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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 37398--------------------------------------------------
Um... hi?
By: shadowfox79 Date: August 24, 2019, 2:30 pm
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Not sure quite how to deal with this one.
DH and I recently moved into a new build property. Since it was
a new build we spent a lot of time dealing with the agent,
"Lisa", getting updates and having meetings on what fixings and
so forth we wanted. As we're now in we haven't needed to do that
any more but have had to pop down to the site office several
times as we have a ten year maintenance contract with them.
Last night DH and I went out to a nightclub. At about 11 I went
to the bathroom and came out of the cubicle to see Lisa standing
in front of the sinks snorting a line of coke.
My initial reaction was to slip away and pretend I hadn't seen
her, but unfortunately Lisa looked up and caught my eye in the
mirror. In an attempt to be casual I just said "Hi" and quickly
left, but she looked very embarrassed to see me.
To be clear, while it's not for me, I really don't care what
recreational drugs people choose to do in their spare time. It
is, however, illegal in the UK, so I can see why she might have
felt awkward. My concern now is that if I have to go down to the
office again, it's going to be difficult dealing with her.
My thought is to just pretend I have no memory of the evening
and carry on as normal rather than try to address it. Does that
sound reasonable?
#Post#: 37399--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: Hanna Date: August 24, 2019, 2:35 pm
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Sheesh! Yes, I’d just pretend you didn’t see her at all next
time you have to go down there.
#Post#: 37400--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: sandisadie Date: August 24, 2019, 2:37 pm
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If it were me, I would just get the mindset that what she was
doing was nothing more then if you had seen her smoking in the
restroom. What she was doing actually has nothing to do with
you, or her dealings with you. She knew when she was doing her
drugs in the restroom that someone might come in and see her so
to her it is likely no big deal, and something she is used to
doing in public. Just interact with her as if you hadn't seen
her there. If she happens to say anything to you about it just
say that it's none of your business, and then get on with your
day.
#Post#: 37410--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: jpcher Date: August 24, 2019, 7:56 pm
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Throwing in my agreement with everybody else . . . pretend it
never happened.
If she mentions the incident I would play dumb "What are you
talking about? I never saw you at Xclub."
#Post#: 37423--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: shadowfox79 Date: August 25, 2019, 4:47 am
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Fair enough. It may be a while before I have to go back there
anyway so I should be able to play it convincingly.
#Post#: 37459--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: Runningstar Date: August 25, 2019, 8:06 pm
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Yikes, how awkward. I don't care what people want to do for the
most part. Mind my own business... except when I'm going to
someone for a business purpose. Then I expect a professional
and that includes (or in this case excludes) illegal drugs done
in a public place. Is Lisa privy to private financial, personal
information? Does she hold legal licenses - such as a real
estate agent, or as a contractor or the like? Then, yes, I'd be
very concerned.
What would I do about it? It would really depend on the answer
to just what (if any) of my business Lisa was involved in. If
it was in any way significant, then I'd be considering how to
end that professional relationship.
#Post#: 37466--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: browzer11 Date: August 25, 2019, 11:02 pm
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sandisadie ..."What she was doing actually has nothing to do
with you, or her dealings with you.".
That's ridiculous. Any person I deal with in any professional
setting will be cut off by me instantly if I know they are a
coke head.
Why some of you are defending this is astounding.
#Post#: 37468--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: LurkingGurl Date: August 26, 2019, 12:45 am
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I gotta agree that it's not nothing.
The builder rep has access to all sorts of personal information
of every buyer in the neighborhood. Not only that, but
typically they spend their days in the model home which means
they work in the neighborhood and they are bringing that habit
and possibly some of its more dangerous elements into that
community.
That's not ok.
But honestly, what would bother me more is her using out in the
open like she was doing. There is no reason why she couldn't go
into a stall and take her hit. Does she really think that no
one she does business with goes out to a night club?
It shows a serious lack of discretion on top of there also
possibly being an addiction issue.
But, I don't know what I would do about it. I would worry about
her going for revenge if the information was passed onto the
builder. But if I felt friendly enough with her, I would
probably bring the subject up and outline my concerns.
If you're going to do something illegal or illicit, it's up to
you to conceal your illegal or illicit activity if you want to
maintain connections with people who don't do illegal or illicit
things. I agree it's none of my business, whether it's drugs or
an affair. So don't make it my business. Because when push
comes to shove, I'm not going to put myself in jeopardy for
someone else's bad decisions and bad discretion.
#Post#: 37471--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: collakat Date: August 26, 2019, 6:20 am
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This would make me very uncomfortable. :o
I think the etiquette issue would be if she brings it up, maybe
to test if you are also into it or to validate her life choices.
If you don't have ethical objections just say that it is not
your scene but none of your business. If I was pushed for a
comment, I would give it. But your decision? If she does not
raise it, then it did not happen...
#Post#: 37473--------------------------------------------------
Re: Um... hi?
By: Hanna Date: August 26, 2019, 6:51 am
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[quote author=browzer11 link=topic=1297.msg37466#msg37466
date=1566792177]
sandisadie ..."What she was doing actually has nothing to do
with you, or her dealings with you.".
That's ridiculous. Any person I deal with in any professional
setting will be cut off by me instantly if I know they are a
coke head.
Why some of you are defending this is astounding.
[/quote]
She can’t “cut her off”. She is an agent with whom the OP has
business to conduct occasionally.
She can report her to whomever is above her, possibly. (Not sure
there is anyone above her.).
She can be cold and snotty. She can say something directly to
her.
None of those things sound like good options to me.
What would you do? Never speak to her again even if you needed
to exercise your warranty?
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