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#Post#: 37250--------------------------------------------------
Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is not
invited)?
By: SnappyLT Date: August 22, 2019, 12:55 pm
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I think what I did was probably OK, but just wondered how it
strikes others here.
I have cousins who live almost 2,000 miles away who have been
very kind to me and to my late parents over the years. One
cousin, "June," is in her early 70's and has a son, "Wally" who
is almost 40. June mentioned to me in an email about 1½ years
ago that Wally and his long-time girlfriend "Mary-Ellen," had
gotten engaged. There have been several mentions since then of
Wally and Mary-Ellen looking at houses, buying one, and fixing
it up.
Early this summer June mentioned in an e-mail that Wally was
flying out the following day for his "bachelor weekend" in New
York City.
I had heard of a bachelor party before, usually shortly before a
wedding. I made the assumption that a bachelor weekend was
similar.
I replied to June with my congratulations. I said I was very
happy for Wally and Mary-Ellen and asked June to please e-mail
me a link so that I could see pictures online after the upcoming
wedding.
That was almost two months ago and I have not had any emails at
all from June since then.
I understand that there could be many reasons for the silence
from June - sometimes we do go a month or two or even three
without contact - but I am wondering if I was off-putting or
rude to ask to see pictures of a wedding I'm not invited to?
#Post#: 37251--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: Hanna Date: August 22, 2019, 12:58 pm
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I think it’s lovely to ask because I LOVE when people ask to see
pictures of my wedding.
I don’t want to bore people but just enjoy showing them.
#Post#: 37255--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: Hmmm Date: August 22, 2019, 1:31 pm
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I do not believe it is rude to ask to see pictures.
Frequently a bachelor/bachelorette weekend can be up to a month
before the actual wedding so she could still be busy with after
events. Also, the pictures may not be available yet either.
Since you don't know when the wedding was planned for, I'd
probably just reach out in a few weeks with a "just thinking of
you" type message.
#Post#: 37260--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: TootsNYC Date: August 22, 2019, 2:32 pm
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I don't think it's rude in the least.
In fact, when you are not invited, I think that asking for
pictures in the way that you did can be a way to say, "I'm not
expecting an invite," and yet indicating that there are no hard
feelings.
I suppose one could ask in a way that left the impression you're
saying, "aha, I notice that I am being deliberately left out,
and so I'm passive aggressively hinting by asking for pictures,"
but I think you'd have to be pretty deliberate before people
took it that way.
#Post#: 37268--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: Runningstar Date: August 22, 2019, 4:26 pm
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I don't think that it is rude - but I did wonder how you knew
for sure that you weren't invited? A bachelor's weekend might
happen before the invitations go out.
Also - I have known a couple of brides to be that would have
taken issue with their MIL sharing pictures. Who knows, maybe
this is the case for your cousin.
#Post#: 37271--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: TootsNYC Date: August 22, 2019, 4:39 pm
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she may also have felt self-conscious about sending them when
you weren't invited.
If it was me that was your cousin, it would just be that I was a
combo of lazy and forgetful.
#Post#: 37275--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: Runningstar Date: August 22, 2019, 6:20 pm
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[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1291.msg37271#msg37271
date=1566509961]
she may also have felt self-conscious about sending them when
you weren't invited.
[/quote]
This is exactly how I myself would be - it would be awkward imo,
even though you asked for the pictures
#Post#: 37291--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: Rose Red Date: August 22, 2019, 10:31 pm
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Has the wedding happened yet? Doesn't professional wedding
pictures take a while to be available? I vaguely remember it
took at least a month back in the day.
I don't think you were rude. Maybe there's just nothing to show
yet. Or maybe it slipped her mind since it's normal for you two
to go months without contact.
#Post#: 37304--------------------------------------------------
Re: Is it polite to ask to please see pictures later (if one is
not invited)?
By: Chez Miriam Date: August 23, 2019, 8:27 am
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I think asking takes an interest, and shows an effort to
continue with a long-distance relationship.
But I'm speaking as someone who loves looking at other people's
photographs!
I would be inclined to wait until June contacts you again, and
if no link is provided, maybe ask again then [if the email
hasn't the tone of "I'm not allowed to share the pics with other
people]?
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