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#Post#: 35730--------------------------------------------------
Unwanted donation
By: Contrarian Date: August 1, 2019, 7:49 am
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Miss Manners today was about a person who took a bag full of
clothes she didn’t want and left it on her friends porch, while
said friend was at work, without making any prior arrangements.
I was surprised at the amount of commenters that thought it was
no big deal. They didn’t understand those who said what an
inconvenience it was for the unsuspecting recipient. They were
saying things like “just take it to a goodwill, how hard is
that?”
Of course, the same could be said of the friend who dropped off
the clothes in the first place.
This is what it sounds like happened.
I no longer want any of this but Maggie will.
I’m so sure she’ll want it, that I’m going to leave it on her
porch while she’s not home giving her no chance to refuse it.
I can’t believe Maggie just called me to ask me if I want these
clothes back, I obviously don’t want them and I can’t possibly
believe she doesn’t want them. She should just put them in her
closet and try them out at least.
Personally, I don’t drive, so it is hard for me to dispose of a
bag of clothes.
I’m don’t have any time between work, kid and hospital visits
for this.
I find the bi-weekly porch of actual garbage a joyless chore.
I experience (I don’t like the term suffer for some reason)
severe bouts of depression. Bouts meaning three to five years at
a time and coming home from work and finding a new unexpected
chore to deal with during a time I’m trying to pull myself out
of a dark muddy whole can be overwhelming.
That’s just me personally, but so many commentators are just
casually saying “no big deal” when there are obviously so many
different ways that so many different people would be
inconvenienced by this that I’m appalled with this perspective.
The thing is, I assume most of us don’t go around telling our
friends that we’re really busy, or really tired, or housework is
getting us down, or the car is acting wonky and I don’t have the
cash to fix it right now (I don’t drive but I assume that could
be a thing). You just don’t know that dropping a bag full of
unwanted clothes in someone’s porch wouldn’t be an
inconvenience. I think that’s something a regular person would
consider. Why on earth not just ask?
I get that it wouldn’t be a problem for some people. But that’s
not just something you can assume.
What do you think?
#Post#: 35732--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Dazi Date: August 1, 2019, 7:56 am
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I don't want someone else's garbage. They could at least have
the decency to call me to ask if I wanted to go through the bag
of donation stuff first, and if I said no, then they need to
dispose of it themselves.
I have several friends and family members who wear similarly
sized clothes. I had several bags of stuff recently that I was
planning to drop off at the thrift store. I asked them first if
they wanted to go through it. They did and since they decided to
keep most of it, they graciously dropped off the leftover stuff
at the thrift store when they were done. However, this was
discussed. I didn't just do a drop and run!
#Post#: 35733--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: DaDancingPsych Date: August 1, 2019, 7:59 am
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I do drive and I would find that to be a huge inconvenience.
Even if there was a donation drop-off along my regular route, I
would need to get the clothes into my car, arrange to leave a
few minutes early, find the place, remove them from car to
drop-off, and carry-on. This might be 5-10 minutes total
(although I would argue that making the arrangements takes time
and thought power, too), but every minute is precious. Had the
friend asked me to do her a favor like this, I would have
probably done it without thinking twice (in fact, I did do
something like this once for someone), but it's the idea that
the person didn't ask. They forced. And really it sounds like
they are forcing the clothes on this person doesn't even want
them.
We have a local veterans group that operates a truck that comes
to your house and picks up donations. It is so much more
convenient! However, even this takes time to schedule a pick-up
and get the donations on the porch... I would still not be
impressed by this friend.
#Post#: 35735--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Winterlight Date: August 1, 2019, 8:20 am
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I also do not drive, so I'd be looking at a bus trip that would
take at least 45 minutes each way to take it to a charity shop.
I'd be pretty annoyed, especially if I hadn't been asked in
advance and the clothes weren't my size or style.
#Post#: 35739--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Andi_3k Date: August 1, 2019, 10:16 am
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I do drive and I would be ticked at this. What makes the
“friend” think I want her garbage or have time to do her chores?
Seriously, ask first, do your own chores or come back and clean
up your leavings. Honestly- I think I would find a way to leave
them back at the “friends” house
#Post#: 35740--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Thitpualso Date: August 1, 2019, 10:24 am
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I would certainly return the bag to its original owner. It may
be acceptable to do this sort of thing for baby clothes but it’s
insulting to assume that another adult woman wants a bag of
castoffs.
#Post#: 35742--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Aleko Date: August 1, 2019, 10:56 am
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I'd keep the bag till I had occasion to go to or past the
friend's house, and drop them right back on her doorstep.
#Post#: 35746--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: sandisadie Date: August 1, 2019, 11:21 am
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Personally, it would never cross my mind to leave anything on a
friend, or neighbor's porch unless I'd gotten an ok from them
first. I've known of people who will leave fresh veggies and
fruits on porches; but this has been talked about sometime in
the past and approved by the receiver.
#Post#: 35754--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Sycorax Date: August 1, 2019, 12:41 pm
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I have a hard enough time remembering to take my own donations
somewhere. I'd be really annoyed that someone just dumped their
trash on me without asking first.
#Post#: 35757--------------------------------------------------
Re: Unwanted donation
By: Jayhawk Date: August 1, 2019, 12:46 pm
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What about calling Donor and asking her to come back by and pick
it up?
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