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#Post#: 33766--------------------------------------------------
Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: July 2, 2019, 10:09 am
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I am now second guessing myself and worried that I did something
really wrong.
I work for a dance school. A schedule is set each year as to
which classes various teachers will have, which is set by Boss.
She selects which teacher would be best taking into
consideration the skills and availability of the teacher.
In passing, one of my coworkers (a fellow teacher) mentioned
that she was considering to drop one (of three) of her days of
teaching this upcoming season. At the time of this chat, she had
not made a decision. I noted that I liked her classes on this
day, was qualified to teach them, so I mentioned to Boss that I
was available for an extra day if she needed me (no mention of
Coworker or her classes) and left it at that.
Boss came to me a few days ago and offered me an extra day
(which I recognized as Coworker's former classes.) I figured
that Coworker did decide to drop this day and that was why they
were being offered to me. I accepted and figured that all was
right with the world. (But you know how we function here, so you
know that it is not.)
I talked to Coworker today and she did NOT drop this day. She
had decided to stay with three, but Boss opted to only use her
for two. I feel awful for her. To make matters worse, I am
realizing from Coworker's description of things and in hindsight
from my conversations with Boss that Boss made this decision
because she no longer wanted Coworker teaching them (likely
performance related.) My offer probably pushed Boss's decision.
I am not unbiased in this situation, but my best attempt at
being so... I am more qualified than Coworker. She's a good
worker in that she shows up on time and does the job. But I have
many more years of training, experience, certifications, and
even seniority within the organization. I could see things in
her work that needed improvement (but I suppose someone might
say the same with mine.) Boss needed to provide her with more
guidance and assistance, but she did not. Despite the fact that
Boss should have provided more coaching, I am probably the
better choice.
However, I did not make the offer to work more to "steal"
Coworker's classes (and she has not come out and said that). I
saw a potential opportunity and figured I would throw my hat in
the ring and see what happens. I never imagined that things
would pan out this way. Coworker does not know that I made the
offer; rather she thinks that Boss simply removed her and put me
in. And, because I apparently like to put my foot in my mouth, I
am the one that pointed out the change to Coworker. (Boss does
not always notify us as to when the schedule goes live, so I
clued Coworker in not realizing that this is not the schedule
that she wanted.)
I like Coworker (we are friendly outside of work, too) and do
not want there to be any hard feelings. But I can't help but
feeling like I stabbed her in the back in a bit. I am not sure
how to move forward. I would like to continue my friendship with
Coworker (both professionally and personally), but I am also
grateful for this opportunity that Boss has provided. Thoughts?
#Post#: 33769--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: Hmmm
Date: July 2, 2019, 11:24 am
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I don't think you did anything wrong since you didn't
specifically say you were interested in this specific class. To
me her comment made you aware that you were willing to take on
another day and you shared that with Boss. Boss used that
information to make a decision about her dance school and to
assure her clients are getting the best possible experience.
If you think of this from a client perspective, the clients will
be the overall winners in this new scenario.
#Post#: 33770--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: Sycorax
Date: July 2, 2019, 11:29 am
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I don't think you did anything wrong, either. It doesn't sound
like you were deliberately poaching coworker's classes.
#Post#: 33773--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: July 2, 2019, 11:50 am
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Thank you both!
--- Quote from: Pandorica link ---
>
> I don't think you did anything wrong, either. It doesn't sound
like you were deliberately poaching coworker's classes.
>
--- End Quote ---
I really was not deliberately doing this. I just figured that
*IF* the classes were up for grabs that I should make my desire
known. I never imagined that Boss would push Coworker out.
However, I am concerned that Coworker thinks that I did... :(
#Post#: 33784--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: ncgal
Date: July 2, 2019, 1:48 pm
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I wouldn't worry about it. I spend half my life in the dance
studio as a dance mom (boring, nothing like shown on tv). the
owners/managers of studio pick instructors for class that is
best suited for the dancers. They knew you where available for
more, so it appears that they think that you are the best one
for those classes.
#Post#: 33785--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: Kimberami
Date: July 2, 2019, 1:54 pm
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Between you and your coworker, I would use the less said sooner
mended approach. You didn't do anything wrong so there is no
need to explain your actions. That being said, you can't control
the feelings of another person. If she is upset/hurt/relieved,
that is on her.
#Post#: 33789--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: Gellchom
Date: July 2, 2019, 3:11 pm
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--- Quote from: Kimpossible link ---
>
> Between you and your coworker, I would use the less said
sooner mended approach. You didn't do anything wrong so there is
no need to explain your actions. That being said, you can't
control the feelings of another person. If she is
upset/hurt/relieved, that is on her.
>
--- End Quote ---
Absolutely.
Has she even indicated to you that she thinks you had anything
to do with it, or that she even knows you had mentioned you
would be available to pick up another class?
Don't poke this with a stick!
#Post#: 33791--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: DaDancingPsych
Date: July 2, 2019, 3:32 pm
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--- Quote from: Gellchom link ---
>
>
> Has she even indicated to you that she thinks you had anything
to do with it, or that she even knows you had mentioned you
would be available to pick up another class?
>
>
--- End Quote ---
No, although she asked how I managed to score an extra night.
That is when I said that after she asked to cut back (my
assumption) that I got the call. That is when she informed me
that she did not cut back and I realized what really happened.
So far, no emotion has been directed at me. Coworker is upset
with Boss for not honoring her wishes and not giving her the
guidance to be successful. If she ever found out that I
requested the extra night, I am not sure if reaction would be
different.
#Post#: 33804--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: jpcher
Date: July 2, 2019, 4:35 pm
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Conflicting statements here. In your OP you said:
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> so I mentioned to Boss that I was available for an extra day
if she needed me (no mention of Coworker or her classes) and
left it at that.
>
--- End Quote ---
An extra day meaning anytime on the schedule would be fine with
you, right?
Your last post said:
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> If she ever found out that I requested the extra night, I am
not sure if reaction would be different.
>
--- End Quote ---
But according to your OP you didn't request the extra night. Or
did you?
Please be honest with us so that we can help you in the best
possible manner.
#Post#: 33807--------------------------------------------------
Re: Second Guessing My Actions
DIR By: Surly
Date: July 2, 2019, 4:44 pm
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--- Quote from: jpcher link ---
>
> Conflicting statements here. In your OP you said:
>
> [quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1213.msg33766#msg33766
date=1562080171]
> so I mentioned to Boss that I was available for an extra day
if she needed me (no mention of Coworker or her classes) and
left it at that.
>
--- End Quote ---
An extra day meaning anytime on the schedule would be fine with
you, right?
Your last post said:
--- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
>
> If she ever found out that I requested the extra night, I am
not sure if reaction would be different.
>
--- End Quote ---
But according to your OP you didn't request the extra night. Or
did you?
Please be honest with us so that we can help you in the best
possible manner.
[/quote]
?? I don't think this conflicts at all. OP doesn't say
anywhere that she asked for a specific night. Accusing her of
lying is bizarre.
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