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#Post#: 38255--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: accountingisfun Date: September 6, 2019, 3:43 pm
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I personally do not have many foods that I prefer not to eat,
but my spouse does. He has a negative physical reaction to
eating most vegetables, mostly because the texture is something
he can't tolerate. He feels bad about it and wishes he was more
adventurous in his eating, but he is not. I'm perfectly o.k.
with this because it is his eating issues.
Sometimes, people ask me about his eating and ask me if I ever
sneak vegetables or other things into his food. I get greatly
offended at this. I personally find it incredibly rude to sneak
an adult food that they don't want to eat for any reason. It
could be an allergy, it could be a personal belief, or it could
be just a general dislike of a food. When people ask me this - I
often turn it around and ask if they would find it o.k. to sneak
meat into a vegetarian dish or to sneak pork or shrimp to
someone who is kosher or to sneak peanuts to someone with a
peanut allergy. None of those things is ever acceptable. In
some cases it could kill the person. It doesn't matter why a
person doesn't eat a thing, if they don't eat a thing, it is
incredibly rude to attempt to sneak the food into their diet. I
respect my spouse and therefore I will never be so rude to him
as to attempt to sneak food that he doesn't eat into his meals.
It's just rude.
If your ex-spouse knew about your not eating grated strong
cheese, sneaking it into your food without your knowledge is
rude. Whatever type of cheese it is that you don't eat, it
really doesn't matter. What does matter is that your ex-spouse
was rude and disrespectful to you.
#Post#: 38270--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: chigger Date: September 6, 2019, 5:57 pm
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[quote author=PVZFan link=topic=1302.msg38242#msg38242
date=1567797811]
[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1302.msg38240#msg38240
date=1567796047]
This may be the last time I ever post anything like this.
Although he's my ex and our past relationship is ancient history
we did live together for four years. During this time he never
saw me put grated cheese in or on my food although he was
perfectly free to add it to his own. I never cooked with it and
I can't stand the smell of parmesan cheese or anything similar.
I also don't like blue cheese, limburger, or anything else like
it. We had a more recent conversation in which I told him about
the restaurant near one of my old offices that used to shave
"sheets" of that stuff onto side salads and I had sent one back
because I can't stand this stuff. After the second visit to
that restaurant I wouldn't go back because the whole place stank
of that stuff (in addition to being noisy because of lack of
carpets).
I will eat things like cheddar, brie, gouda, etc., but anything
with a strong smell that isn't garlic is off my menu.
This is exactly how I feel about this:
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1302.msg38221#msg38221
date=1567780465]
It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be
respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue.
Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not
something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even
head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with
cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your
back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.
I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat
anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about
food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?
[/quote]
Update:
He called this morning and we talked about this. I backed out
of going because I wasn't feeling well, oddly because something
I ate in the pub last night didn't agree with me. I will see
him on Sunday and got him to agree not to cook with that stuff
(which turns out to be pecorino romano; he doesn't eat locatelli
anymore). If I had ever cooked anything during our relationship
with any ingredient he didn't like he never said anything at the
time.
However if he ever makes Alfredo sauce I'm out of there.
[/quote]
Nice job setting and enforcing your boundary!
I'm sorry you feel that way about posting. I understand,
though. I started a post on the last forum and I found myself
talking/ yelling at the computer to some of the responses.
E.g. - Post - "What does the OP expect here?!" with an
implication that I was unreasonable.
Me, yelling at the screen, - "A thank you! I said that in my OP.
A basic (bleeping) thank you!"
So, if you've been yelling at your screen, I've been there and
I'm sorry. FWIW, this was a useful thread. I have a food I
hate. Everyone knows it. It's sometimes a joke, but no one
tries to sneak it to me and I'd consider it pretty hostile if
they knowingly gave it to me. (No, I don't expect ppl to
remember my strong preferences. but if they didn't know or
forget and gave it to me, I'd be angry. )
[/quote]
Oh, yes, yelling at the screen at the old site! I remember
posting a thread and saying "the pediatrician did NOT recommend
this", and being jumped on over and over that I was ignoring
Doctor's orders! Think that was when I was banned.
ETA: Pecorino is really strong smelling!!
#Post#: 38282--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Aleko Date: September 7, 2019, 2:43 am
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[quote]Pecorino is really strong smelling!![/quote]
Is there only one kind of pecorino available to buy where you
live? Because pecorino is just the Italian word for any cheese
made of sheep's milk. Many Italian regions make their own
traditional sheep's milk cheese; they are all different, as you
would expect, and furthermore most of those cheeses can be sold
either young or mature, effectively doubling the variety. But
even so I've never encountered any pecorino that smelt very
strong. (Then again, anyone who has never encountered a ripe
Munster, Epoisses, Stinking Bishop or the like has no idea what
a really strong-smelling cheese is like!)
#Post#: 38310--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: chigger Date: September 7, 2019, 3:01 pm
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Pecorino Romano is what I've used. Like Parmesan, it smells like
someones stinky feet, when freshly grated! My assumption is this
is what OP's "friend" is using. The tastiest cheese I've ever
had was a bleu that absolutely reeked, but it was so good!
ETA: Reading the OP's post again, yes it was Pecorino Romano,
and yes, it does stink, Aleko
#Post#: 38825--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: oogyda Date: September 17, 2019, 7:02 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1302.msg38240#msg38240
date=1567796047]
This may be the last time I ever post anything like this.
Although he's my ex and our past relationship is ancient history
we did live together for four years. During this time he never
saw me put grated cheese in or on my food although he was
perfectly free to add it to his own. I never cooked with it and
I can't stand the smell of parmesan cheese or anything similar.
I also don't like blue cheese, limburger, or anything else like
it. We had a more recent conversation in which I told him about
the restaurant near one of my old offices that used to shave
"sheets" of that stuff onto side salads and I had sent one back
because I can't stand this stuff. After the second visit to
that restaurant I wouldn't go back because the whole place stank
of that stuff (in addition to being noisy because of lack of
carpets).
I will eat things like cheddar, brie, gouda, etc., but anything
with a strong smell that isn't garlic is off my menu.
This is exactly how I feel about this:
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1302.msg38221#msg38221
date=1567780465]
It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be
respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue.
Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not
something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even
head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with
cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your
back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.
I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat
anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about
food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?
[/quote]
Update:
He called this morning and we talked about this. I backed out
of going because I wasn't feeling well, oddly because something
I ate in the pub last night didn't agree with me. I will see
him on Sunday and got him to agree not to cook with that stuff
(which turns out to be pecorino romano; he doesn't eat locatelli
anymore). If I had ever cooked anything during our relationship
with any ingredient he didn't like he never said anything at the
time.
However if he ever makes Alfredo sauce I'm out of there.
[/quote]
It wasn't you! Believe me. Things got a bit nit-picky there
and I understand how you feel.
#Post#: 38926--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: bopper Date: September 19, 2019, 1:04 pm
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if you go to the Opera together, then meet there instead of his
place (or just pick him up).
if you want anything to do with him, just don't eat meals at his
place. If he asks why, then say "Based on what you said I can't
trust you to prepare meals for me." "I was just joking".
"Nevertheless, I won't be eating at your house. Do you want to
see La Traviata this week?"
Also read:
My Friend’s Cooking Has Twice Made Me Sick. Do I Accept Her
Latest Dinner Invitation?
HTML https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/09/dear-prudence-peanut-allergy-friend-dinners.html
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