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#Post#: 30536--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: Hmmm Date: May 6, 2019, 9:02 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1111.msg30432#msg30432
date=1556965086]
[quote]The definition of elope has definitely changed over my
lifetime.[/quote]
In America, evidently yes. But bear in mind - given that this is
an international board - that it has not changed in Rightpondia:
if you use the word elope or elopement to British people, that
will certainly suggest to them that the principals are running
away from family who will try to stop the wedding.
[/quote]
Your query in post 26 was specifically about the USA.
"- and I'd still like to have it confirmed that in the USA
'eloping'"
#Post#: 30554--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: Lilac Date: May 6, 2019, 12:49 pm
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[quote author=STiG link=topic=1111.msg30527#msg30527
date=1557141956]
I'm assuming the new addition was an add on to their house. So
a house warming party for part of the house, in essence.
[/quote]
Yes, the party was to celebrate the new addition to their house,
which pretty much all of the invitees were aware had been under
construction for some time. I didn't name the type of room it
was for privacy reasons but think "party to celebrate our new
sun porch" kind of thing.
#Post#: 30691--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: bopper Date: May 8, 2019, 4:04 pm
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You could get married whenever, then have a "blessing" and a
reception at another time.
I think you should pay for the flower girl dresses at least.
#Post#: 30707--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: ctmichelle Date: May 8, 2019, 8:03 pm
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Hey everyone, I will try to clear up some misunderstandings
about my post about my 'elopement' and then a ceremony or party
after.
It would not be a 'big, white wedding' but a small, ivory
wedding. I thought having all our family participating in the
day would have everyone feel included and part of the new
family, even though all our children are grown and live away.
Everyone would wear whatever they already had, no tuxes or
matching dresses for anyone. The grand-daughters would just wear
a flower wreath on their heads, carry a tiny bouquet, and if
they wanted to walk down and then sit with their moms or dads,
that is all. My dress is something I found on ebay, a vintage
lace knee length one I bought for $40. My son would not 'give me
away', but escort me down a tiny aisle, only 45-50 people in a
room for the reception on the other side.
A few years ago, I was told I should wear a pale blue pantsuit
and just go to the courthouse and get it over with, like it was
shameful that two older people found love again. I am not
looking for it to be 'my year' or even 'my week' but I would
enjoy a little attention for one afternoon. Don't we all enjoy
the brief attention we get when we sew a beautiful garment, cook
a fabulous meal, create a great event?
I enjoy the wedding ceremony and do feel a bit emotional hearing
the vows and seeing the pageantry of a wedding.
#Post#: 30708--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: Hanna Date: May 8, 2019, 8:28 pm
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I think that sounds lovely.
#Post#: 30710--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: lakey Date: May 8, 2019, 8:49 pm
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The update is good clarification. If your fiance is fine with
it, then do it.
#Post#: 30713--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: kglory Date: May 8, 2019, 8:59 pm
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That sounds beautiful. As your family member I'd be happy to
attend, to share in the joy and see you so happy :)
#Post#: 30754--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: Gellchom Date: May 9, 2019, 12:32 pm
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I agree that it sounds lovely. I wish I were invited! :)
The issue that a lot of us are seeing doesn't have anything to
do with age, number of marriages, white vs. ivory, or anything
about the clothes, food, or other arrangements.
It's just the idea of having two weddings, months apart, for the
same marriage, without any exigent circumstances that make it
truly necessary if there is to be any celebration at all (for
example, we've seen, in the past, situations involving imminent
deployment or deportation, dying parents, serious medical
situation of bride or groom).
But that's no crime against the nation, either, and you're not
hurting anyone. My concern is that YOU will feel funny about
it. To the extent that you think that others may have an
opinion that it's a little silly or something, whether that
matters depends upon whether you care about that. Some people
do, some don't.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a little special attention!
You don't need to feel bad about that. But you can't control
others' opinions. Obviously, this is not like having five huge
ceremonies and receptions with lots of guests just because you
couldn't decide on venue or because you need THAT much
attention. I think most people would agree that that would be
silly. At the other end of the spectrum, I think most people
(not all, as we know!) wouldn't think ill of a truly private
ceremony and a larger event as well, especially if they are
close in time.
You are between those two ends of the spectrum -- exactly where
isn't the point, because the only point that matters is the
point at which YOU start to feel self-conscious.
#Post#: 30856--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: Lilac Date: May 10, 2019, 7:13 pm
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Still not understanding why you need to reenact a months-old
wedding ceremony instead of just hosting a celebratory party.
Why not have the actual wedding as you describe instead of a
private one and then reenactment months later? Presumably your
fiance will be at both so how does it spare him to double the
events? Seriously perplexed.
If it’s just so you each can experience your preferred “vision”
of a wedding — well, sorry, no. At some point you need to
decide.
#Post#: 30859--------------------------------------------------
Re: Reception after elopement?
By: Gellchom Date: May 10, 2019, 7:41 pm
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Really it seems to come down to the bride and groom having very
different visions and preferences. The OP wants to know if it’s
an okay solution to do both rather than choose or compromise.
I’m sorry to be a wet blanket, but I think most people would
find it eye-rolling.
Not to mention that the marriage being celebrated is going to
require many more compromises, some very tough. I’d find a way
to compromise on the wedding, too.
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