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#Post#: 29091--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Luci Date: April 8, 2019, 7:07 pm
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[quote author=Lula link=topic=1084.msg29072#msg29072
date=1554746876]
"It looks beautiful, and I can appreciate all the work and skill
that went into it, but you know what? I've just never been able
to get into sponge cake. I'm afraid it's not a taste I'll ever
acquire. Thank you for offering, though."
[/quote]
As a busy hostess, I would be more upset by someone saying all
that instead of, "No thank you."
By the way, I still won’t eat something I don’t want. There is
the soup that was put before me. It was really strong garlicky
and I wasn’t about to touch, even teaspoon, or I would have been
sick all evening. Only with a rude direct question would I have
even said that it was too spicy for me. Or if I were paying for
it.
#Post#: 29119--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: lowspark Date: April 9, 2019, 8:53 am
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[quote author=Luci link=topic=1084.msg29091#msg29091
date=1554768431]
[quote author=Lula link=topic=1084.msg29072#msg29072
date=1554746876]
"It looks beautiful, and I can appreciate all the work and skill
that went into it, but you know what? I've just never been able
to get into sponge cake. I'm afraid it's not a taste I'll ever
acquire. Thank you for offering, though."
[/quote]
As a busy hostess, I would be more upset by someone saying all
that instead of, "No thank you."
[/quote]
I agree. Long explanations of why someone doesn't want to eat
something I might be serving aren't necessary. "No thank you" is
sufficient. It's sort of on par with information about allergies
and possible negative outcomes. TMI.
And a gracious hostess will accept "No thank you" as a complete
sentence. If they begin to insist, well then, all bets are off!
#Post#: 29133--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: oogyda Date: April 9, 2019, 12:39 pm
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Is there a dog you can feed under the table?
#Post#: 29161--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: TeamBhakta Date: April 9, 2019, 11:57 pm
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Save it on your plate for last. When you finish eating
everything else and she asks why you didn't try it, say "Oh
gosh, I'm too full for a slice. It looks lovely, though!"
#Post#: 29165--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Aleko Date: April 10, 2019, 1:45 am
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[quote]Is there a dog you can feed under the table?[/quote]
Please, no! Not even in jest. It's bad enough when people feed
their own pets at table, but to feed other people's animals -
even if what you're slipping them isn't something wholly
unsuitable and unhealthy for them such as sponge cake - is a
foul, foul fault.
Feeding other people's animals other than with their owners'
explicit approval is by definition rude to the owners, and
what's more it is cruel to the animals. Never, never do it.
#Post#: 29171--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Hmmm Date: April 10, 2019, 9:14 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1084.msg29165#msg29165
date=1554878735]
[quote]Is there a dog you can feed under the table?[/quote]
Please, no! Not even in jest. It's bad enough when people feed
their own pets at table, but to feed other people's animals -
even if what you're slipping them isn't something wholly
unsuitable and unhealthy for them such as sponge cake - is a
foul, foul fault.
Feeding other people's animals other than with their owners'
explicit approval is by definition rude to the owners, and
what's more it is cruel to the animals. Never, never do it.
[/quote]
Yep... my sister slipped our beagle a piece of meat while we
dining outside once. She has never done it again and now
cautions others that they may be expelled from our home for the
offense and that she is only invited back because she is family.
Our animals are not allowed near our dining tables when we eat.
If you want to have dogs under foot in your home when dining,
fine, but you will not encourage that behavior in our home.
#Post#: 29176--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: NFPwife Date: April 10, 2019, 10:04 am
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To the main question I, also, like a simple, "No thank you,"
when the cake is being plated. If it's served to me, I try to
say, "No thanks," before it's set in front of me. If I miss
those two opportunities, I simply don't eat it.
To the side conversation about feeding pets (I think the
original suggestion was facetious) if a family pet is pestering
me for food, I say, "Benji's really working me. Is he allowed to
have (X)? I'm a super-soft touch!" They'll either say "No" and
move Benji along or I'll be allowed to slip Benji some treats.
#Post#: 29224--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Gellchom Date: April 11, 2019, 4:28 pm
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I'd eat some or all of both cakes, or none of either.
I can't think of a gracious way for the OP to eat only the
chocolate cake that she made herself and not the cake her
hostess made, or even to eat just a bite or two of the sponge
cake while polishing off the chocolate.
If it would be too hard to eat roughly the same amount of each,
then I'd just say no thanks to dessert entirely. I'd be
disappointed if I really wanted some chocolate cake, but it just
seems too insulting otherwise, as if I were saying, "Only the
cake I made myself is good enough for me; I'm a much better
baker." And it's just a piece of cake, not some huge sacrifice.
#Post#: 29227--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: Jem Date: April 11, 2019, 4:54 pm
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“And it's just a piece of cake, not some huge sacrifice.”
Yes, it is just a piece of cake, not some sort of statement
about the friendship or the woman who baked the cake or even the
cake itself! I would eat what I want to eat, not eat what I
don’t want to eat, and just cheerfully brush it off if anyone
were so rude as to question my choices. “Have some sponge cake!”
“Oh, no thanks! So, tell me more about Billy’s soccer season!”
#Post#: 29231--------------------------------------------------
Re: But But I don't want to eat that.......
By: TootsNYC Date: April 11, 2019, 8:02 pm
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[quote author=DaDancingPsych link=topic=1084.msg29078#msg29078
date=1554751565]
I have heard that with plated food that the polite thing to do
is to take a few polite bites and not worry about finishing. I
am not a huge fan of this when you know that you do not want
something, as it seems rather wasteful. I think that it would be
better to decline. I think that in this specific case since you
made the other cake, that I would decline ALL dessert (even if I
knew that I would enjoy mine.) I think that the polite fiction
of not wanting dessert would be better than selecting my recipe
over the hostess's. If I knew the hostess well, then I might
say, "No sponge cake for me; it's not really my thing. Please
save my piece for someone who will thoroughly appreciate it!"
But I would never want the individual to think that I liked mine
better, especially when I was not even giving theirs a chance!
[/quote]
It is even MORE wasteful for you to put calories in your bodies
that you do not need and do not enjoy. It actively harms you.
Once it's been plated, there is no "putting it back." I agree
that if you can head off the arrival of the food on your plate,
you should.
I would just cut a bite of and smush it around on my plate while
no one was looking, so it looks like you tasted it at least, and
then eat the part you do want.
But it is
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