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#Post#: 34597--------------------------------------------------
questions about my therapist
By: Victoria Date: July 15, 2019, 5:53 pm
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I started seeing a new therapist a month ago and I've had four
sessions. The first session was devoted almost entirely to doing
administrative things like photocopying my driver's license and
insurance card, and going through a general questionnaire. I
email the therapist from the email address that starts with
"VictoriaSmith@."
At the end of each session, she pauses and handwrites a bill
memo with a "next appointment" reminder, and keeps the carbon
copy. It's not an actual bill, since she bills my insurance
company directly, it just seems to be a memo. I had been
wondering why no claims had shown up on my insurance. Today I
happened to glance the latest bill memo. It had the wrong first
name on it. When I looked at the others, the only one on which
she'd written my actual first name was the first. The names are
not close at all, like a Meagan/Megan/Meghan situation, and
instead of "Victoria Smith" the last three say "Becky Smith." In
addition to that, in week two I was assigned some "homework"
(after expressing my desire for structure) which she has
forgotten about (at the fourth session she even commented, "I'll
give you your first homework assignment next time.")
Obviously I'll alert her to the error for billing purposes, but
I'm honestly a bit hurt that she apparently thinks my name is
Becky. However, I should have probably caught it before now-I
saw the bill memos for my records and glanced at the amount to
make sure it's correct, but have missed the "Patient Name"
section three times.
I'm not really sure what to do at this point or if this is an
issue worth shopping for a new therapist over, and I'm also open
to the possibility that I'm overreacting. If you think that this
is worth raising and ending the relationship over, can you help
me with the wording of the email?
#Post#: 34598--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Thitpualso Date: July 15, 2019, 6:24 pm
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Dear Victoria,
The success of both physical and emotional therapy depends on a
certain relationship of trust and understanding between the
therapist and the client. Since your therapist hasn’t been able
to get your name right after four sessions or remember what
happened in earlier meetings, I would say this person is not a
good fit for you.
I’m not a professional in the field of therapy but I would
advise you to run like a citizen of Tokyo fleeing Godzilla and
find another therapist. This one is not going to do you any
good.
#Post#: 34600--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Winterlight Date: July 15, 2019, 7:36 pm
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Yikes. I tend to agree that after four sessions she should have
your name right, and if she can't manage that much, it's not
really going to build your confidence and trust with her.
#Post#: 34608--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Bada Date: July 15, 2019, 10:50 pm
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Insurance claims can take a long time to process, so it could be
that is what's slowing it down.
But it sounds like you haven't made a connection with this
therapist at all. I'd cut my losses. It sounds like her style
doesn't fit what you want/need I don't think you need to say
anything long, just:
Dear Therapist,
I appreciate the help you have provided, but I feel like we're
not a good fit. I would like to cancel my next session and all
future sessions. Thank you.
(I ran this language past a psychiatrist. He says be sure you
clearly say you're leaving so they know they can close your
file. He also said, your therapist is a professional, she's not
going to be mad if you move on.)
#Post#: 34616--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Chez Miriam Date: July 16, 2019, 5:02 am
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This thread reminds me that I should go and post a glowing
review on Google about my new therapist!
She emailed me all the KYC stuff well before our appointment,
and I filled it in a emailed it back to her, so our entire
session was spent dealing with my problem [she even ran the
session over, because she felt I needed help then-and-there, and
she had no-one next], and has emailed me since to check I'm
doing OK and coping with the homework.
I only changed therapists because the last session with my
previous chap was so marked a contrast to our others sessions:
he didn't provide the CD he promised, seemed a bit cross with
me, and repeated several times that I 'knew how to handle this';
if I'd felt that way, I wouldn't have made the appointment. :-\
Because I was paying to see him privately, I just didn't make
any further appointments, but if it's through your insurance, I
would use Bada's wording to terminate the relationship and find
the energy to make the efforts to find a therapist that suits
you; I'm not convinced you will make the best progress with
someone who seems this sloppy?
If you were saying "I'm a bit concerned about the paperwork, and
don't want to leave her because she's a fantastic therapist;
help!" I wouldn't be advising seeking someone new, but she
doesn't seem to have made the necessary connection with you,
does she? Easier to change now than later.
#Post#: 34628--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: DaDancingPsych Date: July 16, 2019, 7:36 am
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I am not a therapist. But I am terrible with names and
remembering things. I use coping mechanisms, like writing things
down! Before every session, I would be reviewing my notes from
the previous one to ensure that I had your name right and if
there was anything that I needed to remember (like homework.)
Again, I am not a therapist and don't know what the norm is, but
these seem like fairly simple thing to do.
I agree, you need to make a connection with this person and
unless there is a reason why you would stay, I would move on. I
would want to work with someone who is fully invested in my
sessions from week to week.
#Post#: 34636--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Chez Miriam Date: July 16, 2019, 9:28 am
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[quote author=Chez Miriam link=topic=1229.msg34616#msg34616
date=1563271352]
This thread reminds me that I should go and post a glowing
review on Google about my new therapist!
<snip>
[/quote]
I went from this thread, and posted my review, and came back
from doing something else to find a lovely email from New
Therapist thanking me for my review, and saying she is glad I'm
doing so well...
That is the sort of therapist everyone deserves; please don't
settle for less.
[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1229.msg34628#msg34628
date=1563280564]
I am not a therapist. But I am terrible with names and
remembering things. I use coping mechanisms, like writing things
down! Before every session, I would be reviewing my notes from
the previous one to ensure that I had your name right and if
there was anything that I needed to remember (like homework.)
Again, I am not a therapist and don't know what the norm is, but
these seem like fairly simple thing to do.
I agree, you need to make a connection with this person and
unless there is a reason why you would stay, I would move on. I
would want to work with someone who is fully invested in my
sessions from week to week.
[/quote]
DDP is right: reminding yourself of a name seems pretty basic
from a professional, especially one who is being paid to care
(amongst other things) about your feelings of self-worth and
self-esteem.
#Post#: 34641--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Hmmm Date: July 16, 2019, 9:43 am
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I would start looking for a different therapist. Red flags for
me is she is not reviewing her notes on your case (forgotten
homework) prior to your appointment. I could see this happening
a few times over many years of therapy but since you are in the
early days, I would think she would be putting more effort in.
The other red flag is you saying you spent the first session on
administrative work. Those are things that should be done
outside of session and you not be billed an hourly rate for her
time.
#Post#: 34667--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: JeanFromBNA Date: July 16, 2019, 1:39 pm
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[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1229.msg34641#msg34641
date=1563288223]
I would start looking for a different therapist. Red flags for
me is she is not reviewing her notes on your case (forgotten
homework) prior to your appointment. I could see this happening
a few times over many years of therapy but since you are in the
early days, I would think she would be putting more effort in.
The other red flag is you saying you spent the first session on
administrative work. Those are things that should be done
outside of session and you not be billed an hourly rate for her
time.
[/quote]
Came here to say that. If she's billed your insurance for a
session spent on administrative work, it's probably against
their policy, and you should alert the company.
#Post#: 34695--------------------------------------------------
Re: questions about my therapist
By: Winterlight Date: July 16, 2019, 4:03 pm
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[quote author=Bada link=topic=1229.msg34608#msg34608
date=1563249026]
Insurance claims can take a long time to process, so it could be
that is what's slowing it down.
But it sounds like you haven't made a connection with this
therapist at all. I'd cut my losses. It sounds like her style
doesn't fit what you want/need I don't think you need to say
anything long, just:
Dear Therapist,
I appreciate the help you have provided, but I feel like we're
not a good fit. I would like to cancel my next session and all
future sessions. Thank you.
(I ran this language past a psychiatrist. He says be sure you
clearly say you're leaving so they know they can close your
file. He also said, your therapist is a professional, she's not
going to be mad if you move on.)
[/quote]
And if she does get mad? You know you definitely made the right
decision!
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