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       #Post#: 34702--------------------------------------------------
       Re: I've just about had it.
       By: TootsNYC Date: July 16, 2019, 4:45 pm
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       Anytime you get guilt-trip attempts from B about the charity,
       just say, "I honor our sister in my own way."
       #Post#: 34717--------------------------------------------------
       Re: I've just about had it. Update
       By: prock929 Date: July 16, 2019, 8:42 pm
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       Update:
       B just called to apologize for the way she treated me on Sunday.
       She said she was just stressed about everything with the event
       and took it out on me.  The three of us are actually pretty
       close, but we can all have an attitude from time to time.  As
       far as the charity is concerned, I'm still going to limit my
       involvement in it, primarily as a way of cutting down on my own
       stress.
       #Post#: 34719--------------------------------------------------
       Re: I've just about had it.
       By: Hanna Date: July 16, 2019, 10:12 pm
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       That’s wonderful! Great that she apologized and smart on your
       part to stick with your plan.
       #Post#: 34733--------------------------------------------------
       Re: I've just about had it.
       By: Chez Miriam Date: July 17, 2019, 5:46 am
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       I totally agree with Hanna - that's a great result, but I think
       you're absolutely right to minimise the opportunities for
       sibling spats.
       #Post#: 34882--------------------------------------------------
       Re: I've just about had it.
       By: gmatoy Date: July 18, 2019, 9:52 pm
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       [quote author=Lkdrymom link=topic=1228.msg34531#msg34531
       date=1563187248]
       I understand where you are coming from.  You are there to help
       and get criticized for every little thing.  Even if you did do
       anything wrong (and I am not saying you did) to be harshly
       reprimanded rather than politely corrected really stings. I
       experienced something similar while visiting my father's
       assisted living facility yesterday and it makes me not to want
       to ever go back due to the critiques of staff members (You need
       to walk behind him instead of in front of him in case he
       falls...I understand what they are saying but my father won't
       walk without me leading him. He will keep stopping to see where
       I am and we wouldn't get anywhere which is why I lead him...this
       was just one of several reprimands that day).
       If you don't want to discontinue with the charity totally I
       would just be unavailable for the next two events.
       [/quote]
       Lkdrymom, Um, I would inform them that you are not staff. When
       my dad was in a nursing home, I refused to do anything that was
       their job. I would say, "He needs someone behind him? Okay,
       then you need to be there. "
       I was not, and still am not able to do that (catch them) for
       anyone.
       (Hugs) It is hard enough to see your family member not as you
       remember them, without being scolded on top of it.  (If they
       have a social worker there, could you let them know how you
       felt? Enough people have no one to come to see them without
       making it worse.)
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