a few years ago. For
backstory, the kid’s father died of a rare form of cancer and my
husband wanted to do something nice for him.
Fast forward a couple years and the kid is no longer drumming.
The mom (also a friend of my husband’s) contacted DH and said
something like, “Sam isn’t drumming anymore so we are selling
the drum kit. You get first dibs though - just give me $100 and
come pick it up. Otherwise we will sell it online.” My DH said
that they had added a new cymbal and drum-kick but still, this
really rubbed me the wrong way.
Thoughts?
#Post#: 38003--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: Songbird Date: September 3, 2019, 12:36 pm
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I have a problem here.
You captioned your post: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have
Your Drums Back.”
But then you went on to say that your husband GAVE the drum set
to Sam. Not "loaned", "gave". It's not "yours", it's Sam's.
And he (or his mom) can do what they want with it.
Of course, it would be nice if Sam's mom extended the same
generosity to you that you initially extended to Sam. But she
doesn't have to.
#Post#: 38005--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: LurkingGurl Date: September 3, 2019, 12:44 pm
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Awkward...
I don't know that you can do much more than just say "thanks,
not interested. Good luck!"
[quote author=Songbird link=topic=1310.msg38003#msg38003
date=1567532198]
I have a problem here.
You captioned your post: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have
Your Drums Back.”
But then you went on to say that your husband GAVE the drum set
to Sam. Not "loaned", "gave". It's not "yours", it's Sam's.
And he (or his mom) can do what they want with it.
Of course, it would be nice if Sam's mom extended the same
generosity to you that you initially extended to Sam. But she
doesn't have to.
[/quote]
Even if you were a bit misled by the title, I would think that
after reading the actual post you would understand that the
issue is that they are trying to sell a gift back to the giver,
which, you have to admit is kind of tacky.
Actually it's always tacky to assume that someone would want to
buy something from you, no matter what, let alone something they
gave you as a gift!
#Post#: 38006--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.
221;
By: NyaChan Date: September 3, 2019, 12:51 pm
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If you gave to them as a gift, I actually don’t see it as
tacky though she could have worded it better. They aren’t
getting use out of the gift anymore but recognize that your
husband might and rather than selling it to strangers are
offering it to him first. I get that it might have been better
for them to give it back rather than selling, but they might
need the money and really it wouldn’t have been wrong to
sell it to someone else, so why not offer to give you first dibs
in case it matters to you?
#Post#: 38009--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: Sycorax Date: September 3, 2019, 1:35 pm
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It's definitely awkward to try to sell a gift back to the giver,
although I don't think I'd hold it against them.
#Post#: 38012--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: chigger Date: September 3, 2019, 1:51 pm
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Tacky, tacky!
#Post#: 38013--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: Jem Date: September 3, 2019, 1:52 pm
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Thanks for the feedback! I completely understand that my DH gave
Sam the drum set as a gift and agree that "technically" Sam can
do with it as he wants, including using it as firewood. It was
intended as "I want YOU to be able to use this drum set" and not
"does anyone want a free drum set" thing though.
I think I view this as more of an interpersonal and friendship
thing than a long-arm transaction pure etiquette thing maybe? I
think that is why it rubs me the wrong way. If it matters, Sam
and his mom most definitely do not need the money.
At any rate, it looks like my DH is going to get the drums back
and will be giving them to the daughter of another friend (the
daughter is a new drummer and excited to have her own kit)!
#Post#: 38015--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: Hanna Date: September 3, 2019, 2:00 pm
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NyaChan, I didn’t mean to hit the “dumb” icon!
#Post#: 38016--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: chigger Date: September 3, 2019, 2:00 pm
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I have to ask, as I am nosy! Is your husband going to buy them
back?
#Post#: 38018--------------------------------------------------
Re: “Just Pay Me $100 And You Can Have Your Drums Back.”
By: Hanna Date: September 3, 2019, 2:08 pm
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That’s very kind of him. I think they are being tacky by
offering but it’s not a huge deal.
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