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#Post#: 38189--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Venus193 Date: September 5, 2019, 6:28 pm
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I am not allergic but I am moderately lactose intolerant. I
just can't stand stinky cheese.
#Post#: 38192--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Hanna Date: September 5, 2019, 8:19 pm
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1302.msg38189#msg38189
date=1567726131]
I am not allergic but I am moderately lactose intolerant. I
just can't stand stinky cheese.
[/quote]
It’s kind of tough to tell from your posts... did you not notice
he was putting grated cheese in the food?
I’d consider just telling him “Your grated cheese grosses me out
and makes me sick so if you can’t cook without it, we just can’t
eat at your house together.”
#Post#: 38211--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Venus193 Date: September 6, 2019, 7:45 am
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I said in the first post that I'm not allergic. My moderate
lactose intolerance will allow me to eat cream cheese, for
example, but not in the quantity that most bagel shops put on
the bagel (which seems like it's almost the whole brick). If I
want a bagel with cream cheese I buy the two items separately or
buy an extra bagel and transfer half the cream cheese to it and
save it for the next day. I can no longer drink a venti
Frappuccino at Starbucks.
He didn't put enough into the food to drown out the garlic,
something I do love. However, Alfredo sauce grosses me out. In
fact, most cream sauces do.
#Post#: 38220--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Hanna Date: September 6, 2019, 9:25 am
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1302.msg38211#msg38211
date=1567773921]
I said in the first post that I'm not allergic. My moderate
lactose intolerance will allow me to eat cream cheese, for
example, but not in the quantity that most bagel shops put on
the bagel (which seems like it's almost the whole brick). If I
want a bagel with cream cheese I buy the two items separately or
buy an extra bagel and transfer half the cream cheese to it and
save it for the next day. I can no longer drink a venti
Frappuccino at Starbucks.
He didn't put enough into the food to drown out the garlic,
something I do love. However, Alfredo sauce grosses me out. In
fact, most cream sauces do.
[/quote]
Sorry, I meant I couldn't tell if you had noticed that he was
doing this or if you only found out from his facebook posts how
often he was doing it.
I'm sorry you are having this issue. Perhaps he just needs a
knock on the head with a foam bat!
#Post#: 38221--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Rose Red Date: September 6, 2019, 9:34 am
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It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be
respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue.
Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not
something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even
head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with
cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your
back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.
I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat
anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about
food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?
#Post#: 38222--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Hmmm Date: September 6, 2019, 9:44 am
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1302.msg38189#msg38189
date=1567726131]
I am not allergic but I am moderately lactose intolerant. I
just can't stand stinky cheese.
[/quote]
Venus193, I'm wondering if you've been clear with him on what
you do not like. The reason I say this is that I'm having a hard
time understanding. Your original post stated you don't like the
smell of "grated cheese" which prompted a question on whether it
is just grated cheese or all cheese. Here you state you can't
stand stinky cheese. There are many cheeses that most of us
cheese lovers don't consider stinky. To me "stinky" cheeses are
things like stilton or limburger. Things like cheddar or swiss
normally don't fall into the "stinky" cheese category.
You later mention a lactose intolerance and your dislike of
alfredo.
I don't think it is polite of him to try and sneak in things he
knows you don't like. But maybe he is confused and about what
you do and don't like or can tolerate. If your not going to stop
eating with him, maybe clarify that you will not be consuming
any items with dairy even if it is offered.
#Post#: 38229--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Rose Red Date: September 6, 2019, 10:24 am
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^ The posts and updates are confusing and I wondered about what
she considers "stinky" cheese too, but if it were me I'd simply
never serve any type of cheese to the OP. I admit I'm lazy and
won't bother learning what cheeses are acceptable and
unacceptable to her (does she like cheddar except when grated?
???). I certainly won't hide it though.
#Post#: 38231--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Irked Purist Date: September 6, 2019, 10:31 am
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Seconding Hmmm- apologies if I've misread your posts, but I'm
not clear on whether you've actually told him you don't like the
cheese, and/or asked him specifically not to add it to your
food.
The way I'm reading your OP, it doesn't look like you'd
mentioned it before his FB post, and to be honest I would not
interpret your response to, on its own, to be a request for no
cheese ever (especially if 'we need to talk about that' wasn't
followed by doing so). Admittedly I'm not hinty, but if someone
who'd eaten cheese without complaint- or said nothing- commented
as you did I might think that they just meant for that recipe or
that the dislike was recent, and his reply I'd interpret more
like 'that's new, what's happening'? than laughing at them.
#Post#: 38240--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: Venus193 Date: September 6, 2019, 1:54 pm
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This may be the last time I ever post anything like this.
Although he's my ex and our past relationship is ancient history
we did live together for four years. During this time he never
saw me put grated cheese in or on my food although he was
perfectly free to add it to his own. I never cooked with it and
I can't stand the smell of parmesan cheese or anything similar.
I also don't like blue cheese, limburger, or anything else like
it. We had a more recent conversation in which I told him about
the restaurant near one of my old offices that used to shave
"sheets" of that stuff onto side salads and I had sent one back
because I can't stand this stuff. After the second visit to
that restaurant I wouldn't go back because the whole place stank
of that stuff (in addition to being noisy because of lack of
carpets).
I will eat things like cheddar, brie, gouda, etc., but anything
with a strong smell that isn't garlic is off my menu.
This is exactly how I feel about this:
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1302.msg38221#msg38221
date=1567780465]
It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be
respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue.
Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not
something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even
head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with
cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your
back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.
I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat
anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about
food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?
[/quote]
Update:
He called this morning and we talked about this. I backed out
of going because I wasn't feeling well, oddly because something
I ate in the pub last night didn't agree with me. I will see
him on Sunday and got him to agree not to cook with that stuff
(which turns out to be pecorino romano; he doesn't eat locatelli
anymore). If I had ever cooked anything during our relationship
with any ingredient he didn't like he never said anything at the
time.
However if he ever makes Alfredo sauce I'm out of there.
#Post#: 38242--------------------------------------------------
Re: S/O of "But I don't want to eat that"
By: NFPwife Date: September 6, 2019, 2:23 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1302.msg38240#msg38240
date=1567796047]
This may be the last time I ever post anything like this.
Although he's my ex and our past relationship is ancient history
we did live together for four years. During this time he never
saw me put grated cheese in or on my food although he was
perfectly free to add it to his own. I never cooked with it and
I can't stand the smell of parmesan cheese or anything similar.
I also don't like blue cheese, limburger, or anything else like
it. We had a more recent conversation in which I told him about
the restaurant near one of my old offices that used to shave
"sheets" of that stuff onto side salads and I had sent one back
because I can't stand this stuff. After the second visit to
that restaurant I wouldn't go back because the whole place stank
of that stuff (in addition to being noisy because of lack of
carpets).
I will eat things like cheddar, brie, gouda, etc., but anything
with a strong smell that isn't garlic is off my menu.
This is exactly how I feel about this:
[quote author=Rose Red link=topic=1302.msg38221#msg38221
date=1567780465]
It doesn't matter why you won't eat certain foods. It should be
respected even if the reason is because the sky is blue.
Accidents happen but this sounds deliberate which is not
something a friend does. And the fact is that he's not even
head-on about it (for example, "I don't care. I'm cooking with
cheese. Like it or lump it."). He was being sneaky behind your
back and sneaky is what I'm offended about.
I'd either drop such a disrespectful person or refuse to eat
anything he prepares. Trust is gone. If he's untrustworthy about
food, what else is he untrustworthy and sneaky about?
[/quote]
Update:
He called this morning and we talked about this. I backed out
of going because I wasn't feeling well, oddly because something
I ate in the pub last night didn't agree with me. I will see
him on Sunday and got him to agree not to cook with that stuff
(which turns out to be pecorino romano; he doesn't eat locatelli
anymore). If I had ever cooked anything during our relationship
with any ingredient he didn't like he never said anything at the
time.
However if he ever makes Alfredo sauce I'm out of there.
[/quote]
Nice job setting and enforcing your boundary!
I'm sorry you feel that way about posting. I understand,
though. I started a post on the last forum and I found myself
talking/ yelling at the computer to some of the responses.
E.g. - Post - "What does the OP expect here?!" with an
implication that I was unreasonable.
Me, yelling at the screen, - "A thank you! I said that in my OP.
A basic (bleeping) thank you!"
So, if you've been yelling at your screen, I've been there and
I'm sorry. FWIW, this was a useful thread. I have a food I
hate. Everyone knows it. It's sometimes a joke, but no one
tries to sneak it to me and I'd consider it pretty hostile if
they knowingly gave it to me. (No, I don't expect ppl to
remember my strong preferences. but if they didn't know or
forget and gave it to me, I'd be angry. )
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