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#Post#: 41416--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: RubyCat Date: November 3, 2019, 8:36 pm
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I joke about disease all the time. Without getting into gross
details, sometimes it's either laugh or cry. I'd rather not cry.
Also, I find it rather disturbing how some people are so eager
to dogpile on what was obviously an attempt at humor that may
(or may not) have fallen flat (I understood where Toots was
coming from). I don't understand this impulse to assume the
worst, especially in somebody who has been nothing but gracious
and kind.
It would be nice if we could assume the best. You know, show a
little grace.
#Post#: 41419--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Meg1079 Date: November 3, 2019, 9:15 pm
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My other half has spina bifida and is in a wheelchair. We're
always making jokes about how great that is because in certain
situations we don't have to stand in line, and I joke how he's
my own personal lap to sit on if we're some place that doesn't
have seating. He's the first one who will make jokes about his
disability, and he hates it when able-bodied people try to tell
him how to feel about that.
(I'm not trying to speak for all disabled people, or those with
health issues, I'm just trying to put some perspective on this.)
#Post#: 41429--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: LadyX Date: November 3, 2019, 10:48 pm
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As was so ably put by the person who reported this thread:
"Attack the comment, not the commenter."
Thank-you all very much!
#Post#: 41447--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Hmmm Date: November 4, 2019, 9:41 am
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=hovlane link=topic=1084.msg41390#msg41390
date=1572810860]
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1084.msg41353#msg41353
date=1572659951]
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=1084.msg38583#msg38583
date=1568317306]
My usual reply to someone offering me a dessert (or anything) I
don’t like is “I’ve had my share of carbs for the day, but
thanks”.
[/quote]
There’s got to be SOME upside to being diabetic, right? Sounds
like that’s it–a ready-made excuse that no one can argue with to
decline foods you don’t want.
[/quote]
I suppose you were making a very poor attempt at a joke, and it
failed miserably.
What's wrong with you that you could even think anyone would
find this comment even slightly amusing? This is one of the most
ignorant comments I've read here, and "just kidding" (if that's
your excuse for that crappy comment) won't make it any better,
in fact maybe worse because it would demonstrate that you do,
indeed, know better.
[/quote]
I had a father who was diabetic, I have two sisters are diabetic
and I've been borderline diabetic since my 20's and have been
lucky to control it be diet for the last 30 plus years. People
making comments about "looking for an upside"or silver lining is
a pretty standard comment. I find people jumping on Toots for
this tongue in cheek comment as completely over reacting. This
is the type of comment that would have been made amongst my
family and would have been taken as intended.
#Post#: 41453--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Hello Ducky Date: November 4, 2019, 10:54 am
---------------------------------------------------------
I think there's a huge difference between throwing out a general
statement about a "silver lining" to something and joking about
a condition or disease one may have with friends/relatives.
In the latter situation, it's a person coping with his/her
situation with humor in their own circle. Most of us do that at
some point.
In the former, it's pretty insensitive as one never knows who
will be hearing/reading it and the stage those people are at in
dealing with their condition.
#Post#: 41458--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: LurkingGurl Date: November 4, 2019, 1:34 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1084.msg41447#msg41447
date=1572882111]
[quote author=hovlane link=topic=1084.msg41390#msg41390
date=1572810860]
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1084.msg41353#msg41353
date=1572659951]
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=1084.msg38583#msg38583
date=1568317306]
My usual reply to someone offering me a dessert (or anything) I
don’t like is “I’ve had my share of carbs for the day, but
thanks”.
[/quote]
There’s got to be SOME upside to being diabetic, right? Sounds
like that’s it–a ready-made excuse that no one can argue with to
decline foods you don’t want.
[/quote]
I suppose you were making a very poor attempt at a joke, and it
failed miserably.
What's wrong with you that you could even think anyone would
find this comment even slightly amusing? This is one of the most
ignorant comments I've read here, and "just kidding" (if that's
your excuse for that crappy comment) won't make it any better,
in fact maybe worse because it would demonstrate that you do,
indeed, know better.
[/quote]
I had a father who was diabetic, I have two sisters are diabetic
and I've been borderline diabetic since my 20's and have been
lucky to control it be diet for the last 30 plus years. People
making comments about "looking for an upside"or silver lining is
a pretty standard comment. I find people jumping on Toots for
this tongue in cheek comment as completely over reacting. This
is the type of comment that would have been made amongst my
family and would have been taken as intended.
[/quote]
And it was in a circle so to speak--it was part of a
conversation in this thread among a few posters. The comment
wasn't just general, it was directed at Beaglemommy. If anyone
has the right to take offense, it's her and only her. Secondly,
people who have diabetes or have deal with it.
But, this whole outrage on behalf of others to this extent is
just ridiculous! A little dark humor is not worth blowing up a
thread about.
Also, this constant need for people like hovlane to tell other
people how to post, like "she should have phrased it like this."
Really?
#Post#: 41460--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: chigger Date: November 4, 2019, 2:57 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain
link=topic=1084.msg41458#msg41458 date=1572896085]
[quote author=Hmmm link=topic=1084.msg41447#msg41447
date=1572882111]
[quote author=hovlane link=topic=1084.msg41390#msg41390
date=1572810860]
[quote author=TootsNYC link=topic=1084.msg41353#msg41353
date=1572659951]
[quote author=BeagleMommy link=topic=1084.msg38583#msg38583
date=1568317306]
My usual reply to someone offering me a dessert (or anything) I
don’t like is “I’ve had my share of carbs for the day, but
thanks”.
[/quote]
There’s got to be SOME upside to being diabetic, right? Sounds
like that’s it–a ready-made excuse that no one can argue with to
decline foods you don’t want.
[/quote]
I suppose you were making a very poor attempt at a joke, and it
failed miserably.
What's wrong with you that you could even think anyone would
find this comment even slightly amusing? This is one of the most
ignorant comments I've read here, and "just kidding" (if that's
your excuse for that crappy comment) won't make it any better,
in fact maybe worse because it would demonstrate that you do,
indeed, know better.
[/quote]
I had a father who was diabetic, I have two sisters are diabetic
and I've been borderline diabetic since my 20's and have been
lucky to control it be diet for the last 30 plus years. People
making comments about "looking for an upside"or silver lining is
a pretty standard comment. I find people jumping on Toots for
this tongue in cheek comment as completely over reacting. This
is the type of comment that would have been made amongst my
family and would have been taken as intended.
[/quote]
And it was in a circle so to speak--it was part of a
conversation in this thread among a few posters. The comment
wasn't just general, it was directed at Beaglemommy. If anyone
has the right to take offense, it's her and only her. Secondly,
people who have diabetes or have deal with it.
But, this whole outrage on behalf of others to this extent is
just ridiculous! A little dark humor is not worth blowing up a
thread about.
Also, this constant need for people like hovlane to tell other
people how to post, like "she should have phrased it like this."
Really?
[/quote]
I agree one hundred percent! Toots's comment was very clearly
tongue in cheek. It gets very tiring when SJW pick apart every
post, and expound on how it SHOULD have been phrased. I come
from a long line of diabetics, gave Granny all her shots when I
was fourteen! My husband and I both have prediabetes, so yep, it
really is a silver lining to be able to turn down someones
unwanted offering!
#Post#: 41496--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Gellchom Date: November 5, 2019, 1:24 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes we are glad to learn about something we might not have
realized can be unpleasant for others, so we can avoid it.
But there is a difference between suggesting or requesting that
posters avoid phrasing things in a certain way, and slamming
them for doing so.
#Post#: 41503--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: LurkingGurl Date: November 5, 2019, 3:11 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1084.msg41496#msg41496
date=1572981844]
Sometimes we are glad to learn about something we might not have
realized can be unpleasant for others, so we can avoid it.
But there is a difference between suggesting or requesting that
posters avoid phrasing things in a certain way, and slamming
them for doing so.
[/quote]
That's true. But, it's still giving unsolicited, and in most
cases, unneeded advice.
It's one thing if someone writes a post saying "I said something
and I think I offended someone. How could I have said it
better?" But, it's quite another to take someone's interaction
withing a thread and turn it into the topic of discussion.
Here, the topic is "How could I have politely refused to eat the
Sponge Cake?"not "How Toots could have better worded her post to
Beaglemommy."
If something offends you, I don't think there is anything wrong
with expressing that it offended you and why. But, to "correct"
someone (who hasn't asked, btw) and instruct them on how to
better express themselves really seems very rude and
condescending.
#Post#: 41554--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Gellchom Date: November 6, 2019, 1:10 pm
---------------------------------------------------------
[quote author=Mary Sunshine Rain
link=topic=1084.msg41503#msg41503 date=1572988286]
[quote author=Gellchom link=topic=1084.msg41496#msg41496
date=1572981844]
Sometimes we are glad to learn about something we might not have
realized can be unpleasant for others, so we can avoid it.
But there is a difference between suggesting or requesting that
posters avoid phrasing things in a certain way, and slamming
them for doing so.
[/quote]
That's true. But, it's still giving unsolicited, and in most
cases, unneeded advice.
It's one thing if someone writes a post saying "I said something
and I think I offended someone. How could I have said it
better?" But, it's quite another to take someone's interaction
withing a thread and turn it into the topic of discussion.
Here, the topic is "How could I have politely refused to eat the
Sponge Cake?"not "How Toots could have better worded her post to
Beaglemommy."
If something offends you, I don't think there is anything wrong
with expressing that it offended you and why. But, to "correct"
someone (who hasn't asked, btw) and instruct them on how to
better express themselves really seems very rude and
condescending.
[/quote]
Should people who want to raise such a point start a new thread
about it instead? If so, then I guess it would go in a general
category, though, and then people wouldn't necessarily see it;
they'd just see the problematic usage go by without comment.
I'm truly not trying to be argumentative -- I just see your
point, and I'm trying to figure out a good solution. In a real
life conversation, you'd either say something (politely!) in
real time, or wait until a private moment with the other person
(especially if others are around), or let it go, depending on
the circumstances. But even saying something then and there
isn't "threadjacking."
So are these discussions more like conversations? Or more like
discussion boards that must stick to one topic?
I don't have an answer. I'm interested to hear everyone's
opinions.
(And this is threadjacking, too, isn't it!)
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