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#Post#: 30392--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Hanna Date: May 3, 2019, 12:59 pm
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Definitely no need for a passive aggressive or authoritarian
response.
#Post#: 30402--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: oogyda Date: May 3, 2019, 4:55 pm
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[quote author=Hanna link=topic=1114.msg30392#msg30392
date=1556906396]
Definitely no need for a passive aggressive or authoritarian
response.
[/quote]
My suggestion was very much tongue in cheek. As fun as it would
be to do, I agree that there's no need to be passive aggressive.
However, I don't think being direct is "authoritarian".
"Wondering if" he could move his meetings or "suggesting"
something more appropriate is like JADEing. It leaves too much
open to arguement or interpretation.
#Post#: 30422--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Dazi Date: May 3, 2019, 9:19 pm
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with stating "Your meeting is
disturbing the other teams, please move it into a conference
room. Thank you." It's polite, but doesn't give room for excuses
and you aren't asking either.
#Post#: 30448--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Lula Date: May 4, 2019, 10:45 am
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You're a manager. Being authoritative and braving the political
BS to advocate for your team is your job. It's not like you'd
be taking an ego trip just for your own satisfaction.
#Post#: 30449--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Hanna Date: May 4, 2019, 11:22 am
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So many of these answers seem to come from a place of fear of
not being listened to, or from a place of not being able to
speak up so trying to be tough instead. There’s so much tied up
in all that.
I’ve never had those problems in my life or my career. I address
issues, I don’t need to be told to “put on my big girl pants.” I
find that phrase demeaning to women, in fact.
I don’t need to “tell” a peer what to do, I treat them the way I
want to be treated. I wouldn’t respect a peer directing me.
Instead I’d appreciate someone explaining the problem and
trusting that I’d listen and solve it.
I know this guy will, I just wanted to be thoughtful about the
way I address it. It’s an ecosystem and the way we behave with
one impacts everyone around us.
#Post#: 30451--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: OnyxBird Date: May 4, 2019, 11:43 am
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[quote author=Hanna link=topic=1114.msg30449#msg30449
date=1556986922]
So many of these answers seem to come from a place of fear of
not being listened to, or from a place of not being able to
speak up so trying to be tough instead. There’s so much tied up
in all that.
I’ve never had those problems in my life or my career. I address
issues, I don’t need to be told to “put in my big girl pants.” I
find that phrase demeaning to women, in fact.
I don’t need to “tell” a peer what to do, I treat them the way I
want to be treated. I wouldn’t respect a peer directing me.
Instead I’d appreciate someone explaining the problem and
trusting that I’d listen and solve it.
I know this guy will, I just wanted to be thoughtful about the
way I address it. It’s an ecosystem and the way we behave with
one impacts everyone around us.
[/quote]
You seem very confident that you know how to address this better
than the people offering advice (and indeed, you obviously know
the players better than people on the internet with only your
description to go off of). So...why did you ask for advice
instead of just dealing with the problem?
You aren't obligated to take the advice offered here, and
sometimes advice is most useful for making you realize that the
approach you were leaning towards really is more appropriate to
the specific situation than the (necessarily more generic)
strategies offered by outsiders. However, it's pretty reasonable
for posters to guess/assume that you aren't confident that you
will be listened to and/or aren't confident that the offender
will be reasonable, because that's often why people need to seek
advice on strategy rather than just dealing with the situation
right off the bat. By all means, move forward the way that makes
sense for your office, but criticizing the (varied) advice that
you asked for as passive aggressive, authoritarian, or fearful
isn't very kind to those who were trying to help you.
#Post#: 30453--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Hanna Date: May 4, 2019, 11:59 am
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[quote author=Lilac link=topic=1114.msg30315#msg30315
date=1556818924]
Does the stand-up meeting happen at a set time? If so, in your
shoes I would visit my direct reports' cubicles at that time to
hear the disruption first-hand.
Then when the meeting ends I would waylay the other manager:
"Rick, I need to speak with you privately for a moment. Please
join me in the conference room."
In private, "Rick, is there a reason you are not using this room
for your meetings?" after he replies, "Well, unfortunately
using the kitchen is really disruptive to other teams. How do
you propose to address that?"
If he's adamant that he'll continue using the kitchen, can some
of his team members be moved to the nearby cubicles, and yours
moved further away, and nearer to you?
[/quote]
I think this is very helpful advice
#Post#: 30454--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Hanna Date: May 4, 2019, 12:00 pm
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1114.msg30250#msg30250
date=1556723899]
If he thinks standup meetings are hip he can perfectly well have
them in a conference room - he just needs to stack chairs way
before they begin. But he needs to be made aware that
inconveniencing the people whose workstation is next to the
kitchen, and of course any of 70-odd people who might actually
be wanting to use the kitchen for its proper purpose, is most
definitely not hip.
[/quote]
Also very helpful advice
#Post#: 30456--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Hanna Date: May 4, 2019, 12:10 pm
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[quote author=STiG link=topic=1114.msg30252#msg30252
date=1556724192]
I think you are going to have to bite the bullet and ask the
other manager to move his meetings to a conference room. If you
want to be a little more stealthy about it, have your staff
email you when it starts and make a point of going in there to
get something.
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem going into the lunchroom
and using it for its intended purpose, even if there is a
meeting going on. In my office, people are in and out all day,
getting coffee and water, making tea, grabbing a snack, etc.
If he says something, then the response is: I'm sorry but this
is the only place where we can get our tea, coffee, lunch, etc.
Perhaps you should move your meeting to a MEETING room, rather
than the lunchroom?
[/quote]
This too.
I could provide more examples, but these three I’ve quoted
embody why I posted this topic here for discussion. I really
appreciate these and they will help inform the action I take.
Feeling dog-piled by people that misconstrue situations and
people involved in a condescending fashion has been a stated
reason people either left the forum or stopped creating topics.
I’ve been around long enough that I realize it’s just coming
from a few people, and I always get great advice from so many
here. Rejecting condescending advice and “grow up and manage”
kinds of comments doesn’t mean I don’t want/need and appreciate
advice from anyone at all or that I’m not agreeable to
respectful discussion.
#Post#: 30464--------------------------------------------------
Re: Dealing with complaints from direct reports about shared spa
ces and other managers
By: Lilac Date: May 4, 2019, 1:17 pm
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I agree that "grow up" or the vile "put on your big panties"
comments are less than helpful. There are many different styles
of communication and conflict management even among "grown-ups."
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