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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 28139--------------------------------------------------
To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: Gardensgrey Date: March 23, 2019, 12:58 pm
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Hi all. Several years ago, I attended a wedding followed by an
cocktail/hors d’oevres reception.When we arrived at the venue,
the bride and groom had not yet made it, as they were doing the
post-ceremony picture thing, As I recall, they arrived at the
reception approximately 30 minutes after their guests. The
(substantial and abundant) hors d’oevres were out, and the wait
staff were standing at stations, ready to serve. I and most of
the guests happily dug in, awaiting the entrance of the happy
couple. But the bride’s aunt apparently chastised several of the
guests ( !) for being rude by not waiting to nosh until the
newlyweds showed up. I feel that this was in itself a rudeness,
but, that aside, we’re the guests rude for not waiting ? What do
you Brimstoners say?
#Post#: 28140--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: MiriamCatriona Date: March 23, 2019, 1:14 pm
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The whole point of cocktail hour is to give the guests something
to do during pictures! If the bride and groom hadn't wanted you
to eat when you arrived at the venue, they wouldn't have
arranged to have food ready for you.
#Post#: 28141--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: lakey Date: March 23, 2019, 1:18 pm
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I agree with Miriam. At weddings I've been to they put them out
so that people can enjoy them while they drink their cocktails.
Also, chastising guests, even if they did make a mistake, isn't
very hospitable.
#Post#: 28144--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: Rose Red Date: March 23, 2019, 2:46 pm
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I agree too. If the guests weren't supposed to eat, food
shouldn't be served or the caterer should make an announcement
regarding the start time. I'm willing to bet the HC would be
horrified and embarrassed if they found out about the aunt's
behaviour.
#Post#: 28149--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: Luci Date: March 23, 2019, 5:03 pm
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I agree. If they were out, it was for serving. Someone should
have explained to Aunt Clueless.
#Post#: 28150--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: Gardensgrey Date: March 23, 2019, 5:09 pm
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Thanks for all your prompt responses. I knew we were not being
rude, but wanted to make sure there was not some arcane rule of
behavior I was missing. Now I can sleep untroubled once again
::).
#Post#: 28168--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: guest24 Date: March 24, 2019, 3:01 am
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If there's an Aunt Clueless in either family, she can have the
job of standing outside to await the arrival of the bride and
groom.
#Post#: 28169--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: Aleko Date: March 24, 2019, 5:28 am
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I would say that if the buffet is open and the staff are all out
there waiting to serve the guests, it would actually be rude of
the guests to hold off, thus leaving the staff twiddling their
thumbs and putting the happy couple in the position of having
unwittingly kept all these hungry people waiting while they
indulged themselves in photography.
And of course there's no excuse for Aunt Clueless. Regardless of
whether the guests were supposed to start eating or not (and I
suppose it is just possible that the caterers had misunderstood
their instructions in this case), people who take it into their
heads to interfere in other people's catering arrangements
without knowing their intentions are a nuisance.
(Many years ago the re-enactment group I belonged to held a
Waterloo Ball at Apsley House, the London home of the Duke of
Wellington, and as part of my contribution to the catering I had
made a very large fruit tart depicting the Duke's coat of arms
in different-coloured fruits. At the end of the ball I was a bit
dismayed to see that after all the effort I'd put into it nobody
had eaten any: when a goofy friend of ours said happily, 'I
stayed by the buffet table all evening to make sure that nobody
tried to cut a piece, so you could take it home with you
intact!' Why he assumed I hadn't brought it to be eaten, and
what the heck he thought I was going to do at home with a fruit
tart big enough for a couple of dozen people, heaven only knows.
And whatever he thought, why not ASK me?)
#Post#: 28183--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: Gardensgrey Date: March 24, 2019, 9:01 am
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Thank you all for affirming that my take on this was correct.
And Aleko.......holy guacamole!
#Post#: 28185--------------------------------------------------
Re: To eat or not to eat? That is the question.
By: TeamBhakta Date: March 24, 2019, 9:11 am
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This is reminding me of the story from the old board about "we
put cakes on each reception table & I'm mad one person cut into
her table's cake."
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