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Bad Manners and Brimstone
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#Post#: 28042--------------------------------------------------
"I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: TeamBhakta Date: March 21, 2019, 11:32 pm
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The NY Times had an article about wedding crashers. Crashers do
a search online for local weddings & show up for the free food.
There is a suggestion that couples password protect their
wedding websites to prevent this behavior. How would you handle
a crasher at your wedding ? Have you encountered them ?
HTML https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/21/fashion/weddings/wedding-crashers-just-want-to-have-some-fun.html
#Post#: 28044--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: Aleko Date: March 22, 2019, 2:53 am
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The mother's self-serving claim that she and her husband
actually enriched the wedding receptions of total strangers with
their charm, style, and joie de vivre is about the most
repellent, conceited justification for trespassing and petty
theft (because that's what it is) that I have ever heard. Ugh!
As far as I know this is not, thank heavens, a thing this side
of the Pond. Though I can well imagine it might become so, if
the trend for stupidly large and expensive weddings continues
unabated. (I've never been to a wedding so large that a person
or couple unknown to either bride or bridegroom wouldn't stand
out. Particularly since nobody I know does the 'plus guest'
thing: if you don't have a spouse, live-in partner or official
fiancé - who will obviously be familiar to at least some of one
side of the family - you are invited on your own.)
Also, if you're having a big expensive bash at a desirable
venue, either you or the management should surely arrange for
some employee to be checking people's invitations at the door.
(If only because at a big venue there may be more than one
wedding reception at a time, and people need to be helped to
avoid wandering into the wrong one by mistake.) If you can't
produce a stiffie, you don't get let in. Granted, that might not
stop the really determined and ingenious, but it would catch
maybe 90%.
It seems to me that a much more serious potential problem with
putting all these details on an open-access website is that you
are flagging up to literally the whole world that you and all
your nearest and dearest are going to be away from home, and
that this is a good time to go burgle their houses.
#Post#: 28052--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: IWish Date: March 22, 2019, 8:21 am
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I have encountered one at a wedding. It was a very nice wedding
at the ritziest hotel in town. There was a middle aged couple
seated at our table who I didn't recognize. I knew most of the
bride's friends and family so we (and everyone on the bride's
side assumed it must be a co-worker of the groom.) Turns out the
groom's side all thought they must be related to the bride. Thus
no one said anything all night as they drank, ate, and danced
their hearts out. It wasn't until the day after the wedding when
everyone figured it out. To add insult, the woman was dressed in
a very revealing short red mini-dress and they were all over
each other the whole night, both during dinner and on the dance
floor. They stuck out like a sore thumb, but it was funny how
everyone just assumed they must belong to the OTHER side.
#Post#: 28053--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: DaDancingPsych Date: March 22, 2019, 8:23 am
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I imagine that true wedding crashers aim for larger (read more
pricey) weddings than what I attend, so this is probably the
reason that I think that they are so rare. If I encountered a
wedding crasher, I am not entirely sure what I would do. I
imagine that the bride and groom (and parents) are all too busy
to worry about or notice someone who is not causing a scene.
Sure, the person is committing theft, but they are not really
ruining the party. However, I suppose that they could alert the
venue of the issue and allow the manager to care for it. If I
was a guest, I would feel uncomfortable speaking up. The
crashers are claiming to be connected to the couple and even if
I knew something about their story was not right, I would feel
awful to error and have the couple questioned when they belonged
there. Or if they were crashers, I would hate to make a scene
that would tarnish the party. I see why it is so easy to get
away with!
I do not think I would call them wedding crashers, but I have
seen non-guests wander into a celebration. Usually they are a
happy surprise that adds to the day and then drifts away. In the
same vein, I have done this. I was at a nice hotel that was
hosting an Indian wedding and I found myself peeking into the
many festivities, as it was like nothing I had seen before. A
few guests and hotel workers were kind enough to speak with me
and explain the traditions, so it was cool to get to witness
pieces of things. I did not claim to be a guest and I certainly
did not eat or drink anything, although one guests did invite me
in to do so. I declined and just continued peeking through the
"bushes". ;D
I always thought crashing would be fun and easy, but not
something that I would ever do. As pointed out, one is
committing thief! But I can easily see why this is a thing.
#Post#: 28065--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: STiG Date: March 22, 2019, 9:10 am
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People who crash weddings just for the food boggle my mind. Who
wants to sit through the speeches, given by and about people you
don't know??
We had a couple 'crash' our wedding, though it was with our
blessing. Friends of my husband's were coming from a long way
away and made a vacation out of it, seeing family and friends in
our area while they were back. One couple, they could only see
the evening of our wedding so they asked if it would be OK with
us if they came to the reception after dinner. It wasn't open
bar - not really done in our area - so that was no issue. We
did have a 10 pm luncheon spread that they may have partaken in
but since there were so many leftovers, it really didn't matter.
Everyone had a great time.
#Post#: 28068--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: Luci Date: March 22, 2019, 9:34 am
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That explains why we had to wear a lanyard at one wedding we
attended! I just thought it was tacky with our nice wedding
clothes.
I don’t understand the password for the wedding site though. How
would you tell everyone? I guess it would have to go on the save
the date card. It doesn’t seem necessary.
I do see the humor in the wedding crasher activity, but it is
intrusive and a form of theft.
#Post#: 28082--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: mime Date: March 22, 2019, 1:00 pm
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I agree with this-- it sounds like a horrible self-justifying
excuse for basically stealing:
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1052.msg28044#msg28044
date=1553241207]
The mother's self-serving claim that she and her husband
actually enriched the wedding receptions of total strangers with
their charm, style, and joie de vivre is about the most
repellent, conceited justification for trespassing and petty
theft (because that's what it is) that I have ever heard. Ugh!
[/quote]
Where I live, this became a thing with funerals a couple decades
ago-- it was actually common for the newspaper to post the
address of the bereaved (for sending condolences, I guess),
until theft during the funeral started to become common.
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1052.msg28044#msg28044
date=1553241207]
It seems to me that a much more serious potential problem with
putting all these details on an open-access website is that you
are flagging up to literally the whole world that you and all
your nearest and dearest are going to be away from home, and
that this is a good time to go burgle their houses.
[/quote]
And finally, per the bolded, um... you know that's slang around
here (Midwestern US) for something else? I'm having trouble
reading this and not-seeing a whole different situation... :o
[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1052.msg28044#msg28044
date=1553241207]
Also, if you're having a big expensive bash at a desirable
venue, either you or the management should surely arrange for
some employee to be checking people's invitations at the door.
(If only because at a big venue there may be more than one
wedding reception at a time, and people need to be helped to
avoid wandering into the wrong one by mistake.) If you can't
produce a stiffie, you don't get let in. Granted, that might not
stop the really determined and ingenious, but it would catch
maybe 90%.
[/quote]
#Post#: 28086--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: Aleko Date: March 22, 2019, 2:06 pm
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[quote]And finally, per the bolded, um... you know that's slang
around here (Midwestern US) for something else?[/quote]
Whoops, is it? I had no idea. Over here, it's slang for a Proper
Formal Invitation on stiff white card, as opposed to an informal
card or hand-written note.
#Post#: 28103--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: STiG Date: March 22, 2019, 5:46 pm
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Here, it refers to a particular part of a man's anatomy in a
particular state... I did know what you were referring to but
it did make me do a double take and have a bit of a giggle.
#Post#: 28243--------------------------------------------------
Re: "I'm off to crash a wedding"
By: Flibbertigibbet Date: March 25, 2019, 7:21 am
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[quote author=Aleko link=topic=1052.msg28086#msg28086
date=1553281586]
[quote]And finally, per the bolded, um... you know that's slang
around here (Midwestern US) for something else?[/quote]
Whoops, is it? I had no idea. Over here, it's slang for a Proper
Formal Invitation on stiff white card, as opposed to an informal
card or hand-written note.
[/quote]
Um - that may even be regional, as I am also in the UK, and the
MidWestern US interpretation is the first that sprang to my mind
as well! Or maybe that says more about me! I wouldn't use it in
the UK unless you are very sure of your audience either!
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