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       #Post#: 41579--------------------------------------------------
       Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
       By: Hmmm Date: November 6, 2019, 4:24 pm
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       [quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1084.msg41554#msg41554
       date=1573067419]
       [quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain
       link=topic=1084.msg41503#msg41503 date=1572988286]
       [quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1084.msg41496#msg41496
       date=1572981844]
       Sometimes we are glad to learn about something we might not have
       realized can be unpleasant for others, so we can avoid it.
       But there is a difference between suggesting or requesting that
       posters avoid phrasing things in a certain way, and slamming
       them for doing so.
       [/quote]
       That's true.  But, it's still giving unsolicited, and in most
       cases, unneeded advice.
       It's one thing if someone writes a post saying "I said something
       and I think I offended someone.  How could I have said it
       better?" But, it's quite another to take someone's interaction
       withing a thread and turn it into the topic of discussion.
       Here, the topic is "How could I have politely refused to eat the
       Sponge Cake?"not "How Toots could have better worded her post to
       Beaglemommy."
       If something offends you, I don't think there is anything wrong
       with expressing that it offended you and why.  But, to "correct"
       someone (who hasn't asked, btw) and instruct them on how to
       better express themselves really seems very rude and
       condescending.
       [/quote]
       Should people who want to raise such a point start a new thread
       about it instead?  If so, then I guess it would go in a general
       category, though, and then people wouldn't necessarily see it;
       they'd just see the problematic usage go by without comment.
       I'm truly not trying to be argumentative -- I just see your
       point, and I'm trying to figure out a good solution.  In a real
       life conversation, you'd either say something (politely!) in
       real time, or wait until a private moment with the other person
       (especially if others are around), or let it go, depending on
       the circumstances.  But even saying something then and there
       isn't "threadjacking."
       So are these discussions more like conversations?  Or more like
       discussion boards that must stick to one topic?
       I don't have an answer.  I'm interested to hear everyone's
       opinions.
       (And this is threadjacking, too, isn't it!)
       [/quote]
       I don't have a problem with posters saying in a thread that they
       found a joke offensive or that they think a different way of
       phrasing it would be better.
       I just think it should be communicated in an appropriate way.
       Saying the comment was one of the most ignorant on the forum,
       referring to it as a "crappy comment" or saying that no one
       would find the comment slightly amusing was way more offensive
       in my opinion than the original joke. Especially since diabetes
       has affected my life for the last 30 years and I found the
       comment funny.
       Not all of us have the same style of humor.
       #Post#: 41690--------------------------------------------------
       Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
       By: LadyX Date: November 8, 2019, 7:00 pm
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       [quote author=RubyCat link=topic=1084.msg41416#msg41416
       date=1572834994]
       I joke about disease all the time. Without getting into gross
       details, sometimes it's either laugh or cry. I'd rather not cry.
       Also, I find it rather disturbing how some people are so eager
       to dogpile on what was obviously an attempt at humor that may
       (or may not) have fallen flat (I understood where Toots was
       coming from).
       I don't understand this impulse to assume the worst, especially
       in somebody who has been nothing but gracious and kind.
       It would be nice if we could assume the best.  You know, show a
       little grace.
       [/quote]
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