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#Post#: 28428--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Jem Date: March 26, 2019, 9:22 pm
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[quote author=hovlane link=topic=1056.msg28424#msg28424
date=1553650531]
"Autocorrect might end human communication by turning all
sensible sentences into gibberish, but that's another matter."
Off topic briefly, but I've yet to understand what the objection
is to auto correct. If one proofreads their texts this won't
happen.
[/quote]
I don’t like autocorrect because it often “corrects” incorrectly
things I actually want to say, and un-autocorrecting is
surprisingly frustrating because it will continue to
“autocorrect” what never needed correcting!
#Post#: 28436--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Aleko Date: March 27, 2019, 3:21 am
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It's almost fifty years since the tort of breach of promise was
abolished in England (I don't think Scotland ever had it), and
even in 1970 it was such an anachronism that I suspect most
people would have been surprised to find that it still existed
to need abolishing.
The basis of the tort was the social presumption that:
(1) that marriage was generally a woman's only respectable way
of making a living.
(2) that an engaged woman would "allow" her fiancé more intimacy
than she would otherwise do, and even if there was no suggestion
that this intimacy had extended to sex, if the engagement was
broken off other men would see her as in some degree
"second-hand", "used goods".
(3) that a woman's "shelf life" for marriage, unlike a man's,
was very short as her desirability could only decrease after the
age of 20 or so; if she unwisely entered into a long engagement
which was broken off after some years, she might have lost the
chance of marrying at all. (Let's say that in the 19th century,
Edwin and Angelina plighted their troth both aged 20, and he
went off to India to make his fortune and seven years later had
risen to be a District Commissioner. Aged 27, with high status,
a good income and prospects of further promotion, he would be a
far more desirable catch in the marriage market than he was at
20; whereas Angelina would be, if not already an old maid,
dangerously close to it.)
As soon as all these ceased to be true in society, breaking an
engagement ceased to be in and of itself damaging for the
fiancée. Of course, if she could show that she had actually
suffered some material loss - say she had had the offer of a
brilliant post but turned it down as it would involve living
away from her intended - she could still sue for that.
#Post#: 28482--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: TootsNYC Date: March 27, 2019, 5:47 pm
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[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1056.msg28419#msg28419
date=1553646002]
I probably didn't make this clear, but that conversation was a
looooooooooong time ago. Now I'mm sure that a breach of promise
suit would get laughed out of court.
[/quote]
In your lifetime, it would have gotten laughed out of court.
#Post#: 28483--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: TootsNYC Date: March 27, 2019, 5:48 pm
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[quote author=hovlane link=topic=1056.msg28424#msg28424
date=1553650531]
"Autocorrect might end human communication by turning all
sensible sentences into gibberish, but that's another matter."
Off topic briefly, but I've yet to understand what the objection
is to auto correct. If one proofreads their texts this won't
happen.
[/quote]
Who stops to proofread?
Anyway, almost all auto correct errors are funny. We need a few
laughs in our world!
#Post#: 28684--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: hovlane Date: March 30, 2019, 7:18 pm
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I do. I was unaware it was out of style, but I'm old fashioned
in some things. ;)
#Post#: 28696--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Nikko-chan Date: March 31, 2019, 1:41 am
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[quote author=Celestia link=topic=1056.msg28194#msg28194
date=1553440473]
As a counterpoint, I ALWAYS prefer to have difficult
conversations by text/IM/email. (I'm 29) I'm fine with chatting
in person on nice things but I get emotional extremely easily,
and it's so much easier to have a productive conversation when I
can fall apart and cry without being seen, and take the time to
delete the first, heated words out of my mouth. There are
serious advantages to text over speech and a large percentage of
my generation deals with issues like anxiety and depression that
make those advantages even better.
All that said, it's not RUDE to just call people, but I
definitely prefer the convention of messaging first. Otherwise
you'll get a few minutes of silence while I rush around getting
a glass of water and my headset and preparing to talk for a
while.
[/quote]
Per the bolded. Yes! I have anxiety. Though it is not RUDE of
people to call me first, I tend to prefer texts first because I
can prepare myself. Or I can text back with "Unfortunately I
can't talk right now." This takes the burden off of me of
spitting out an anxious sounding "Hello?" then people want to
know whats wrong.
#Post#: 28709--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Lula Date: March 31, 2019, 1:44 pm
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[quote author=Celestia link=topic=1056.msg28194#msg28194
date=1553440473]
As a counterpoint, I ALWAYS prefer to have difficult
conversations by text/IM/email. (I'm 29) I'm fine with chatting
in person on nice things but I get emotional extremely easily,
and it's so much easier to have a productive conversation when I
can fall apart and cry without being seen, and take the time to
delete the first, heated words out of my mouth. There are
serious advantages to text over speech and a large percentage of
my generation deals with issues like anxiety and depression that
make those advantages even better.
[/quote]
THIS. I have a severe disadvantage in spoken conversations.
Writing is my voice. If I had to handle all serious,
emotionally-charged matters in person or on the phone, I would
have little power over my life.
#Post#: 28711--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Contrarian Date: March 31, 2019, 2:09 pm
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In response to this, yes, use text and writing when necessary
and as a tool to communicate when anxiety is high. But I think
it’s important, and I’m not suggesting any posters are not doing
this, but it’s important to try to take some steps to deal with
being uncomfortable in public. I barely said a word to anyone
until I was about 24 and I’ve worked on this and still work on
it twenty years later and there is nothing more rewarding than
pulling myself together, and facing someone in real life and
getting through in real time.
There are so many times when I feel embarrassed and overthink
what I’ve said and done, but realizing afterwards that most
normal people are anxious and everyone realizes no one is
perfect or speaks perfectly and understands that people can t
always express themselves, well, it’s good to go in there and
mix with the other humans occasionally.
It’s empowering and I just want to say, there are ways to avoid
experiencing anxiety but this may be something hat never goes
away, and not letting it defeat you sometimes is awesome.
#Post#: 28724--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Hanna Date: March 31, 2019, 7:42 pm
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[quote author=Soop link=topic=1056.msg28249#msg28249
date=1553519133]
[quote author=Venus193 link=topic=1056.msg28198#msg28198
date=1553443973]
Words on a screen can't convey emotion or other things that a
tone of voice can. Good for business where emotion is not
wanted but questionable in a personal situation.
[/quote]
That's what emojis are for. The people that are using text as
their main communication don't seem to be having trouble
conveying emotions.
[/quote]
Not terribly important but much of the time my use of emojis is
complete BS. I often use them as a way to respond when I really
have nothing to say. Often just use whichever one I think the
other person expects or as a way to end a text exchange that’s
gone on too long for my tastes. Kisses and hearts are the main
exception here. I mean those.
I liken it to the twitter posts I’ve seen showing what seemingly
happy things people posted while they were actually feeling
suicidal. I don’t trust emojis much for conveying true feelings
and only trust them slightly more than I trust social media
posts. Although oddly, I can tell fairly accurately how my
fiancé is feeling based on his punctuation.
#Post#: 28725--------------------------------------------------
Re: "Too Intrusive" or Something Else?
By: Hanna Date: March 31, 2019, 7:43 pm
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I do like when people text first before calling. Even my fiancé
and generally do ask if now is a good time to talk before we
call. I don’t think it’s rude to not ask, unless the person has
indicated it’s their preference.
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