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       #Post#: 27547--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: Jem
       Date: March 12, 2019, 9:14 am
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       --- Quote from: gramma dishes link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Jem link=topic=1035.msg27471#msg27471
       date=1552314474]
       > [quote author=Kimpossible link=topic=1035.msg27469#msg27469
       date=1552309658]
       > Half a cupcake thrown away is a clear indication that it isn't
       any good.
       --- End Quote ---
       I don't know this is entirely accurate. Some cupcakes are giant,
       and a person truly only wants half the cupcake. Some people are
       tracking their macros and have decided they wish to indulge in a
       few bites of a delicious cupcake, but not throw their
       nutritional planning out of whack by eating the entire thing.
       At certain restaurants I think the same can be true. Some places
       provide entrees that are easily 2-4 times the recommended
       serving amount. If a person only eats a portion of what is
       served, it COULD mean that they didn't like it.....but it could
       also mean they enjoyed it but only wanted the amount they
       decided to eat.
       [/quote]
       A cupcake is easily carried out.  If you loved the cupcake you
       might have asked for a bag to take the rest home with you.
       Throwing it out is a pretty sure indication you didn't like it.
       Restaurant food is the same except that if you're on your lunch
       break and have no way to refrigerate your uneaten portion, you
       may have to reluctantly leave it.  But lots of people do take
       restaurant leftovers home, especially if they are going there
       immediately.  I most certainly do!   ;)
       [/quote]
       Regarding the green.....for me it is not any indication of not
       liking the cupcake at all. I think it is a leap to assume there
       is something wrong with the food if a person chooses to not eat
       all of it. I leave uneaten food all the time for various reasons
       that have nothing to do with not liking the food.
       #Post#: 27549--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: DaDancingPsych
       Date: March 12, 2019, 10:13 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: Contrarian link ---
       >
       > For those of you too shy or nervous to give a critique when
       asked, I’m not sure what the point is of stating that. I assume
       that goes in almost every situation you’re in. The shy,
       non-social, introverts and people pleasers generally will shy
       away from any interaction that will prolong engagement so the
       fact that it’s a business instead of social doesn’t really
       change things does it.
       > Although, in their defense, I’m an introvert, I don’t shy away
       from confrontation or unpleasant situations but I do tend to
       spend very little time with others in the first place.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I'm an extrovert. It is a rare day that I do not want to
       interact with people. However, giving negative feedback is
       rarely ever pleasant, even if it is received well. Sometimes I
       prioritize my feelings and experience and choose not to provide
       the feedback. I do not think that it is a required part of the
       business interaction. The business can certainly ask, but I get
       to choose whether or not I want to provide those details. I do
       not see anything wrong with that. (Just as I do not see anything
       wrong with giving the feedback, too.)
       #Post#: 27586--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: DollyPardonMe
       Date: March 13, 2019, 7:20 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       OP - I think if you're feeling a bit bad about not being honest,
       and want to help the bakery, wait a few weeks and go back and
       try the cupcakes or other baked goods again.
       I think a lot of food establishments sometimes take a few months
       to really get things right and perfect everything. If you went
       when it was fairly new they may still be working things out with
       their recipes.
       Give it a few weeks and go back. If you try something again and
       it's still bad, and want to make some suggestions, you can. If
       not, then you never go back and that's that.
       #Post#: 27599--------------------------------------------------
       Re: New bakery dilemma - should I have said something
   DIR By: lowspark
       Date: March 13, 2019, 10:58 am
       ---------------------------------------------------------
       --- Quote from: DaDancingPsych link ---
       >
       > [quote author=Contrarian link=topic=1035.msg27494#msg27494
       date=1552325513]
       > For those of you too shy or nervous to give a critique when
       asked, I’m not sure what the point is of stating that. I assume
       that goes in almost every situation you’re in. The shy,
       non-social, introverts and people pleasers generally will shy
       away from any interaction that will prolong engagement so the
       fact that it’s a business instead of social doesn’t really
       change things does it.
       > Although, in their defense, I’m an introvert, I don’t shy away
       from confrontation or unpleasant situations but I do tend to
       spend very little time with others in the first place.
       >
       --- End Quote ---
       I'm an extrovert. It is a rare day that I do not want to
       interact with people. However, giving negative feedback is
       rarely ever pleasant, even if it is received well. Sometimes I
       prioritize my feelings and experience and choose not to provide
       the feedback. I do not think that it is a required part of the
       business interaction. The business can certainly ask, but I get
       to choose whether or not I want to provide those details. I do
       not see anything wrong with that. (Just as I do not see anything
       wrong with giving the feedback, too.)
       [/quote]
       This. I'm also an extrovert and agree with everything
       DaDancingPsych wrote.
       When giving negative feedback in a situation like this, the
       result is very unpredictable. Sometimes it's taken well,
       sometimes not. Even if they ask! And often, especially when they
       ask.
       If I want to give feedback, positive or negative, I want to be
       the one initiating that conversation. That way, I've given some
       thought as to what I want to say. When someone puts me on the
       spot, I'm much less likely to be candid as far as giving a
       negative response in that kind of situation. I want to make sure
       to say it in such a way as to be tactful and constructive while
       remaining honest.
       So I wouldn't exactly call it shy or nervous, but rather,
       methodical and deliberate, at least in my case. And no, I'm not
       like that in every situation I'm in. And yes, in my eyes,
       business interactions are quite different than social. It's not
       at all that I shy away from unpleasant or even confrontational
       situations. It's much more that I wish to be in control of my
       own thoughts an emotions when entering into those discussions,
       if possible.
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